Almost hesitantly, I pushed open the door and stepped through into the Beer Shop.
Hello. Have you come to look at my beers?
A young lady said from behind the counter.
I squinted at her in the poor light. A lady? Not a man? Not a Bear-Man? Perhaps then, a Bear-Lady?
She was very small.
As my thoughts churned the Bear-Lady smiled sweetly at me and waved her arm at the beers on display.
I let out a slight whuff of surprise as if I were an old leather chair which someone had ingloriously thumped their bahookie down upon.
Finally, I could buy my glorious beers again. And such beers! There were all manner of delights displayed before me. Exotically flavoured stouts and fruity concoctions that would not be out of place in a Lady of the Night's party parlour.
I shook my head in wonder at it all.
Fuck you Corona Virus 19 or whatever the hell you were calling yourself.
I finally had my beer shop back.
Everything was going to be OK.
I could feel myself getting all Justin Timberlake of the hips and had to keep a stern hold of them so they didn't gyrate me into some kind of trouble.
I picked up a couple of interesting beers. These looked bloody fine to me.
Game on.
I took them to the till.
The Bear-Lady looked at the cans and then said brightly.
Good choice! That will be TEN POUNDS PLEASE.
I flinched a little at her slightly insane shouting and held out my coin for her to take.
She picked the coins from my hand and looked at them in disgust.
That's not real money?!
She flung the coins back at me and frowned fiercely as if there were a curly black hair in her soup.
It is real money.
I said flatly, picking the coins up and pushing them back at her whilst giving her the stern eye.
What!?
She said incredulously.
She picked up a coin and bit into it with a mad growling noise as if she were a dog with an itchy bum in a garden full of soft grass.
This is plastic money. I want real money. Ten pounds, NOW!
She reached out and grabbed my beers and bundled them close to her chest,
Right you, give me my flipping beers. They're mine. I'm not giving you a tenner for them.
I said firmly to the little Bear-Lady.
No Daddy. You aren't getting them unless you pay me my money. Now, GET OUT OF MY SHOP!
The Little Lady stamped her foot, looking most cross and pointed at the door of the living room.
It's just a game lass, remember?
I said reaching out for my beer.
Hmmph. This game is rubbish. I'm going to my room. You can play all by yourself.
The Little Lady stomped out of the room.
I looked after her, perplexed. Something was tickling at the back of my head. Then it struck.
HEY! BRING ME BACK THOSE BEERS!
Lol. They closed the liquor stores down here. Well for 2 hours.
That's not so bad if it's a partial closure! I can still get them in supermarkets but they are only letting in 5 people at a time
Sounds like you're managing to cope. Guess what I have on hand for tomorrow, though...
Oooo,looky look! You are sorted them!
The Bear-Man's so used to stock some of them I'm sure!
...and I thought Bear-man was breaking curfew for a sec... phew!
Hehe, he was gone three weeks before the curfew!!!
I think I will have to break it soon. Supplies are running low!!
@abh12345 is getting them wierd beers delivered, could be the future!
I got a whole crate delivered last Friday. It was awesome, what a state I was in on Sunday though!!
Hahahaha..., I can't get the beer I like in Tesco.. shelves are empty.. just Kestral and Skol left.
Soon the day will come when we will have to resort to them. Then we will know we are truly fecked!!
They announced that all liquor stores would close in my city… so the entire city went out to buy liquor at the same time. Approximately 2 hours later they were like, okay, we won't close the liquor stores, please maintain social distancing :D
Haha, there is nothing like the chance of not getting any to make people panic and run out to buy!!
Right? Whoever made that decision clearly wasn't thinking.
Or maybe they were and they just wanted a window to have a clear run at the shops themselves!
Next time, rob her store. Just try it, see what happens.
I don't think I am ready for all Ocean of tears and the potential stabbing I might get!!
Hmmm. This is true. And could get ugly. Maybe try paying with a pudding cup.
Goodness, I hope that's not a euphemism!!! :0D
Oh shit. I hope not, too.
Wahahaha!!!
Thank you for putting a link to described a word that I would not have understood: bahoukie
I thought it might be handy. It's a fair good Scottish word that one!! :0)
In Canada, beer, wine and liquor were all considered essential services. All stores are open, but reduced their hours to close at 6PM.
I am definitely not complaining.
Alas, I was in Italy when they locked down the borders. I got out on the last train. (The train literally stopped at the first stop in Switzerland, police got on and removed all Italian citizens and returned them to Italy). I have 3 more days left of isolation before I can level up to social distancing.
Levelling up is what its all about! I wonder who or what the end of level baddie will be for each of us!
Our shops are mostly closed about 8'oclock but they have instilled such fear into us we are all scared to go to them!
Hahaha, smart move of her. Get some real money into the game! Guess you can still buy the cans back. With real dough of course. 😁
I made a splendid compromise. She settled for two pounds. Lol, I win!!
Don't play shop too often with stuff she knows you will want buy back for real money. 😉
You had to haggle right? 😄
Oh the hagging was fierce. Lol. Alright then, it wasn't really.
The plastic money has always worked before trough, we could be in Uncharted waters!
Next time she might ask to play music store. Where you can buy guitars n stuff... 😄🎸
We not only had fake money, but also fake products. Buy some in a toystore, it'll save a lot of real money. 😄👌
Haha! I wouldn't put it past her! And the savings... :0D
So cute - I was wondering if you are out of your houses already. We are on lock down for 3 weeks starting today... I hope everybody listens because we have some trouble makers. It irritates me - the longer we do not stay in our homes the longer we will have to stay . But no, always selfish people.... How can you expect to get real beer with plastic money?? The little lady is clever
We are on the lockdown too. I am lucky in the beer front because I bought a wodge in advance!
It is grim though eh? All these people ignoring it are just adding to the problem. Although in saying that, since the official lockdown has started people have been much better here. Or prime minister has it now!
I saw that - yes i think it will get better but these 18-20 year old kids and especially the black ones with the mentality that they are invincible and the world owes them something are the trouble makers. They have too many rights with no responsibilities - think the police must give them a good hiding and make and example but in this country where most are so over sensitive Police brutality news will overshadow the virus.... I really hope everybody starts to listen - I do not want to sit in my house for 3 weeks for nothing.
It works be a terrible thing of it was a wasted three weeks and everyone had to do it all again for maybe even longer.
Let's hope the naughty pups get a hold of themselves or someone gets a hold of them and makes them see sense
It seems I will check my dictionary what a bear-man means
You might not find it!
I always go to a beer shop on a Friday and the guy that owns it is a big Bear of a man. So I call him the Bear-Man as a play on beer man and bear man :0)
Oh now I understand
Hahaa...the Little Lady makes off with the beers and the money...that's one smart cookie ya got there.
Hehe, the things you have to do to keep them occupied when in lockdown. She is a cheeky monkey!!
I am sensing you must be a great writer in your youthful age
Maybe not as youthful as I would like ;0)
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Bahookie..lol. Strange and interesting artwork here sir meesterboom! As well as a great story of course, out-smarted by the Little Lady!
The tiger! Lol. I couldn't find a bear one!
funny the lady, what is plastic money what is real money
Plastic coins, currency of children everywhere! :0)