I appreciate your ability to understand others. It's so easy to go defensive and rejective, since in a relationship it's natural to feel yourself responsible for your partners feelings. Of course both are responsible for their actions, which bring up emotions and that way makes one "responsible" for them, whether you like it or not. But just like you said, it's just how they feel and that's it -they don't choose it and then you have got to figure out what to do, which requires communication..