A Life on the Run: Writings (Ramblings) of My Time in Europe, 2013

NOTE: This is a long, mostly unedited post from my time in Europe. In 2013, I studied abroad in Finland. It was written in 2013 over the course of my time in Finland between January - June. It also includes some rambles of my time exploring Saint Petersburg, Russia.I had always planned on writing a book about my time there but I can never get focused enough. But, I believe in documentation. Pictures included at bottom of post.

Between reading On the Road and Into the Wild, some mystical idea caught my attention, and I was seized by this grandiose idea of writing about adventures – my own adventures whilst in Europe to study abroad. But, I was not only in Europe to study; I was there to experience cultures that are different than my own. I was there to experience my life to the fullest possible. I was on the adventure of a lifetime; not many people get to go to one of the northernmost countries, make friends from all over the world, and then backpack through Europe while working at little places along the way. I was on an adventure, a mind-boggling adventure in which sometimes I really questioned as to why I was doing it, if I was brave enough, if I had the funds needed, if I could handle such an awe-inspiring feat. I had a lot to prove to myself and to others.

My journey started in Lock Haven, Pennsylvania: a quaint little town on the banks of the Susquehanna River in the middle of the state. I was there attending university. I was there for a long time, too long. I needed a change, to uproot myself from everything that was familiar and to go somewhere where nobody knew my name, and not many people from the United States care to go. I was ready to branch out from the quiet Pennsylvanian wilderness that I had gotten ever so attached to. I was ready to branch away from the numerous friends that I had made from simply being at Lock Haven University. I was too comfortable and towards the end of my stay, I hated being there. For the sanity of my own mind, my time in Lock Haven was over; my last semester was to be spent abroad where I was not comfortable; where sleeping habits are hard to come by; and where everything in the stores are written in a different language that I had yet to comprehend.
I packed up all of my stuff after the exam period was over, and my life at Lock Haven University came to a close. I was on my way home, back to a different part of Pennsylvania that had also gotten too comfortable; it was just too much for me to handle. It took me a month to get out of there. But, I got out. I said the shortest of goodbyes to my parents, gave them the smallest half-hearted hugs I could. I boarded a plane out of Newark, New Jersey without even looking back to see how my parents were handling losing me to a region that is seven hours ahead and about six thousand miles away. I was finally free. At the time of writing this, maybe I regret not giving them proper hugs and proper goodbyes. Who knew when they were going to see me again? My departure was the end of life as my parents knew it; it was the end of life as I knew it, too.
 
Kokkola is a popping little town on the coast of the Gulf of Bothnia, the highest regions of the Baltic Sea. Tractors plow sidewalks going 35 miles per hour early in the mornings on weekdays and later in the mornings on weekends; they just cruise right along and hopefully no pedestrians get in their way. Green tractors, white tractors, yellow tractors large tractors and small tractors. There are sidewalks everywhere in Kokkola, following all major and minor roads. Finns take particularly good care of their pedestrians and their cyclists. There’s a small river that runs through the city and heads into the Gulf. The water is a slushy brown colour in January, who knows what colour it is in July, maybe it remains the same. It’s mostly frozen, and there are sidewalks that run along the banks. A most spectacular walk is to walk that length for an hour or so during the winter months, with the snow banks piled high on either side of the walkway and about a four inch covering of packed snow on the path itself. When it meets the sea, the entire world seems to have turned gray and white from the sky and the snow. There are even more walkways, and inside these walkways there are even two tracks for cross country skiers.
Kokkola. Where people don’t seem to be in a hurry and always wait at stop signs to give the other people the right of way. Where kindness lives in a way that I figured impossible by an entire nation of people whom have yet to succumb to the nitty-gritty of the western world that I was so adjusted to. Kokkola was a wilderness, a vast wilderness of unchartered territory and people whom had yet to be conquered. Where footsteps through the snow documented your every move until enough feet had trampled the path and your set were as indescribable as the next. Where all motorists use their blinkers even when no other vehicles are around and where people hang their clothes out to dry when it’s only eighteen Fahrenheit outside. Where traffic lights grow obnoxious with their cluttering like ticking time bombs to alert the blind, compared to in America where we just have raised, bumpy sidewalks at traffic lights to alert the blind that there is a road coming up.

