Boss

I sat at my desk sipping a coffee. The office was quiet. Peaceful.

Ahhh.

I sighed contentedly.

BoomDawg!

Oh bugger, El Jefe had materialised out of nowhere and was stomping toward me. He had a peculiar look on his face as if he had just been told the chicken in his soup was actually testicles.

Buenas dias tonto!

I said mustering up some false cheer.

El Jefe stopped short.

Pardon?

I blinked reassuringly a couple of times.

I said 'Good morning friend' in Spanish.

He frowned, his brain sloshing around in his head like a rat in a bin full of water.

What can I do for you today then?

I asked kindly.

I need to speak with you. Come with me.

Oh oh, he didn't seem to be full of his usual malicious cheer. This might not bode well. I got up and followed him to one of the meeting rooms. Inside he sat down heavily and creased his brow whilst I sat across from him.

We sat in silence for a moment whilst he chewed imaginary figs.

Then he spoke.

There are big changes afoot.

He said heavily.

Hmm, this definitely did not sound good.

Are there?

I replied. I put on my best team player face. It makes me look like a cat that is getting its chin tickled. It seems to convey the right amount of gravitas for these kinds of situations.

Yes. Big changes.

He took a deep breath.

I winced. It's never a sign when your boss takes a deep breath like that. I wondered if I had done something wrong. Was I for the high jump? Was El Jefe about to tell me to Fuck off, we don't need your sort around here?

He leaned forward with an intense look as if trying to get the last beans out of a tin.

The thing I need to know, BoomDawg... Are you with us?

What? Are you with us? What the fuck was that meant to mean? Was he going to kill me if I said no? I am pretty sure that's not on. I had a quick scan of the floor to make sure it wasn't covered in plastic sheeting.

It wasn't.

Still. In situations like this, it pays to be on your guard. I started scanning the meeting room for weapons and potential attack vectors.

El Jefe sniffed and waved a hand at his face as if the flies were back.

We need to shake things up. Are you ready?

There it was again. Another strange open ended question. Ready for what? Was he going to try to seduce me? Inwardly I lamented my thoroughness when wiping after the morning poo.

Yes... I am always ready.

I ventured, hoping against hope that things weren't about to get all fondley.

He nodded, allowing a brief smile to play across his face.

Good. Good. I will cut to the chase then. We are restructuring. You are going to have to take on a bit more... Responsibility...

He examined me closely to see what effects his words had.

Ok...

I said slowly.

We are taking on a lot more trainees. You are going to have to lead a small team. I will assign several of them to you. Temporary at first, just to see how it goes. We are talking line management here, you get me?

Oh. Line management responsibilities you say?

He grunted and shifted in his seat as if the very idea made his piles throb.

Yes. Line management.

So I will be the boss then?

He looked annoyed.

No. You will not be THE boss.

He sputtered.

Ah sorry, crossed wires. I am not the boss then.

He looked out the window and then back to me.

Well, you will be the boss... Kind of, for these guys.

He grated.

Oh! So I am the boss?

He shook his head like a dog eating salt beef.

No. You are not the boss. I'm the boss.

Ah right. I am the boss of these new guys though?

I said with a gigantic grin.

Well... I suppose that is what I am saying, yes.

He harrumphed and picked something off his shoe.

Right, I will sort out the details and talk to you later.

He stood and made toward the door shaking his head.

I chuckled and leaned back in my seat with my arms folded behind my head.

I'm the boss.

I said out loud.

He knows it.

He's always known it.