I mean, ah don't know about you but am kinda glad to be back!
I glared at the speaker like a cat would at a wet leather shoe. Was he for real? Could this dude really be standing in front of me claiming that he was glad to be back in work whilst I was slumped at my desk like a slowly deflating balloon of sadness?
I'm not. I hate working. It's shit.
Johnny Worklover shook his head at my folly and trotted off to get held down by a farmer and shorn of his wool like the other sheep.
I humphed and pushed things about on my messy desk sulkily. First day back at work and already about ten people had told me how glad they were to be back.
To cheer myself up I decided to go to the gym at lunchtime.
Whilst I was masturbating my arms on the bicep curl a girl from my Department came over with a big grin on her face.
Hey hey boom dawg! Happy New Year!
And a Happy New Year to you too.
She looked at my pulsating biceps then at my handsome face.
You hitting it hard to lose the baby weight then?
The fucking what? Did she just say that I, Captain Adonis had baby weight?!? I shook my jowly face in irritation.
Oh you know, just getting back into it.
I forced a grin and tried not to make it a fuck you one.
She winked at me.
We should chum up some lunchtimes. It's boring working out yourself. Sometimes you need someone else to give you that push eh?
My flirty flirty radar suddenly twitched and when I say flirty flirty radar I mean my penis. What the bloody hell? Was she putting the moves on the boomster? Was this how it started? One minute we would be working out in the gym together and next minute there would be jizzum and fanny juice flying around a hotel room like spilled drinks in the International Space Station?
Well, not on my watch missy.
Sounds great, aye.
Said my mouth, which seemed to be in cahoots with my treacherous penis.
Cool, I will ping you, we can set something up!
She flounced off. All hair and tight lycra.
I harrumphed like a small pony having it's mane brushed too roughly. Baby weight? Gym dates? Hmmph, fuck off to the pair of them.
Haha 😂 that is really something else, the gym is toture! I prefer to just play sports, no more boring gym for me lol
I quite like it normally!
I hope lady Boom isn't reading this, or you may find yourself pummelled with a shitty manly stick when you get home and be left to sleep outside in the garage! lol
HEhe, I always tell her when someone comes sniffing!! :O)
I would be sharpening that stick if that were my hubby... lol
Hopefully for the woman! lol
haha xD That depends...
lol!
Hilarious! Does this new contact mean you will be burning shoe leather getting to the gym everyday? Just for motivation, of course!
Of course! My motivation will be rock hard! :0D
Holaaa, amigoo, Feliz año nuevo, no te preocupes por lo que te aya dicho la chica, disfruta feliz jajaja, seguro que quería que la cargaras para ver si eres fuerte o no. hahaha. Saludos amigo cuidate.
hola hola hola amiga ¡¡feliz Año Nuevo para usted!! No me preocupo por sus palabras locas. jeje: 0)
tiene que decirle a la chica a palabras necias oídos sordos, hahaha, Saludos y abrazos a la familia.
Lo haré; 0) saludos y abrazos al tuyo también!
Hoooo, NOoooo, Because women always use that expression when you have just become a father, or you can not have a few kilos for the abuse of pasta or the excessive consumption of beer, why should it be related to the pregnancy of our wife?
Good thing you take advantage of the lunch schedule to attend the gymnastics congratulations for this determination.
A great story dear friend, very funny.
I wish you a wonderful afternoon dear friend @meesterboom
I know, some things should be saved. A man's body should never be derided thus!!!
I will never be out of the gym now ;0)
Omg, this is so hilarious, I used to hate going back to work after a holiday and everyone was so pumped to be there, like what are you people crazy?! LOL as i kept reading and got to your workout, that is when my pc got soaked lol I spit my tea out I laughed so hard, glad i happened upon this one for sure omg thank you!
Hehe, Cheers!
I have found it quite ridiculous the number of people who are relieved that such a tortuous thing as a holiday is over!! Madness!!
Myself I would much rather spend time with the ones I love that's for sure!
My thoughts exactly!!! Anything else doesn't make sense!
We'll need a follow-up to this story, please, boom. WIll she actually ping or not ping? Inquiring minds...lol
Haha. I am kinda hoping she doesn't. I think we might though. Yeek!! And you know me, I always follow up! :0D
Hahaha, looks like the boom is getting negged.
I'm not sure what sort of psychotic institution you're working for, but not a single person has told me they're glad to be back at work... do you work for a Jumping Castle Chocolate Factory? Why on Earth do these people hate their home lives so much?