One time we adventured – half of the contingency of exchange students – went on a camping excursion. We hiked for two hours through a foot of snow on the Sea. We ended up at an island – but set up the large tent on the ice. We made good food, and bonded with our guides. We went ice fishing; caught nothing but ice. We made even more food, and bonded with ourselves. The tent was just like a giant tarp with no bottom, so we were basically set up on the ice and snow. The tent had a stove, as well, in the center, and a chimney rose out of the center of the tent. Ten of us stayed in the tent – we took two hour shifts feeding the stove so that we wouldn’t freeze to death outside. But then, it all came crashing down, quite literally. And, I feel as though we almost died from smoke inhalation. Only one of us was awake when it happened, and she was in charge of waking the rest of us, then we had to clear ourselves out of the tent. Luckily, none of us were hurt. We all just had a memory of an adventure that had gone horribly wrong. I was filled with bad omens the entire day before – my sleeping bag zipper was broken and it took me an hour to fix it; when I was putting my boots on, the zipper on my left boot broke and I had to Gerry-rig it to my foot by tying cloth strips around. We spent the rest of the night in a sauna on the island closest to our part of the sea. It didn’t warm up that much, but we were bundled together and filled with smoke of a bad night’s sleep.

I had my first night club experience in Finland. Of course I was already three sheets to the wind – had an entire bottle of whiskey beforehand. Had been at a party, and you know, I’m all types of awkward with social situations so I just drank and drank and drank and made myself numb from all the whiskey and then proceeded to loosen up a bit and attempt to have a damn good time. It’s a numbing that has the potential to be very addicting, and it’s something that I may have already gotten addicted to. I’m turning European and I just want to party, party, party, to my heart’s content and then party some more. I suppose the allure of partying also has a great deal to do with having control of yourself, but at the same time, not, and giving in to the pleasures of not giving a fuck about anything except having a phenomenal time with your peers. And, so it happened. I had cracked.

I have learned that Europeans are wired differently and aren’t used to friends kissing friends. It’s especially uncommon in Finland. Well, of course, the only descriptive word that comes to mind in this situation is FUCK! Honestly, no idea how these people are alive. Though, I’ve included another victim; a Finn this time! Thus far, a month and a half into the adventure, these lips have claimed three victims; it’s even more impressive that it happened in less than ten days. I miss my Lock Haven friends where they’re okay with raunchy parties and everybody making out with everybody else. I think I just miss last semester for how fucked up of an adventure it was. But, hey, I’m in Europe now! It is Winter Break (Spring Break) and I have no plans! Whatsoever! Except drinking tea with another potential victim and doing all my laundry by hand. I may jig on up to Lapland, however. I really want to go up there. I also really want to go to Helsinki and Stockholm and well, everywhere. Finland makes me happy when I leave out all thoughts of my mother, whom I’ve had a massive falling out with and I’m pretty sure it was the best idea ever to stop talking with her. I have made a few lifestyle changes. I now like scrambled eggs if I put enough veggies in it, the veggies overpower the taste of eggs, but I’m still getting my protein intake or whatever. I’ve only eaten meat once here, and fish twice, perhaps. It’s definitely a good change. Buying your own food and cooking every day is something grand. There are some problems here in Finland, like getting lost from the nightclub to home for an hour at 4 am while knowing how to get home from there. I still don’t know how I managed to get so lost, I suppose I’ll blame whiskey and leave it at that. Of course, I managed to find my way to the university, giggled a bunch at my antics, and went on home. I think I’ll avoid alcohol for a bit. Buuut, then again, maybe not; I do have half a bottle of whiskey left. ;)

