As I surveyed the devastation of wrapping paper and plastic stuff that littered our living room floor I let out a contented sigh.
In front of me was my little pile of presents. No Gibson guitar. No electric drum kit. No Japanese steel blades with which to terrorise the neighborhood.
Daddy, we need more batteries!?
Squawked one of my brood as they pawed at some glittering plastic thing from China.
I smiled at the rank consumerism on display and pulled out a bag of rechargeable batteries from behind me.
I'll never see these again.
I thought, as they were torn from my hands to be placed in all manner of shite.
You having a good day, Daddy-Bear?
The Good Lady asked as she swished about doing stuff.
Aye, I think I am.
And I wasn't even lying for once.
Merry Christmas ya big bunch of Hivey bastarts!!
I really wish you got those blades because I think, after you having taught your neighborhood a harsh lesson, the resulting post would be something special. I had a good christmas but am now slightly let down that Santa didn't deliver you your sharpened steel.
It sounds like you had a lovely day and that you're content, and you typed so well so I assume a moderate number of drinks were consumed? As for the batteries, if you're good all year Santa might bring you some more next year, and those swords.
Becca 🌷
Merry Christmas milady!!
Alas I have gotten used to Santa never quite delivering what I hint for all year. I can only presume I am far too subtle and perhaps should just paint out what I want on the side of the house and remark upon it when we return from the shops.
One day I shall have my Japanese blades!
When I wrote the post I had only had two drinks. Fortunately I have rectified that now and am far from the shores of sobriety 😃
Hope you and the Mr Becca are having a splendid time!
A sad state of affairs when Santa doesn't deliver. There were a lovely par of pink speed skates with sparkly laces I wanted a long time ago, and Santa never delivered them so I know how you feel. I'm still quite cross with him about it.
I mentioned your predicament to my guy and he suggested he and you get together (he can provide the appropriate tools) and pay Santa a visit - he says that Santa is sure to deliver you everything you ask for after that, once he recovers. It all sounds rather disturbing, but a man and his blades must be brought together apparently.
Two drinks? It must only have been a half hour or so into the day. I'm sure you caught up and yes, we had a really nice day, thank you.
Also, no drink-typing sir, who knows what could happen.
Becca 🌷
Merry Christmas!
This made me laugh "as they pawed at some glittering plastic thing from China."
But THIS made me laugh more "And I wasn't even lying for once."
Sounds like you had a great family day, just like it should be.
37 minutes before the day will officially end here. It's been fun and feels like it shouldn't be over so fast. Only 365 days before we get to do it again. LOL !
Hehe, it was a whirlwind of consumerism and indulgence but it was fun.
Glad you had a nice day! 😃
Wish you and your family Merry Christmas and a wonderful holiday season.
Very happy holidays to you mate!!!
Merry Christmas to you, too! I hear the unicorns come out at night to eat battery thieves between Christmas and New Years. Warn the wee bairns.
We will be on guard for said unicorns. As our national animal they should know better! 🤣🤣 Merry Christmas!
I knew it was your national animal, which is why I chose it as the threat. I also know mythology unicorns and modern fantasy unicorns are very different beasts. Just beware, the American Bald Eagle is known for two favorite kinds of prey: salmon, and unicorns.
Bloody eagles, that's the last time I invite them in for tea!
There's a reason horses went extinct in the Americas prior to Spanish colonization reintroduced them. Horse ranchers drove bald eagles almost to extinction prior to the introduction of the automobile. Now horse owners use natural repellants to protect their stables. They teach all about it in 4H and boy scouts and the like.
Don't fact check this, because the bald eagle fans keep censoring the truth and hiding real history on scam sites like Wikipedia. Just take my word for it.
I shall not fact check this because it has the intrinsic ring of truth and to fact check it would be beneath both our stations. Instead, we shall both believe and that way the least harm will be done!
Lol 😂
Merry Christmas!! Maybe next year you'll get your Japanese steel blades.
One day those blades will come. Merry Christmas mate, I hope you and the missus have a corker of a day!!
Merry Xmas Boomy! My kids are grown up, but we all still like some toys. Shame about the guitar though.
Here's to great things next year.
