This afternoon I went to meet my bestfriend to have lunch together while I was also active on the discord channel discussing some deep shit. As usual she and I talked about recent issues going on in our society but mostly about the ridiculousness of feminism among our classmates, or simply talking about religion while surrounded by religious people. We would always be the heathens on the room, we do not mind talking loudly about our views which could probably straight land us to steel bars hadn't we master the art of subliminal talking. Sometimes those who overheard us would give some sort of weird looks, but who cares. yet suddenly, we moved our conversation and talking about money.
Suddenly, she brought up a topic about money, something I previously mentioned over the channel about how I see the money itself. She told me she was unhappy and still feeling empty even after she went on a shopping spree, purchased things she always wanted. as she was speaking, I kept on listening to her while my mind was actually wandering around my past experience.
Back to when I was still in my freshman year, I live alone and still I am, differences was I still very dependent on my foster parents allowance which didn't give me enough to do entertainment and anything fancy. It was only enough for food and books. That time, I don't want so many things, I don't go to any kind of paid entertainment or a fast food chain. I was simple. I didn't want more and I feel truly blessed to be able to eat daily. I didn't even own a fancy phone or a laptop. All in all, I was a simple, grateful and I never had any money in my mind.
Fast forwards, I hit my sophomore year, when I met my partner. We traveled together and things started took a turn. I wasn't that simple girl anymore. I suddenly crave more; more traveling, more everything. He showed me a lot of possibilities I could do with my life, with my talents, and my future. He planted the idea of money into my mind. I honestly need money that time and I started to think about working; something I never had in mind, like I barely work my whole life as there was always my foster parents who do things. The idea of working itself was ridiculous. But I was forced to work, because my foster parents couldn't seem to support me decently anymore.
So, I began to look for online job. I made my first few dollar from writing some simple articles. It wasn't that great, I was underpaid. Then, I started to build some reputation while I contacted my old friends who worked as website developers, just in case they need a hand. I started signing up for fiverr, and there I slowly made money. My earning was more than enough to cover my whole expenses and some hanging out with the girls time. At the same time, I also had the opportunity to reconcile with my biological mother who showered me with things instead of affection. I don't know, I suddenly love the "things" more than the affection I secretly wanted from a mother. And funny, How I suddenly enjoy working and ended up overworked myself even today.
My mind was then filled with " I want more work, and more and more of it". I did it I guess, before I hit 20, I had some stable business in hand while also offering translation job and still now, I am keeping my mind open to any new business opportunity. From that moment I began earning, I started to look money differently.
I could afford things I couldn't afford before, but there was something strange, I would go home and still feel empty.
I have also watched a documentary about rich Chinese society on how they lead their life,going on a shopping spree, fancy stores, luxury trips and everything most of us couldn't afford. However, by the end of the day they would still cry and feeling hopeless; empty as if money can't buy that happiness or moments which lost.
Like, those fancy, overpriced meal at the restaurant with the girls still left me feeling empty as I reached my room. It was a really mindless socialization which only happen because I have the money.I also feel the exact emptiness as I looked back while traveling with my partner visiting great places we'd never think of before. We have this privilege of being young, with money and carefree, everyone used to be jealous with us yet now I am jealous over people who has nothing but a genuine smile and a moment they seemed to cherish.
And for the past few months, I am trying to redefine the way I see about money. I couldn't deny that we need money but trust me on one thing, don't let it take control over your life, your moment, your relationship and your friendship. Life is a roller coaster, it's always exciting and thrilling in each turn. So, just enjoy it.
In the future, I would really cherish the moment I have and finally make peace within myself.
So, we ended our conversation that afternoon by her saying
I absolutely love this post!! I am definitely following your page :D
Thank you, I followed you back cause you mention " Hustle" It's like secret keyword! anyway I'll check your posts :)
"Money is a forced substitute for our trust in each other." I'm quoting myself. What we believe in is charged with energy, even something meaningless like paper. That trusts ready to be given back to humanity. So we shouldn't reject money because when we receive it we have a chance to set that energy free. Don't fall under the spell of awe that money invokes on others, that power is rightfully all of ours and will be returned to us as we trust each other more and more.
Check out a book: The Man who Quit Money
" We shouldn't reject money" and so is " we shouldn't reject opportunity" but again it clearly requires a great control when money and power starts coming in your lane. I still don't have a big self control not go on a shopping spree, it's like a guilty pleasure. Also, I tried to check the book, there's one amazon so I guess I can't download it for free by far I was looking the e-book or the free pdf version. according to reviews it's an interesting book. I'll give it a shot
I think it's great to reject money that requires you to do anything you don't believe in....which for me means most things, but there are sure to be some thing she you can make good money from, especially now with places like this.
Find peace and you won't really feel the same desire to go shopping for useless shit ;-P
The one thing you can't buy with money is discomfort. Unless you are terrified of roller coasters and buy rides on them. It is a funny relationship that we have with it; and spending tends to be like a gas; instead of it expanding to fill the available space, spending tends to expand to consume the available money.
" Spending tends to be like a gas " so, question, how do we stop treating it like a gas and start saving? maybe looking for alternative and try to not use the gas? but will the volume of gas stays even after we keep it for days?
Good post. @macchiata .. keep it
:)
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A smile! that's all I have for now :D
Ayyyyyyyy sometimes each day, each moment is different :)