Dude. I am dealing with about 5% of what you are dealing/have dealt with.
And it's really hard.
My dad has a form of dementia now, and he is like a child, and is far more pleasant now than he has ever been. Which I suppose should be a bonus, but in some ways it is worse.
I know - I absolutely know - that I could not do what you are doing, and when I read about someone with your strength, I feel a mixture of awe and inadequacy.
I am not sure how you have processed all this so philosophically. I will return to this article and read it again, the next time I am feeling sorry for myself for having to deal with my dad's shit.
Best of luck with all of it.
I'm sorry to hear about your dad's dementia. That's really tough. All that you can do is our best and nothing more. I'm far from perfect. We all have different strengths and weaknesses. Focus on your strengths and work on your weaknesses. That's what I try to do. I hope that this is helpful and that you find comfort.
Actually, it isn't so bad as it stands. He is easier to be around, and doesn't seem to be suffering. He has never been a very nice man, and this version of him is less unpleasant than the real him.
You're right about the strength/weakness thing. Too many of us lack the ability to deal with our weaknesses - they are buried and constantly trip us up, often with collateral damage.
Thanks for the kind words.