Agree with you on this one. Being dependable and blaming your partner for the way you feel and react is wrong on every level. I would add - trying to change other person. One can never do that and that can only end as a catastrophy - all you can do is change - and improve - yourself. And if your relationship doesn’t make you happy - move on and find somebody more compatible.
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Your statement makes me think of the way my relationship had been going. My relationship had been in the way of me growing. I was trying to help somebody else grow. The growing for both of us didn't occur until we took a break in our relationship in order to center ourselves individually. We are back together now, and everything is remarkable. We both learned to accept each other and know that we're both growing and we have our own paths that will be entwined, but not identical.