I really don't know! I mean, it's not even that pleasant a place to work! Do you would think everyone would be feeling rubbish but the majority seem to be cock-a-hoop to be back. I can't understand it!!
Maybe they all spent their Christmas break locked in Iron Maidens, or trapped in a snake pit or had to spend time with their own kids.
I have to admit, baby weight is an odd tease... pudding weight I can totally understand.. but you clearly weren't just born. Also, your images are excellent!
I think she was being funny because our baby is only a few months old. Is normally something that is said to women!!
That's it, she is dead!
I was a teacher and always hated those great to be back-to-workers, especially when they added, because I love my students so much. Argh! I. hated every minute of work, but ah, bliss, I am now retired, life can be a dream, da da da da, da da da da dah, da
Ah, so envious!!!
I don't know what it is with them at times. I think they think they are impressing someone but it's mental. I feel like whacking them!
I always felt they had nothing to go home to, they were all poor miserable saps who were we’re escaping some horrible life back home, and that they were people who found a desk more comfortable than a couch.
I think that is exactly it. They are the ones who talk about their partners really disparagingly and moan about their kids. If your life is that shit just change it I say!
Dangerous territory Mr. Boom! Red Alert! Red Alert! Torpedo coming your way...
Don't worry, is not the first time someone has attempted to rob me of my fantastic sperms with their wanton ways!!
I peed a little from laughing so hard ... I have nothing witty to add ... this is standup comedy right there.
Lol, Cheers!! It fair Cheers me up when I wrote it down!
lol!
what's this?
hahaha .. you're back to work this soon!
that sucks chico!
next time, you should bring a mirror and whoever says that to you ask them if they've seen themselves on one and if not you have one with you ..
why can't some people just say something positive to everyone instead of always throwing a beautifully paraphrased mud on another person's face
now, do you mind if I play shake it off? :D I know you hate Taylor but I think you could use her song this time
and I don't mean the jizzum :P
hahahaah
I know, back already. It's rubbish!!
Hehe, I am shaking it off. Ooer, and I mean in a Taylor way :0D
I knew when I read the title that I should be smart and drink my tea before reading ... and I was right (saved the keyboard from yet another soaking!) ... lol. This one really cracked me up!
It was a little risque today, I must have been containing myself over the break lol!!
We will all expect a full, blow by blow,( whichever way you like) dairy of the poor, innocent young father being seduced by the tight lycra,( that bounces so beautifully as she walks away)
I think it could be called wishful thinking
Now wishful thinking. Could it be that? Hmm, there might be a distinct possibility. Although I am a finely finned fish as they say! ;O)
Happy to be back to work...hm, can't help but think people who feel that way have thoroughly screwed up on the homefront, or baah indeed! Haha!
Can't she see the ring? Little tramp. LOL
I think they have screwed up on the homefront as well!! I love my home life, I dont want to be fecking off for ten hours at a time!
Hehe, maybe I was reading things into it but ya never know!
with steem on the rise now .. and yes that's our daily topic :D .. you won't need to deal with shit work, and you can tell el jeffe to kiss where the sun don't shine while you put your feet up and enjoy your crypto gains ! :D
HEhem I am certainly going to enjoy things for a while and see how the land lies!
Its a good daily topic!
Myself went to work today and with the big movements in the cryptocurrency market I barely made it till the end of the day. The year started very promising and a new confirmation of the blockchain power was proven. At least you had some fine out of the work you did together with some funny colleagues...
The crypto movement was quite gripping. There is more fun ahead I am sure!!
Everyone has a work flirt, maybe she is the one. But I wouldn't trust anyone from a place where apparently most people are happy to be back to work - feels like the Truman Show if you ask me. Have you tried seeing if you are, in fact, the center of a show where most of the world is watching unbeknownst to you?
I have long believed it to be so. My good lady insists I have some sort of complex. I of course believe she is wrong or has been prompted to say such things.
:OD
she is part of it.....
Ha!, at first I thought this was aaaall about those terrible humans who like to get back to work after a holiday (can't believe they exist, but hmm, what can we do) but then... HAHAHA I wasn't expecting that! Be careful there on the gyyyym, now that lycra girl will be on the lookout like a predator with its prey :O
I think she might!
Yes it's a collision of two stories! Originally I was just going to write about the annoying happy to be back people. Then the gym happened :0)
@meesterboom
Really enjoyed that piece and your social commentary in general!
You capture some of those everyday moments and the thoughts we all try to hide perfectly and with a light comedic touch 👏
I’d be grateful to know what you think of my work?