The Finns like their pickles – they’ve got barrels of them in the fruits/vegetables area and you can get as many of them as you’d like and weigh them, then they’re yours. They’re marinating in some kind of juice and I’m not sure what exactly it is, but I decided to experiment and try one for 85 euro cents. It’s nice and juicy and I suppose if this is how they take their pickles, well, good for them. Who am I to judge? Would I buy one again? Yeah, probably; I love pickles. I’m not sure how the Finns eat their pickles but I like to imagine they feast upon these tasty treats while having a sauna.

Where they have slot machines in the front of grocery stores even while they’ve got a building across the parking lot that handles nothing else but slot machines. Maybe in the cold of winter, this is how the Finnish people survive: by playing the lottery and gambling their time away waiting for the grounds to unfreeze. Awaiting a slushy disaster that is only bested when the slush refreezes with a colder night.

When Erasmus students turn a non-European into Erasmus and get that student so beyond wasted. When dancing on stage at a bar and taking random shots with Asians is the thing to do. When taking sips of random Europeans drinks because they shove the straw in your drunken face and know you’ll try anything. Where you dance with hot drunken Finnish babes and they seem alright with it. When you lose your mind from too much alcohol and let the partying spirit welcome you with open arms. This. This is why I love Europe. Europeans party and have good times all the time. When you end up going home with a very beautiful smile and just have a phenomenal time. I love Finland. I never want to go back to the States. I am turning European! Where we dance onstage all through the night with no care in the world and shenanigans ensue.

St Patrick’s Day in Finland is a crazy, crazy, extremely whiskey adventure. I haven’t’ the foggiest about what happened just that it was totally and completely way too fucking awesome.

The northern lights, when light dances across the sky and you just want to cry tears of happiness because of how beautiful Mother Nature is. At this point, I don't even know what to do with my life. Like honestly, after you've seen such a beautiful amazing sight.... like my good st patrick, if i died tomorrow, i'd have lived such an amazing and most fulfilling life filled with awesomeness and love and beauty. I don’t even have enough words in the English language to explain how much I am in love with Finland and all that it has offered to me. The northern lights on st patrick’s day was the iconic moment of being 23, perhaps of my life. Time is irrelevant now. I don’t even know what to say, how to say it. I just, there isn’t enough beauty in this world on a daily basis. But to have such an amazing st patricks day, it’s ridiculous. 2013 has been my year. I have never felt so alive. The chill that exists afterwards is completely worth everything. I am so filled with peace and love and beauty and happiness. Everything is beautiful. I might have financial problems in the near future, but nothing can compare. This is a true happiness and an inner peace that I could have never found in PA. I have made the best possible decision, and yolo. Because, this event, this one special and most extraordinary event has proven to me ten times over that true happiness cannot be bought, it cannot be purchased. True happiness comes from what Mother Nature and the universe can provide. So even while I will be going to Stockholm, Helsinki, Riga, St. Petersburg, Vilnius, and Tallinn in the very near future, and going near broke from these trips, there is nothing man made that can be on the same level as what nature has provided for us here in Finland. St. Patrick was celebrating his own holiday.

When snowmobile tracks follow train tracks for miles on end, you know you’re in the countryside of finland. Where there is construction being done at 9 am and I think that maybe the finns were definitely made cold blooded specifically for the extreme cold temperatures they live and survive in.

I don’t think I know enough words in the English language to describe how beautiful I think st. Petersburg is. The architecture was amazing and I think it’s the only city I’ve actually contemplated about really living in. sure, I’d like to live in DC but that’s for work purposes. St. Petersburg is for life purposes. I need to learn Russian; it’s now a life goal for me. And everybody knows I don’t do life goals, ever. I really want to go back to Saint Pete and stay for a week or two or three or more. I think I wouldn’t mind falling in love with a Russian if it meant I could stay in that grand country that has so much history. I want to belong where the commies belong. I think my pictures speak for me when describing the beaut that was that city. Apparently there are only sixty days of sunny weather; we were lucky and had beautiful, sunny weather the entire time we were there.

