Am I wrong? I truly have no idea...

She's different, or is she? Perhaps it's just the time that's different, although that's something I won't realise for quite a few years. Repetitive syndrome, she's the youngest of four, and she's always been a complete sponge. She has absorbed the characteristics of the older three, and used them to feed her own uniqueness. I do, honestly, believe that girls are more challenging, shall we say, than boys throughout the teenage years. May seem stereotypical, but it's what I believe. Maybe it's the fact that I've had two boys sandwiched between two girls that makes this one harder? Who knows.
She's been out most of the day. Only stipulation I made, was not to ask for extra time. The time she was told to be home was not to be extended.
Biggest mistake made was not checking her room before she left. It was supposed to be tidied. Yes, I forgot, wrong of me, I know. I was occupied elsewhere, mentally that is. Yeah, wasn't done, so I texted her, sarcastically thanking her for not doing as asked.
Later, you've guessed it, she asks for half an hour longer, with no time left for negotiation. I cave in.
So, she comes home, greets basically, and goes to her room. When she comes back downstairs, I remind her, not angrily, that her room was not done, and that she has homework due in two days. Well, you'd think I'd asked for her head on a plate!
Tears, cries of "I just can't handle this" "I've had enough of this sh*t", and off she goes, upstairs again, slamming the bedroom door. I'm left stunned.
I don't ask for much at all. I simply want her to keep her room tidy, (takes five minutes each day), do her homework, and come home on time. Seriously??
Maybe I struggle too much with the playing both parents party, I really don't know.
Am I wrong? I truly have no idea...