So sorry for your loss. It's heartbreaking when your loving furry companion passes.
We have had to put 3 cats to sleep over the years. 2 that were severely injured and my mother in law's pet Rusty, who had cancer and was very ill. She couldn't bring herself to take him to the vet.
I totally sympathize with your loss, as we have shed some tears over the years at the loss of our faithful furry companions.