I’m reading Atlas Shrugged and it speaks to me on so many different levels and I’m only 150 pages in. I love it. Ayn Rand had a voice among mere mortals.

Speaking of my whiskey addiction, I am over it. St. Petersburg, thank you for being Russia, thank you for providing vodka for me to remember my love for vodka. I have ended the 8 month relationship with my dear whiskey and have rekindled my romantic love affair with vodka.

I started this adventure because I was running from my life back home and all the problems that occur with it. But I have realized, those problems continue to haunt me thousands and thousands of miles away. Now, I seem to be running away from everything else. This is a new realization that I think might be correct. For example, when a certain fellow asked (well, demanded…) to be in a relationship with me, I ran away from that because of the prime excuse of we were parting in a month and a half – why develop hardcore feelings when it’ll just end in heartbreak. And, I’m really such an asshole for doing that because I actually liked that fellow. But I ran away. Another example: I extended my lease until the end of May so that I could send another two weeks in Finland. Why? Because the thought of returning home twists my mind and heart into anger; because Damascus doesn’t feel like home anymore and I don’t see a rational reason as to why I should return to there. Because I want to continue to run away from those problems for as long as possible, though, it feels that I could run all the way to China and those problems would be haunting me. The only way those problems would fuck off was if I decided to eliminate my Facebook and change my email address. I’ve already eliminated my phone, so it has the potential to be realistic. However, eliminating my Facebook would also mean that I wouldn’t be in contact with anybody from the U.S. (at least no family, since that is where the problems always stem from). And while I started this journey with grand illusions that I was going to completely ignore my family and forget about them except Jeremy and Zoe; it’s something that I just can’t do. My honor to my family is greater than most things – my love of my family extends across the globe – though, some of them do not seem to realize that and wish to continue causing problems. I came to Finland to find peace. And? I found peace; I found a most peaceful winter wonderland; a quiet people; a silent city. But once I ticked on that technology factor, the peace got destroyed by hateful words, most with a lot of anger and meaning behind them. I diverged. Another example: I skip classes almost as much as last semester and my excuse is of course, the easy, and the simple: senioritis. However, it’s not that. I skip class because I don’t want my time here to end. It doesn’t make sense, I know. I go to other countries because I’m running and I’m running. And there has to be a point in which I stop running – I can’t continue on like this. But, where is that final destination? When will everything stop affecting me? Do I have to remove technology completely from my life? All of these philosophical questions keep me up at night. I have to return to the United States – I have no desire to return to the United States. However, I also have no desire to continue staying in Finland; it was an entirely too expensive country. I think Lithuania would be a nice place to settle down. I’ve added Lithuanian to the list of languages that I have to learn by the time I’m old and senile. That means, sometime, I have to find the time to learn: Lithuanian, Russian, Finnish, Swedish, Arabic, Gaelic, and whatever else tickles my fancy in a few months time.

I had just large expectations for Finland. It hasn’t really happened that way – Europeans stick with Europeans; I was placed in Tankkari 3 and the rest of the exchangers placed in Tankkari 1 and 2; I’m not learning Finnish; I’m not learning Swedish; I haven’t been to Lapland; I haven’t been to the Arctic Circle; I haven’t seen a reindeer; etc. I really wish I could just live this semester over again. I’m not sure what exactly I would change, however. Maybe to have a more positive time – not to say that I haven’t had a positive time or the time of my life – but there is always room for improvement.

