I live a strange life, which is why I've gone MIA the past few weeks. I have really come to enjoy being alone, and quite frequently I find it a challenge to put my consistent epiphanies and insights into words to share with others. But this one is different.
I started 2018 off on the right foot; quite literally. I was in a hot yoga class when the clock struck midnight. My face was dripping with sweat when we landed in Warrior pose, and something really beautiful happened. 2017 was a rough year for me, as it was my first year that I entered my bizarre career as an apprentice with plant-based medicine from the Amazon. It was my first glimpse into the actual world of Ayahuasca. Integrating all I had learned into the concrete jungle was a challenge that I failed at on multiple occasions. I can't even count how many tests were thrown my way and how many times I failed. I walked through the valley of my own hell, and to top off a pretty challenging year, I had my heart broken into pieces at the end of it. But here I was, in Warrior pose. Through all the challenges, I survived. It was like the end of a movie; an end to a chapter, and the excitement of finding out what happens next completely overtook me.
The next night during the full moon, I sat in a bathtub full of epsom salt and meditated, feeling out every energetic tug from the tides. It was then that I got an insight that has changed my entire outlook on life; one that I have put into practice every day, which is why I choose to share it.
My job requires me to work around darker energies, which up until recently, has been a struggle. I've come to find that no matter where I go, there are going to be darker energies floating in the air. I can't escape this fact, so I had to find out a way to live among it while not allowing it into my thoughts and sense. For the entire length of my life, drama seemed to follow me everywhere. I've had relationships that I thought were healthy end up being a quicksand of lies and manipulation. I've put myself in situations where my energy is drained and I end up getting hurt.
So, while I'm sitting in the bathtub during the full moon, I had a vision of all these open doors surrounding me. And I received a message from the inner workings of my soul, which wisely told me:
Every situation that you encounter that you don't like and causes negative effects in your life - you invited in.
This lesson goes along the aspect of "don't make yourself the victim," but I do believe that lessons come in spirals. Once you learn a lesson, it will come back around to reveal a deeper meaning. Since that little, life-altering insight, my life has completely undergone one of the most beautiful transformations. Visualizing really helps too. For instance, if I notice someone who has a dramatic life try to push their way into mine, I literally envision me shutting the door on that unwanted energy. The practice of that alone has completely altered my life. For the first time, I'm not giving anyone my power. I don't over-think things that I don't want in my life anymore. I simply shut the damn door. And the result? A life of peace; which I didn't think actually could be maintained until I made it so.
I'm not one for new years resolutions, but I do believe the energy of the full moon really brought in something special for us. At the end of 2017, I was deceived by someone I trusted - the sudden fallout threw me into unknown waters, however, I'm eternally grateful for what happened because the situation empowered me to do these things from here on fourth:
- Make myself a priority
- Refuse to allow toxic people to take away my individual power.
- Shut the doors on anyone who doesn't bring joy and love into my life.
- Spend more time connecting with the people I love.
- Take every challenge life throws and turn it into a tool to get through the next challenge.
I hope everyone is having a wonderful, empowering start to the new year, and I hope you take everything life throws at you and make yourself a beautiful, empowered individual from it.
Much love and respect.
Wow! Great
Great post, Great advice... Always enjoy your blog posts.
wow! interesting story.
In spite of having been passionate about psychedelics, reading reports on erowid and so forth...only tried them last year. And they made me consider so many new point of views in my life that truly made my existence a life. Such amazing tools! I haven't had chance to try Ayahuasca but LSD really helped me a lot as a psychoanalytical tool. Mushrooms too, but in a weird non-direct way, let's say ahah.
So your story does resonate with me. Awareness of what one does and the associations one chooses (because you can choose) are lifechanging and self-love/self-respect make it so that the change it is for the best. Far too many people have suffered and there's some twisted unwillingness to let go of this suffering when it's bound to someone who you have a bond with.
Thanks for you cute wishes towards us and, likewise, wish you the power to become who you really are!
Woow, what an inspiring post. Respect.
Thanks for sharing. Wishing you a wonderful 2018.
Have you had success in finding individuals who always bring love/joy and never bring toxicity? Of course it's a balance, but I'm wondering if you're finding people who meet your balance requirements.
Of course it's a balance, everyone comes with their own baggage. But in the cases of people I love, I have learned to be assertive. But for the most part I have grounded friends who are self-aware and growing, just like me.
Thanks for sharing your story! I need alone time too, I would go crazy without it! Especially living in busy busy China :D
I can't help but see the symbolism in your story when speaking of the warrior pose. Anyway, I too have vowed to close the doors on the negative forces in my life for 2018 as well. Best of luck with the rest of your year.
Good for you. Don't let people steal your joy, peace and positive spirit. It is hard to do, but you are on a good path, hope it takes you far.
It is essential to tapping in to your highest awareness. Oftentimes, people fill their calendars so they won't have to 'be alone'; for to do so means confronting issues that crowd their minds.
Actually, this is one of life's greatest gifts and a simultaneous reminder that the only way to experience the purest truth is to be awakened to those who don't have your very best at heart.
Without this knowing, many people live lies for years, even though everything within lets them know of the shortcomings.
Oftentimes, people will say they were blindsided; but, after a little dissecting, it becomes a case of red flags at many junctures that they simply wouldn't allow themselves to see.
Have a great year!
Starting the year in Warrior Pose should be useful in reminding you of who you are.
Peace.
i would love to get a motorhome in the next 3 years and then travel for the rest of my life I am 50 so I could travel for another 25 years and record my travels and share that online ... would that be magic and the best way to go out... living every day and waking up somewhere new every morning and making nrew friends while you travel that is what I am going to do and noone is going to stop my 2020 in my goal to start that part of my life with or without my partner... I have a deep down calling ... that I can no longer ignore..
Very thoughtful, deep post with a spiritual bend. What I believe is if we can keep our energies pure, high and live with faith in whatever we believe to be God/ Divine, we can keep ourselves safe from all things negative.
Thanks for this meaningful post and also for those 5 points which are really helpful.
Great message! I think your idea of lessons coming in spirals is so true. Our knowledge is always evolving!
I think one of my best friends thought the same thoughts. We did go through a lot together until our mid 20´s now. Then suddenly no contact anymore and I think your reasons for making yourself a priority and so on was one of his reasons. He went to a school at that time and the school taught things about being mindful and how to be a mind "teacher" so to say. However, please do not forget to inform your closest friends about your journey and how you think it is better without them in this stage of your life. I got crazy when he "left". However, I think and hope he is happier now.
Beautiful
I agree with spending more time connecting people. In this life we shouldnt burn bridges. Instead we should focus on building positive relationships with people.
Beautiful post.....I agree with you.
You've written a truly beautiful post - I will have to read it again and again. There is some wonderful advice in there and being kind to ourselves is really important too.