Falling Down

It was in the shady depths of Discord that Prawny of the Shits approached me. First, it was a friend request which I gladly accepted. After all, who could refuse a username like Prawny of the Shits?

It didn't take long before they messaged. Note I use the non-gender specific pronoun here as I had not enough information to glean their down below parts, although, given that there was prawn in their username I was tempted to believe they could be a lady.

It was deductive powers like these that led me to be considered once as one of the most eminent lawmen in the courts of the land.

But that was before the accident.

I digress.

Is Hive going to Zero?

Prawny of the Shits typed with a mournful air.

No, you are just being an arse.

I replied kindly.

But look at the price, I am looking at a loss in my investment. They said it would never go below 25 cents and I bought in at that. Now look.

Prawny's message creaked with the weight of self-pity.

It's a tough old bike to ride my friend but sometimes you go up hills as well as down.

I clapped myself on the back for my incredibly uplifting philosophising.

I dunno, I think Hive is dead.

Prawny muttered damply in the squalid discordian depths.

Maybe you're dead.

I offered cheerily.

It's dead. I should just power down and make out before it goes to zero.

Prawny no doubt started fondling himself at the thought of all his Hive riches being converted to BTC.

Listen, Prawny. It is going to be ok, ok?

I typed. After all, I was a parent, I knew what it was like when one of the kids was scared of shitting the bed. It was important that they knew that even if they did, it would be ok but equally important that it was going to be ok regardless.

How can you know?

I fancied I could almost hear a forlorn ache in that question. It reminded me of a pet chicken eating Scampi Bites whilst watching Finding Nemo.

This is crypto baby. That's how. You gotta wear the spurs and whisper in the horse's ear if you are in crypto. That's how you get through these times.

Not a piebald horse though, I thought grimly. Not after the last time.

They say in the past it went down to seven cents? What if it does that again?

Prawny wailed and nashed his teeth in anguish at the very thought of cheap cheap hive.

Well, if that is the case we will have to pay 50 Hive for our Skinny Latte's. No biggy.

I winced slightly at the thought, I mean, I would pay 50 Hive for a Flat White but not a Skinny Latte.

Maybe I should just ask the Wife. Maybe she will know what to do.

Prawny pulled out the Wife card and slapped it down in our chat where it lay, quivering with jelly-like menace.

I took a deep breath in through gritted teeth.

If you ask your wife she will tell you to pack it all in and then you will be one of those Hivers that make posts in a year's time about how they wished they had never quit and now they are trying to rebuild their stake but it's too late.

Somehow I conveyed deep sincerity even over the medium of text.

You reckon? You know what, fuck it. I will stay strong and hang in there. Thanks man. Come on Hive, we can do this!

Prawny's status changed to offline.

I leaned back in my chair and sighed happily before reaching out and picking up the big red telephone besides my desk.

Hello. Hive Central Command? Yes, it's Boomy. I have pulled another one back from the brink.

There was a click and a metallic voice responded.

Thank you Boomy, we have added another 100 hives to your reward tally. Carry on.

I hung up. My dicord pinged with another wayward soul losing their way.

I chuckled, that was six so far today.

No rest for the wicked!