I came to Finland to find inner peace but I think I’ve filled myself more with inner conflict. I came to Finland to figure out what I wanted to do with my life but all I’ve figured out is what I don’t want to do with my life – anything in relation to business. I have discovered a new love of Eastern Europe that can probably only be found by visiting Eastern Europe. Far too often is this part of the world overlooked in favor of Western Europe. I wouldn’t mind settling down in Sweden or Russia or Lithuania, as already stated. My candid, strange love affair with Sweden continues not as strongly as it used to, but it is still in existence, and I still can’t figure out why.

I wish I had a time machine or I was rich. I want to study so many different things. I want to be an architect – I think that is currently my dream job. I’ve already fucked up my reputation too much to become President of the USA. Besides, do I really want to be in that front and center of a job? I value research so much more than being the center of everything. I only wanted to be president because of a key few things, and that isn’t enough to fully want to be president of the USA. I’d prefer if my citizenship was something else. All these foreigners, they want USA citizenship and I really don’t understand why. America isn’t all that it’s cracked up to be.

I’ve taken to eating more and more American food. I’ve lost weight, by the way. My belt is down to its last hole and then I’ll have to start putting my own in. I hope it doesn’t come to that; I’m sure I’d accidentally cut myself. But I make big juicy burgers because I’m finally putting my skills that I learned over the summer to the test. I make them pretty damn nicely. I’m actually going to eat a burger tonight with some fried onions. Oh, have I mentioned I like mushrooms now? It’s the most curious thing! I haven’t bought any yet myself nor have I tried cooking them yet; but they’ve been in things that I’ve ordered out. I think my tastebuds are growing up a little bit. The real test will be apple juice, but I’m definitely not going to buy any just in case I won’t like it. Though, I’m sure I could find something to do with it; I’m amazingly resourceful all the time! I have changed parts of my diet; it’s quite strange, though not really in the strange sense, just different. For example, I only eat whole wheat pasta now, instead of the regular pasta. Whole wheat tastes much better and I’m surprised that I didn’t really like it that much when Jake used to make it for me. Though, like I said, my tastebuds are having a growth spurt! Another change is that I drink tea religiously, and only tea. I always forget to buy juice or milk at the market. And, only when I’m craving a coke do I go out and buy a soda; it’s a rare occurrence for me to crave a coke. I am also going to move on to brown rice instead of the Basmati rice that has occupied my heart for eons. There are all these different types of food out there so why stick to the same routine? I eat hard-boiled eggs, scrambled eggs, and fried eggs like crazy. I have the occasional craving for burgers, as I’ve already stated. Chop meat is the only meat that I consume. I’ve had probably 40 avocados this semester – by themselves, on grilled cheese sandwiches, as guacamole, in hummus, in egg salad, and many other options. I eat kidney beans and other kinds of beans; I’ve had tuna! If I can make dietary lifestyle changes, why can’t I make other lifestyle changes?

In hindsight from this adventure, I wish I had lived it differently. There’s no way I’m probably going to pull off that 3.0 GPA that I really needed to get my 2.972 up to for graduate school. I probably should have taken all my classes a bit more seriously, but, to be frank, it’s business, for christ’s sake. If I went to class all the time, I’d have been bored off my arse. I think exploring northeastern Europe will have been the better choice in the long run. I am tired of having my life dictated by my GPA. I am tired of higher education; but I’m so nervous of graduating – what if I never amount to anything because I can’t manage to get my head on straight because I still don’t know what I want to do with my life. And, I don’t want to spend my life working – there is more to live than working for that paycheck – I want to explore, to dream, to adventure, to research; I just want to live and be as enjoyed as this semester has been for me.

It’s also very surreal when it’s 10pm and still light out. It’s like I’m losing my mind or time has no relevance anymore. I more pro the latter than the former; I just wish I could experience Kokkola in mid-July, or so. The amount of darkness is nil! It’s just crazy. It starts getting light at 3:30am ish. It’s crazy; I’ll never experience this ever again, I don’t think.