Warrior Crypto Poet
Thank you very much. I will have a look you warrior crypto poet you!
Wow you should put the results you have in the gym and so encourage us to get in also ;)
Haha, I fear it would set the ladies hearts fluttering too much!!
Will you tell about that the good lady? :) Of course without going into details about the reaction of flirty flirty radar.
Haha, I might. It depends on how stupid I am feeling. I do take some silly notions. For thee moment I will keep schtum though lol!!
This is very thin ice, my friend :) Strange but women use reverse logic in this matter. If she tells you about some cowboy who was flirting with her at work- it's Ok, she just reminds you how great she is (it's true. she is great!). But in our case, such a story can lead to amputation of the bells, depending on her mood. And only after, she will find this other woman and rip her throat... but this will not return your masculinity.
Oh I know, that's whit I usually fess up by acting outrages that someone had the temerity to approach me thus. I will let a couple of days of them show her the blog lol. Laughter soothes the savage beast! :0D
Haha I bet she has no idea the effect she has had on you lol!
Love it! Great post!
Thank you very much! I shall deny any effect on me ;0)
Yah totally didn't phase ya :p Just deny deny deny!
;0)
Who could blame her!? I mean look at those pecs, and those dreamy pools where your eyes should be. Don't get me started with that smile that could launch a thousand warships!
Seriously though, that fatherhood aura is still in play, what more now that you're a twice father! Double the daddy mmm mmm! Where was I again? Oh right the baby fat. With the good lady on a collision course with the red tent, I imagine Daddy Day Care would be paying off in terms off calories burned.
Ah is that what it is. The delicious musky scent of fatherhood twice over! I thought it was because I hadn't showered. :OD
Well, that too. You can never hold on to the scent if you wash yourself. Is that why showering was invented? To combat the threat of overpopulation?
I think it is exactly why it was invented! Never mind those greasy sheaths that hold it back. Just don't wash!!
For the love of the guy whose responsibility it is to paint the "Population" sign in the city limits, ladies restrain your baginas when you catch a whiff of a two-day old non-wash!
Hehe, oh that's funny!!
You know what's not funny? VD :/
gotta watch them sly types fattery will get them more gym participants...oops did I say fattery?...I meant flattery...lol
upvoted and resteemed
Fattery will!! :O)
The description of a romantic liaison!!!!! Seriously no thanks.
Lol, didn't it paint quite the scene!! ;0)
TMI!!!
An impressive story... Thanks for sharing my friend ! I hope you will continue to share like this @meesterboom
Why have you blocked my interpretation? Can I learn... @meesterboom
You didn't vote for the post but you voted for your own comment. That is spammy
I have been in the steemit family for about 2 weeks. I did not know it was a rule. I am sorry, sir... @meesterboom
It's not a rule but if you comment and don't vote it looks like you are fishing for a comment upvote like a spammer. Something to keep in mind
I did not realize it..After that my thoughts and behaviors will change with what you say.I apologize once again for the behavior I have made inconsiderate, sir..I hope you forgive me. :(( @meesterboom
That's cool, all is forgiven :0)
I am awful when it comes to motivating myself and always just give up after a week. I've now started working out with my friend (who is a proper gym bunny) in the garden doing HIIT and I finally realised that it can be fun! I think working out with a good friend who will motivate you is a great alternative if you can't afford a personal trainer! I'm really hoping I stick to it this time
No vote= spam comment
Because it looks like a real comment I won't flag it this time
Upvote and resteem done done.
That's a big picture
Thanks for sharing o am also struggling with weight loss
Eat less. You will be laughing
wau very exciting story @meesterboom
Splendid!
very good post, but a lot of misinterpretation after reading your post. @meesterboom
It is written in a particular style which did not lend itself well to translation!
yes my friend understand @meesterboom
thank you
Upvote and done resteem @mesterboom
Good man!
Thank you so much.
@mesterboom thanks you!
Upvote,resteemit complete
Excelle_t!
I finally realized that it can be Hilarious!after reading your post.
@upvoted and @resteemed
Thank you
Thanks for the goof laugh
Hahaha this is great. Sounds like she wants that push eh...
It seemed a little like that! :O)
Not sure if you saw this, but I know you were listed as a sponsor for this project:
https://steemit.com/steempark/@jeffjagoe/visiting-steem-park-in-brooklyn-ny-an-epic-start-to-2018
Here, that's excellent. I hadn't saw it actuall!! Looks great
Funny with some serious action
I like your because of its humours
Thank you for this blog
Its really very real