Time going too slow for my liking, I can’t stand it, being an intern I start my day at 6 am, I have to reach the office by 9 am, while I spend one hour and a half from my place to there. I just started, so the first part is the most boring one, nonetheless still important, especially if you have to learn something new. Admittedly I don’t seem to know what should be the first thing I should look up, I know that I need too many things to know beforehand, but I don’t know how many. Where do I even start? What’s more important? Am I even doing it right? Of course being the socially awkward me, I don’t seem to get myself to talk to my mentor, who is quite kind, friendly and encouraging, and by the way, he’s just 1 year older than me.
I don’t know what to do with myself, why can’t I just get along with people, and instead make things awkward? When am I going to be cured of this? My God!
Even when they try to bond with me, and make me feel as part of the team, part of the family that they are, it doesn’t work, I just keep silent, you can only get a node from me, or an ‘um’ sound, and even keeping eye contact drains all my energy. Today is the third day, for me, it feels like more than a week.
I don’t even believe it’s just Wednesday, two more days to wrap the week, and I need to make a report, even though I know I won’t get scolded if my performance is only average, but the disappointment! I don’t want that, I don’t want to disappoint them, I don’t want them to regret accepting me.
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