I want to study more in Asia. I want to return to studying Spanish. I want to study Finnish. I want to study Swedish. I want to study Russian. I don’t even want to take the GRE’s anymore. I don’t want to go to graduate school anymore. I want to just study and research; become a hermit, an intellectual hermit. I’m reading Atlas Shrugged, and it’s really made me fully realize that I’m a waste of my brain; that I’m definitely not anywhere near putting forth my full-potential and haven’t since maybe 8th grade.

I miss the snow and cold weather. 50 degrees and I can get away without wearing a coat here. I hope I retain this ability to function in cold weather in December in Damascus. Oh, I saw a partial lunar eclipse here, that wasn’t visible for those in North America. It’s awesome. I’ve experienced such magnificent views. But, really, I really, really miss the snow. I miss the ice. I miss having to wear longjohns under my jeans just to go to class. I have cut down my internet usage like ten-fold. It’s amazing. I mean, I’ve gotten a lot more read in my book and have played a lot more Starcraft. Because there is more to life than always being on Facebook, or any other horrendous website; really there is.

Friday night the party continued until 3.30am with the Europeans arguing which of their country’s got occupied by the Nazi’s first. Friday night’s party was just really strange, quite frankly. We played weird games and yeah, strange! Then again, I also, re-made out with the Brit and actually got acquainted with him. Really, if there’s nothing that makes me happier, it’s discussing sports at a party. Dammit! It’s the best thing ever! Not really, but it does rank pretty high up there in the things that I love to talk about at parties.

May first is a holiday in Finland, but I’m still unsure what it is they’re celebrating. I think it officially marks the start of spring for them – I like to think of it as the country still celebrating in their Pagan ways. But, of course, I had no idea it was an actual holiday; as I stumbled out of my apartment all sickly like getting ready to go to the store and buy foods, only to find out that all the stores were closed. It seemed like the whole of Kokkola’s population was in the centre of the city – eating ice cream and gathering. There were also streams of old fancy cars going down the roads. If only I wasn’t super sick so I could have partaken in some of the festivities. I will have to research more into it. I was really hoping they celebrated Walpurgis Night here, but to them, the entire thing is just May Day, or Vippu or something like that. They do picnics. They drink. They celebrate the spring. I love Finland.

I’m one of the only exchangers staying on until the end of May. I think it’s because they all can’t wait to return home and I want to continue running from all the sloppy shit I’ll have to deal with when I return home.

It’s crazy in Finland – you get your extreme cold in the winter months – until like half-through April but then it’s a bit of slushy disaster and then bam! 60 degrees! Super short shorts weather! I could probably stay here forever, I mean, if money wasn’t an issue. But of course, we just have to live in the type of society that uses money for every damn little thing. It’s not even fully dark yet and it’s 12:30am 14 May 2013.

I wish I could settle down in an area and call it home, but I don’t think I’ll ever be able to do that. I’m too much of a wanderer. All I want to do is love everywhere I go, and everywhere I’ve been, and love everywhere else, too.

The other night the Brit and I went for a very nice walk to the sea. It was about 80 that day and we were out at like midnight, it was barely cooled down, and still very beautiful, as the sun was setting and just I’m lucky. Because if my life isn’t nice, I really, really have no idea what is.

There is nothing better than going out on a Saturday night at 1 am and chasing a full moon in a place where there is no dusk and there is no dawn. There is always light in the sky in Kokkola. I’m getting removed from my area of living in five days and I still have absolutely nothing planned out. But, really, the most peaceful I have felt in a week or so was tonight at around 2.30-4 in the morning surrounded by nature. I really wish I had taken ornithology during my time at LHU (granted, I’d have to have taken a bundle of other science-y classes before hand, so I’d really just be adding another minor to my already booked out life, which if I had a time-turner, yeah, I’d totally add biology as a minor if I could relive LHU).

