When we use words to describe adult women that are typically used to describe children, it changes the way we view women, even unconsciously, so that we don't equate them with adult men. In fact, it implies that they're inferior to men. - Mayim Bialik
After watching this video by Mayim Bialik, known for her role in the TV-series Blossom and The Big Bang Theory, I felt it was important for me to share my thoughts on her message. She is after all assuming to be a voice for all women. Hence I felt it is my duty to, as a woman, express where I stand and why I do not agree with this new type of "activism" which seems to have been coming up more and more lately.
Activism used to be a movement motivated by human beings seeing and understanding the oppressive and abusive nature of their or others' position and actively taking a stance to change it. In the times before and during the industrial revolution, where children were used for labor, women couldn't vote and slavery was still a thing, the oppression and abuse was a real thing. It was a physical fact. People were being harmed and/or denied rights and opportunities because they possessed some trait which by law was deemed "inferior".
However, the understanding of "activism" seems to have taken a strange turn where it's now no longer about facts and real situations, but about "feelings". As Mayim Bialik expresses in her video, being called a "girl" rather than a "woman" is supposed to make us women FEEL oppressed and inferiorized due to the connotations which may or may not have been associated with the word "girl" in the unconscious mind. To a degree, I can see her point. Sure, how words are defined and given context in the unconscious mind is based on our human history wherein, yes, women WERE regarded as inferior to men.
HOWEVER, what she and so many others today are saying is that these words and unconscious meanings have power over us and that we should actively strive to eradicate them from our vocabulary. We should stop a person who uses the "offensive" word in their tracks to point out that they are actually busy oppressing us. Although it may appear on the outside as though this is us women taking our power back, it is in fact the opposite of female empowerment or any empowerment for that matter.
Empowerment to me means that I have the power and the ability to decide and choose whether or not I will take something personally and feel oppressed, offended or inferiorized. My Empowerment exists in knowing that no matter what anyone calls me or thinks of me and no matter the "connotations", "implications" or "insinuations" certain words may be expressed with, it has no influence on me because I know who I am. I don't need anyone else to recognize that I am empowered, worthy of respect or equal in value because I know I am.
If you find yourself agreeing with this new type of "feminism" and feeling oppressed by words like "girl", then my question to you would be: "Where, how and why are YOU not recognizing or seeing your own value, worth and power?" If you are fighting so hard for a FEELING, something which only exists inside you in the first place, then that means there is something you are not giving yourself.
Now that us women have physical equality, in terms of having equal rights recognized by law, it is up to us to also recognize our inner "beingness" equality. We have to stop doing all those things in our own minds wherein we devalue ourselves and make ourselves feel inferior. The external fight is over, now we just need to stop the internal one.
Thanks for reading!
Kim Amourette
up voted and followed
Thank you otisbrown :)
The battle within ... the hardest struggle of all ... so come ... let us celebrate the struggle!! :))
lol I would say celebrate as in "embrace" in order to move through and transcend, yes!
It comes from the Swahili saying: Life only has meaning in the struggle, so come, let us celebrate the struggle! [but we mean the inner struggle in this case!] Steem on Kim!! (loving your avatar by the way - lovely smile) :)
That is a very interesting saying and I wonder as to its etymology. Celebrating the struggle only makes sense to me when there is also an active working towards resolving whatever is creating the struggle. So, as I do agree with the saying, I like to add a nuance at the end :)
The two sides of the Swahili coin are but one ;)
Externally it means working as a tribe, but I think it works equally well for our own internal soul work ;)
Ah ok that is really cool actually! Like realizing and recognizing the issues or conflicts that may come up, especially when you live with a group of people, and to then "celebrate" the issues in terms of seeing them as a challenge to grow and learn how to work together. Indeed I see that it also works that way in relation to internal struggles.
I'm aligned with this line of thought. Empowerment and self-esteem have to come from within. If you let what's happening around you define who you are and how you feel about yourself, it'll be very difficult to achieve anything in life. But once you've developed that confidence, you can achieve nearly anything, whether someone calls you a girl, a woman, or anything else.
On the other hand, there are also situations where the word "girl" will be used to undermine women in a group setting, to make them feel small and "not as good" in the eye of other people. And it's important, in those situations, to learn to set boundaries in a respectful way. I don't think coming from a place of victimhood and lashing out at others is the right way to go, but rather, acknowledging your own worth and presenting yourself as a person of value will be much better.
In the end, it's not so much "what" you do, but where the response is coming from that counts.
I'm enjoying these posts of yours @kimamourette. Looking forward to reading your next piece!
"I don't think coming from a place of victimhood and lashing out at others is the right way to go, but rather, acknowledging your own worth and presenting yourself as a person of value will be much better." Absolutely agree thesexologist, well said!
good points!
I agree with your statement. The feelings argument rubs me the wrong way since I started really thinking about it. The idea that a woman or girl may feel uncomfortable and as a result will be less inclined to seek self actualization seems to almost belittle females and make it seem that they need constant positive affirmations or they will crumble. The feminist movement for its first 2 waves was about letting women be independent and strong, now its about how women are these fragile things and your comments are destroying them. Seems to be quite counter to female empowerment imo
yes cool point e13c7r0n (sorry for the late reply, and what a username! lol). I would even say that it isnt just women who have taken on this "fragile" stance in relation to their "feelings", but in general society (at least if one were to go off of social media) seems to have adopted a fear of offending and being offended through words. We've started placing feelings and ego over what matters in this world and so we distract ourselves from finding ways to create a better world for everyone as we're only looking for reasons to fight and argue.
Absolutely accurate. I think the problem began when the line between words and actions was began to be intentionally blurred so now people feel and respond to words as if they have been attacked physically. Also it has been so ingrained in youth culture that it isn't good enough that you like yourself, but other people have to constantly validate it and that's not how the world works.
Yeah it's definitely interesting Dynamics playing out.