!BEER
Merry Christmas Mr S!! Let's hope for a fab year ahead!! 😃😃
It's Christmas, I wish with all my heart that your best gifts (family, home), are still sitting around your table, with health in your lives, dreams in your hearts and joys in your souls. Merry Christmas.🎄🎁🌹🙏
I hope you have a fabulous day full of joy milady!!
Thank you very much for your kind wish, I also wish a happy holidays with your children, and wife 🎄🌹🎁
We are off to a good start!! 🙂
Happy Christmas @meesterboom . I hope you got the Lynx Africa .
Blue lavender I believe 🤣🤣🤣. Merry Christmas mate, may all your aftershaves not be old spice
🤣🤣🤣 the father used that . Reminds me of him. Mad for a bit of Old Spice so I am . Burn the chops off me .
Mine used it as well. It would be funny to try it on and see what it was like. Face stripper I'm sure!!
At least it was the crumb snatchers wanting the batteries for their new toys and not the Good Lady ..
The day that happens will be the day I give up on this sweet life and drive off into the night sky!! 🤣🤣
Merry Christmas 🎄🎅
What do you think of recharable batteries? I must admit I have gone back to buying Duracell.
I thought they were good before I had kids. Now they just take them and I never see them back for charging as they go in all sorts of shit toys that get played with then left for dead!
lol they seem to end up in various Christmas lights here, and then come out next year and are as dead as a fluffing dodo
Have Yourself and Family a Merry Christmas, past tense now hope it was great!
Twas a no mess no fuss, just family with much merriment, now to survive the New Year! Feck I hope those cracker jacks all implode under heavy rain down here. Just thinking aloud!
No mess, no fuss is perfect.
I am sure you will survive the new year like me, barely but stronger!!
Have a great one Joan!! 🎉🎉
Messed up, muddled up, finding direction again, end of 2024 and this year some shit show to say the least.
Nothing broken forever, just shake down keep moving again 🙃🤣
Happy Christmas to you and your family....as i write this post from the comforting aircon of the local KFC.
Christmas is sooooo overated, he said with a face tinged with envy!
Happy Christmas muckeroo!! I think I would happily accept som Aircon weather!! 😃😃
Merry Christmas @meesterboom ! Enjoy the cleanup.
I am on it already 😃😃
Cheers mate, have a good one!
Merry Christmas!
Happy New Year too!
Happy new year mate, not long now!!
My grandmother used to say that a gift means someone is thinking of you, and I think she was right. Maybe it wasn't what you wanted, but they were thinking of you.
Big hug.
Merry Christmas to you mate. Hope you have a lovely festive time! 🙂🙂
Happy holidays, the Gibson would have been great, I mean using it to light up the neighborhood or at least your living room. I wish you and yours a wonderful New year in advance.
It would have been but will remain a dream for now!! Merry Christmas dude!
Merry Christmas!!! from across the pond! haha
Merry Christmas mate!! Hope you have whipped up something tasty! 😃
Thanks! I did peanut brittle, fudge, and a chocolate raspberry tart, all were very tasty! But now I need to go to the gym LOL
Sounds yum!
I think we will all be due a them at the gym after the festive period!
I definitely need to go to the gym haha
Hope your day is full of laughter and maybe a little less glitter next year! 😂🎄
Cheers dude! I hope so too. It just seems to get worse at the years go on!!
Hope you have a good one! 😃
Merry Christmas! 🌲
Merry Christmas lass!! 😃
Merry Christmas! May the consumerism spirit always protect us!
The spirit of consumerism is it last hope!! 😃😃
I laughed at how fast you moved from sarcasm to something genuinely real. Between the consumerism, shiny toys, and disappearing batteries, that resigned humor hits hard. And that “I think I am” at the end says more than any long Christmas speech.
Thank you! It was quite a day!
Merry Christmas to you @meesterboom, enjoy the rest of the day as you celebrate 🥳🥂🥳.
Thank you! I certainly shall and I hope you do too 🙂
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🤣That wrapping paper carnage and battery raid sounds all too familiar, pure holiday chaos vibes. Cheers to you and the whole brood 🤶🎄
It sounds like a great day with the family
I wish you a happy new year