I am leaving Kokkola tomorrow morning and have decided to spend some time on the workaway program. I will be teaching 6 Finnish children English in a town two hours from Kokkola. I’m going more towards central Finland: Saarijärvi. I will also be assisting with a garden and cooking duties. In return, all my food, internet, and room will be for free. I will be there from 01 June to 25 June. From there I will probably head directly to Dublin but may still try to head up to Lapland. It’s a dream that I don’t want to let go of yet. I’ll probably never be in Suomi ever again and I haven’t made it up there yet; so I might try to work with some horse people for a few weeks in Inari, which is extreme northern Lapland. I’m a bit nervous to teach children English but I feel as though since I am interested in teaching English as a foreign language sometime eventually in life, I am in need of some practice and what better way to start than with six fresh minds that haven’t been tortured by the system already. I am unsure of how much English the children may know, but I think I’ll be good to go. Pinterest has been assisting me in thinking of games to play. I have plenty of notecards in case. I hope I get to teach letters, numbers, and simple words, like names of foods and animals and things that are easy. Especially animals! Though, I really want to incorporate a geography lesson into the idea, and have already brought it up to the parents. I’m not sure if some of the children are old enough to learn geography, but really, it’s never too early to get a jumpstart on geography. I’m so nervous! I’m worried about whether like 4 year olds are going to like me; I’ve never even figured I’d be in this position, but I’m really excited to try something new! I think this working not for profit but for room and board and food and those amenities is probably the best system ever; it’s a bargaining trading system, it’s a bit like communism or socialism or a utopian society that doesn’t revolve around money. I really want to start my commune.

This is probably going to be one of the strangest books ever written. “Oh, hey, Corgi Blue here; I went to study abroad in Finland…Turned into a party animal…Barely went to class…Explored northern European cities…Did shitty in my business classes…Made out with too many people…And then turned into an English teacher for children…To remove a certain fear of babies…And then may have gone to Lapland to take care of a certain fear of horses…And then eventually wandered on off to Ballymore to play with Alex and Keith for a few weeks…And then finally went home to Damascus…Back to the vegetable gardens…Back to the bullshit “American dream” lifestyle of bullshit…And that was how I spent my 2013. The end.”

Yesterday I had egusi stew, a traditional Nigerian dish made by a Nigerian. It was awesome and quite delicious! It was hot, spicy, had fish in it; served with a dumpling like thing; and we ate it with our hands! It was such an awesome experience! And then, for dinner I went out with Annie, a Kenyan, to an Indian restaurant and had chicken tikka masala, which was absolutely delicious! I had so much food yesterday and I just kept eating and eating and eating. I’ve had a beaut of a final week in Kokkola! I’ve been to the beach and it was absolutely bloody freezing in the water, but oh so totally worth it!!! I haven’t been to bed yet; I made extremely caffeinated tea at like 2 am and have been cleaning and packing ever since. It’s 7 am. I will truly miss Kokkola like nobody’s business! It’s cray! I think I could totally definitely live here forever, if I could. :)

Okay, leaving Kokkola was way too hard to do. I want to go back there and go along the saanti, the river that runs through the town. I want to hang out with Steven and Mari and get obnoxiously expensive ice cream cones; I don’t know how Finns can afford it. I really miss the sea. I’ve only been gone less than 12 hours. That place meant the absolute world to me; I don’t think anybody besides me realized that. Now, I’m 2 hours away, in central Finland where the mosquitoes are even more popular and the place is a loud raucous-filled arena. Saarijärvi seems like a quiet Finnish mini city like most areas I’ve been in, in this country; except Helsinki, which also didn’t really seem to have the noise levels of a city say NYC-sized or even a smaller city like Pittsburgh or Philadelphia.

The family I am to be living with for the next three and a half weeks seem pretty chill. The woman, Cristina, is originally from Romania; the man, Juha, is a Finn. They have seven children, but also children from previous marriages. The names of the children all begin with T, so it’s rather confusing: Teo, Tiona, Tinea, Tenina, Tenoina, Teno, and I don’t remember the baby’s name.

