Some of you knew, some of you didn't. But the old lady, @kotturinn, has been out of the country visiting her family and friends throughout Crimea, Russia (previously of Ukraine, but no longer!). If you follow her, you'd have seen a bit of her travels. If you don't follow her, you might enjoy changing that.

Anyways, being the terrible and cruel husband that I am, I forced her to bring me many items back from her travels otherwise I would divorce her. So out of fear, she obliged.

LET'S REVIEW THE ITEMS!

ITEM #1: LOTS OF MY FAVORITE CRIMEAN WINE!

Inkerman's most baller red wine, Cabernet Kachinskoe. My select drink when visiting Crimea. If you ever visit Crimea, grab some of this and you will get in tune with some of my tastes (which are, by the way, A+).

ITEM #2: WEIRD LIQUOR.

This is Balsam "Krasnaya Polyana," from Sochi, Russia which comes in a super heavy clay jar. It's a really strong herbal liqueur, reminiscent of a Jagermeister that isn't fashioned "for pussies," or for people who cannot channel the spirit of liquor itself. It's also composed of around 32 medicinal herbs. Being currently sick as hell at the moment, I'm using it as an excuse to drink it profusely. I am currently drunk.

So not technically from baby girl herself, it shall suffice. Her uncle Sergey and his wife, Valentina, dropped this in her luggage for me. I love those folks, they're some serious family people that makes me wish that I had people like that in my immediate family. They're always on point when it comes to sending cool liquor, which is practically a ritual there when visiting/departing. GOTTA GET AND GIVE SOME GOOD LIQUOR OR ELSE YOU'RE EXCOMMUNICATED FROM THE FAMILY.

ITEM #3: COFFEE CANDY FROM THE PRESIDENT OF UKRAINE.

Ann ( @kotturinn ) claims that this coffee candy that I like was gifted to me from the president of Ukraine himself. Side Note: He owns Roshen. These are strange toffee encased coffee flavored candy things. They're good. I like 'em. I eat 'em. You should too if you ever get the chance.

ITEM #4: A BUNCH OF CIGARETTES.

Alright, I don't smoke and I think it's a really fucking bad habit that no one should take up unless they're keen on dying earlier that they most likely would have, smelling like shit, being gross, etc. But sometimes, when you're in/involved super deep with Russian folks, you're gonna get gifted liquor and smokes. It's just the way of the road, the way she goes and will probably always go. They like their vices, but who is the master of those vices set the men apart from the boys. E.g. who can responsibly indulge VS who gets eaten alive. It's like an evolutionary toy to them. If you ever want to find some truly intelligent human beasts that have risen above, look no further than Russian culture.

Side note: These were also from Sergey and Valentina.

ITEM #5: PINE TREE CLIPPINGS AND A CONE ENCASED IN HONEY?

Some Russian pine tree clippings with a pine cone encased in honey? Yep, that's what you're looking at. I think that they added some green food coloring to make people more impulsively be like "Woah, look at this shit, it is SO pined out! We're gonna buy it!" Tastes like honey! Guess it's honey. Cool!

ITEM #6: JAM MADE FROM . . . ROSE PETALS?

Straight up rose petal jam. Jam that is made out of rose petals. Tastes like roses. Smells like roses. Strangely "good." Dunno what I'd eat it on, but it's cool. I might just wind up being weird and taking little scoops out of it from time to time and eating it by itself. Any of you guys know wtf to put rose jam on?!

ITEM #7: POMEGRANATE SYRUP FROM AZERBAIJAN.

Now this is a serious jewel. Some pomegranate syrup from Azerbaijan. Imagine straining a ton of pomegranates and boiling it down into a delicious syrup. That is this and it rules. I keep dipping my finger into it (secretively) and eating it like a complete caveman. I dunno what to put this on, but it's good. I'll probably just continue being a weirdo and eating it solo in small doses, in hiding of course because I don't want to be called out for being a freak.

ITEM(S) #8: AFTERSHAVE THAT YOU CAN'T BUY IN THE USA, SOAP, SOME DELICIOUS SPICES, BLUEBERRY CHOCOLATE BAR, RUSSIAN SUNFLOWER SEEDS, SOME FAUX-MEXICAN SUNFLOWER SEEDS?, AND FLINT BRAND GRENKI (CRACKERS).

ITEM #9: SOME NEW ZEALAND CHOCOLATE.

This one was sent back by Ann's friend from Crimea, who now lives in New Zealand, who just so happened to be visiting Crimea at the same time as Ann. Haven't tried this yet, but it sounds kinda interesting. White chocolate with apple and vanilla? Sure, why not!

So that's about it. THE END. Wife is back to the homestead. I'm no longer AS stir-crazy. No divorce took place. Life resumes!

If you haven't already, do the entire Steem(it) platform a huge deserved favor and vote @agoric.systems (my elite collective) as your witness! If you need help doing this, please inquire in the comments below, I read them all and will reply accordingly. I live to serve/help!

Overrrr and out!

--- @MATT-A / @agoric.systems