Sometimes I feel my heart ...

Sometimes I feel my heart ready to explode. As if it were a love affair in my chest that I struggle to stop him from flowing freely outside. I've had the sensation several times, in revealing moments, that my greatest fear is to let my love flow outside. Because the love flowing through me (and through each of us!) Is so strong that it scares the shit out of me! I feel that my greatest gift is love. Deep down, I long to love, to linger, to treat with my whole being everything that exists. But the idea that I would allow myself to do it ... like full power ... it blows off all my mind and power of control over my life ... and that's extremely scary ... who knows what I could Do and where would I get if I would allow myself to love anyone and anything? I imagine you would float like a leaf in the wind or a butterfly, sitting on the flowers, popping from place to place, more, less, flying further, following my heart. And my heart has some horsepower ... and if I do that where do I get it ??

Yeah, sure it's nice and artistic to be a windy leaf, worn by the whispers of the heart ... but totally unsafe (tells me a scared voice from the background).
It is clear that I would not have any plans and I could not know what it would be and I could not promise anything and I would not be able to commit to other people (it's stupid and I hate it Anywayz) ... and already my mind is crazy on the plain running after the destroyed safety. I would be like a gipsy ... wondering around, no home, no commitment, no promises, no possesions ... no nothing.

But something in me is calling me. Something in me still thinks it's fascinating to be so free, to have nothing and to be nobody! Be completely spontaneous and you have no idea what you are going to do and what you want to do tomorrow. WOW! It sounds ... soo fucking FREE! I totally want to try that.

Several times, during my life, I got to this point and I said STOP. My mind convinced me it was not good. Just go back to the comfort zone, ignore the silly heart ... they're just stupid things anyway. What could be good to do all sorts of crazy stuff that you feel like doing? You can not trust these spontaneous desires. They come and go anyway ... I wait a little longer and pass.
And I closed my heart and went back to my super "safe" cage.

And then how is it? How can you follow your heart ... from all your heart? :)
How do you know if you do exactly what you feel every time (something that in my view is to be true to yourself, that is true to yourself) you will not get hurt, alone, untrustworthy, disloyal, totally unhappy and fucking up All your life for all eternity ??? How can you trust that if you open your palms and you let go of what you're holding you will not lose everything you have and you will not get anything in return? How can you leave the past without knowing what it will be, throwing yourself naked, without any promise, no expectation, just because the heart is calling you gently to do it?

Well ... you can not "know" ... you will never know unless you try. You can risk or live in a safe, but lacking sparkle. Because the heart is the only one that can give the light. Your life, without love, can only be a black-and-white copy of a vibrant, colorful universe. You can feel "safe" in your golden and "safe" cage, or you can go out, let your love flow, let yourself be carried by the wind, become a butterfly.

As Osho once said (paraphrase ... hard :))):
Just touch and let go! Touch and let go! Touch and let go! This is the dance of life!

Open your fists, let go of what you keep, stretch your palms and let your love flow through them.

And this may mean not wasting your time building houses, careers, the future, it may mean you will not shut down, not make promises, stop selling, do not "fix" yourself, not stop Laws, no longer having any beliefs about who you are, no longer having certainties, not wanting to know what is going on, what it will be, what it is and what it is not ... not to want to know anymore. Being who you are, doing what you want, being true to your self. Being completely selfish, that is to live your life only as you want it! To say YES from all your heart to everything that comes into your life! To say yes to everything that scares you! Be fragile and sensitive! Be a butterfly!

So be a butterfly! Fly where you feel! Wait as much as you can! Fly away!

Be at the same time a flower! Let the butterflies sit down on you! Do not try to catch them, make them yours, keep them forever! Love every butterfly (every moment) let it sit freely, enjoy it as long as he wants to stay with you! Be just an empty and open space where the butterflies come and go.

Do not try to put happiness in a bottle that you have for your whole life. Do not try to make everything last forever. Do not hold tight the things that you're afraid of losing. Stop clinging to anything. You have everything you need! You are a whole! The rest is just your reflection! You have nothing to lose! You are ALL what exists!

So let go of the tramp, let the life flow through you! Get it back to life! Be open and free! Be what you want to be at every moment! Be alive!

And the truth is that I want to love, feel, touch, live, want to sing, dance, experience, laugh, be. And above all I want to LOVE! And I will! And I DO!

And I still want to remind you of LOVE! I want to remind you that I love you from the soul and invite you to open our hearts together.

So right now, sit down for a moment, close your eyes, breathe and ask frankly and openly: what does my heart really, really want? Wait a minute and the answer will come! If not now, maybe later, maybe tomorrow. Guidance will come to you, often on unexpected paths. You will feel like doing something, act, leave something behind, start something new, talk to someone, make a phone call, go to the world, start drawing, play, run, get yourself Express yourself, say what you feel, move, read a book, get out of the house, get out of the comfort zone. Maybe you will have a dream, maybe you will meet someone you resonate with, who will tell you something important, maybe you will have an impulse to do something. Maybe you will. Perhaps you will have repetitive thoughts with an idea. The voice that guides you to do these little things (and that may seem somewhat meaningless and unrelated to what you first wanted) is a delicate and delicate voice. The voice of the heart speaks in a whim. And it is often destroyed in two strokes and three movements of the artegoxist voice and (seemingly) sure of her mind. The mind will tell you that it is useless, it's absurd to do that, what the mother says, that your lover will upset, you will hurt / disappoint / consort everyone and you will remain alone and broke and miserable!

But do not be discouraged! Just open up and listen. Be present every minute and you will know what are the mind games and not. Any thought that creates only tension, restlessness and panic comes from the mind. Any thought that creates joy, enthusiasm and smile is a message of the heart. Note these messages. Make a diary. Find out what your heart whispers. Then follow your impulses! It works!

And with the action will come the enthusiasm, the spontaneity, the sensuality, the heat from the chest, the vibration, the energy and the joy of living! And so much love that you will be a cascade of light above the world!