Day One of teaching went as expected: the 7 year old refused, the 6 year old was sensitive and cried a lot but worked on the alphabet, the 5 year old worked on the alphabet, the 4 year old assisted a bit with the alphabet and did some coloring, the 3 year old just colored, and the 2 year old learned how to say orange. There is another girl also assisting Cristina and Juha; Irina, she comes from Romania, as well. So there are three different languages being spoken usually during the day. We do activities with the children after we teach them. We make them snacks. Do their dishes. Just in general take care of them for 5 hours each week day. This evening we went and swam in one of the lakes, the water was quite cold but not as cold as the sea.

Yesterday we walked to Saarijärvi, Irina and I; about 10 miles roundtrip. Fucking killed my feet, but it was worth it; 28C weather, ice cream at a little stand, and so on. Yesterday was just all around really nice! And I’ve been trying more Finnish foods while here in this town, more than I had in Kokkola. Saarijarvi means islandlake. And there sure are A LOT of lakes here! 291 in all of Saarijarvi, to be frank.

Living with a Finnish-Romanian family is much better than having two Finnish flatmates. There are always traditional Finnish recipes and Romanian recipes being made. I have had all sorts of different foods and tried different combinations and I have only been in Saarijarvi for 4 days. Teaching is hard, and the children don’t really give a fuck about learning any of the English that we try to teach them, but we keep trying in the hopes that they’ll remember something. Some of the children really want to learn, some of them truly don’t care at all. It’s always like there’s a stampeding herd of wild buffalo in this house, all there is always noise being made; children go to sleep extremely late; and tears are a plenty. I’ve missed all of the Pens v. Bruins games thus far and I have been going to bed early (for me) and waking up extremely early (for me). It’s a nice change of lifestyle. Rural central Finland is very, very similar to rural PA. And, I have had so much feta cheese in recent days; these people really love feta, which is awesome because it’s rare in Damascus to eat feta.

Summassaari is a beaut of a place. I love Suomi. It’s the best decision I’ve ever made to study in northern Europe and to do workaway programs. I should have left Kokkola in mid-May instead of late-May, at this rate!!

Things Finland Gave to Me:

• The best St. Patrick’s Day I’ll ever have: it started with a beginning I’ll never remember clearly and ended in color that I’ll never forget.
• I have had the time this semester (probably because I’ve not been writing books of political research papers) to read great literary pieces that I know will have a profound impact on me in my years to come.
• An appreciation that the rest of the world has learned a decent amount of English – and a distaste for America’s education system in the fact that I’m only fluent in English.
• The ability to walk around in 50 degree F weather in only long-sleeves!
• The best partying I think I’ll ever experience; I’m not quite sure on this because I really, really don’t remember at least half of it; but I know I must have had a beaut of a time!
• The opportunity to visit surrounding countries. That’s the thing that’s bad with the USA; it’s so damn colossal and then the only neighbours are Mexico and Canada. Europe is so damn compact it’s grand!
• A taste of their education system. LOL, I’ll stick to the backwards American education system where I can write papers of lengthy amounts; have more than one exam in a class (and have it be more than half a sheet of paper); and less of an emphasis on group presentations.
• A taste of their language; where they use too many vowels and enjoy using letters that don’t occur as often in English, like p’s, k’s, and v’s.
• Finnish rap, which is better than American rap; most likely because I can’t understand it.

Finland sidewalks, Kokkola
A sign near a park in Kokkola
Sunset, Kokkola
Wildflowers, Saarijarvi
Sunrise, Kokkola Going camping on the frozen Gulf of Bothnia
Helsinki Cathedral
Irina and I in a small church, Summassari, Finland.
The people who constructed this church were incredibly warm and wonderful.
The man took Irina and I out in his row boat and we got to see incredible views like this.

Having the time of my life.
Northern Lights, Saint Patrick's Day, Kokkola