Why You Are Miserable...

in #life7 years ago

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I've noticed something about myself in the last few days. It's like my fire has gone out. I haven't been as excited about life as I usually am.
I'm a very bubbly and upbeat person even when my life seems too hard. But lately, I haven't been that woman.

I Then realized something.

It's almost like my brain resists being in a bad mood or sad state. Because whenever this happens. I go into a state of deep thinking to figure out what is wrong.

My life hasn't been bad at all. July was a great month. I went to Wendover and spent a week in Colorado. It was a ton of fun.

I Don't Have Anything to look forward to

Lately, I've been hoping that something would happen with my boyfriend and I, But it hasn't yet. Last month I finally questioned him about it and realized he wasn't even planning it. It broke my heart, But I somewhat expected it.
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It's important always to have something to look forward to! I'm all about living in the moment. But it's easier to see an "exciting" and happy future when you have something planned. Like a vacation.
I've always noticed that before a vacation I get super upbeat, And if the vacation is months a way, I spend months being super excited.
So even if you are just going to a concert Or a smaller event! Plan something.

Don't Let Your Life Be Easy!

I noticed something else.. I've been somewhat comfortable lately. Doing the same thing every day, Attempting to scale my shirt business. I've also been trying to figure out what I'm doing wrong so I can fix it.
Obviously, I can't give up now, Because I'm probably pretty close to seeing the results I've been working so hard for.
But the problem is things have become easy. And when your life gets too easy, It's easy to become bored and ungrateful.

This is why it's important to step out of your comfort zone a little more, And change up your experiences, so this doesn't happen as quickly. I also feel this is why many people who are working a job feel this way,
Things in life can quickly become repetitive. Have you ever had those moments when you get up in the morning, Or you're about to go to bed, And you know there are certain things you have to do to get your day started successfully. And it just feels so old and repetitive.
Rolling out of bed, Making your bed, Changing into your day clothes, Putting a bra on. Brush teeth, Move my fan next to my computer, Turn my computer on, heat up my breakfast. Sit down at my computer desk to start working.

I do this every single day, And it's necessary. But it gets old. I just want to get through it faster. But then my day is the same as yesterday. It's easy to get stuck in this loop. That is why It's important to break your routine, so you don't experience this as often. It also important to continuously do new things, If you only do what is easy, You can't grow.
When you become too comfortable, You become miserable.
Do what you are avoiding!
Sometimes those bring the most success and fulfillment.
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Lately, I've been focusing more on my Shopify store. It's something I put off because It's not as fun as uploading my shirt designs too, but It has serious potential because it's based on the Amazon platform. This will allow me to accomplish my goals outside of my business. It's like that saying When it rains it pours. But the reverse is also true, When one area of your life is going well, More areas are also more likely to be doing well!

So get out there, Break the routine! Have things to look forward to and take on challenges.


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@kaylinart Hi, I am here for you. We all are. May I suggest consuming more conscious, high energy, electrifying, raw foods. They will calm the mind, help reconnect you, detoxify and regenerate you on all levels. Mucho amor amiga! Namaste

Thank you ! Thats a great tip!

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So your boyfriend is not thinking about your future together? He's not even planning for it?

Well, that's ok. YOU do the planning and tell him what you are planning. Tell him to get with the program.

If what you want is marriage etc, then tell him. It doesn't have to be next week, or next month or even next year. But tell him that's what you want and that you are planning for it.

He will either
1 - run away
2 - say he's not ready
3 - say he's not ready, but secretly plan stuff
4 - say he's not ready, but come around to your way of thinking after he's had a bit of time to process it
5 - totally get on board wit it

Whatever it is, putting off the discussion, while it might seem the safest approach, is not really helping.

hows that for stepping out of your comfort zone? Risky enough for you?

I told my wife a short while after we moved in together that maybe we should set up a meeting to have a discussion about the possibility of talking about maybe thinking along the lines of sometime in the future being open to a conversation about the possibly remote chance that we might one day get married.

She phone up Crete that night and invited half of the island to our wedding. the church and priest were booked, the venue, food and wine sorted, rings made - all before I even proposed.

So you never really know when someone is going to surprise you ;-)

Thank you!! We've talked about it at all. All he ever says is " I don't know" which is incredibly frustrating. And our first serious talk was 2 years ago. He's still saying he doesn't know. So at some point I may have to cut him lose.

Awww I love that! Your story sounds so sweet heheh! I would love for a surprise, But I don't want to get my hopes up. I let it drive me insane for a very long time haha.

What I would do is tell him you dont want to pressure him in any way and its fine and you will need to keep your options open do you will begin to see other men, he obviously shouldn't expect to have you all to himself, and continue to see him, only if you want to. He'll either step up or he won't. You deserve to be on the path to the relationship you want. I'm working on an article along these lines.

Thank you! You should share it with me once your done! In case I don't see it. I really like that advice. Thank you so much! It helps a lot because this is something I've been really hurting about.

Hi @kaylinart I've published a post about you, check it out if you can, thanks.

30 Best Steemit Bloggers Of The Day To Follow 3rd August 2017

https://steemit.com/steemit/@jzeek/30-best-steemit-bloggers-of-the-day-to-follow-3rd-august-2017

I will, I just saw this, sorry. I wrote some other articles along these lines...I'm running out the door to go to sleep study right now but when I get settled in I'll come back and give you the links. You'll get through this! xoxo

Wow bro your story is fantastic!!!! you are the luckiest man on Earth!!!!!!

hehe thanks. Yes I am, and my wife makes sure to tell me that every day ;-)

lol luckyyyyyy

I usually like to start day with the fun, urgent, but not important tasks.

I am trying to rewire my brain to move towards the hard, important task that will help me achieve my business goals.

I love that! I need to try that! Thank you for this.

Don't let your boyfriend bring you down. You should meet my girlfriend she knows I disappoint her all the time but thats because no one can read minds! Like she cant read mine and I cant read hers

Thank you! I agree we can't read minds! Thats why I'm trying a more straight forward approach. But so far it hasn't worked on his stubborness LOL.


being miserable is quite a choice! We are completely responsible for the state of our temperament and emotions. we cant run around and blame people or the occurrences around our lives for our feelings swinging.....take responsibility and control your feelings. peace and happiness comes from within.

I agree 100% Thats why I go though "Phases" of sadness. I then correct it and move on.

That eclipse... So excited for it! Last weekend I went to Joshua Tree specifically to see the starry night. I'm a dork.

This post really connects with me on a deep level. Awesome post. Upvoted and resteemed.

THank you I'm glad it did :)

Great post, really made me think about my repetitive daily routines that can subconsciously bring my mood down without me really realising.
Upvoted and followed
I'm sure he will pop that special question at the right time :)

Thank you :)
I doubt it, We've been together for 6 years now . At this point he never will . Hhaa I wish He would though.

This deserves some attention. Upvoted and resteemed :]

Thank you :)

Good luck to you. We all go through these funks and life is not as fun as we would like it to be and/or life doesn't go our way.
Keep your head up and things will turn around and you will feel better.
Thanks for sharing.

Hey @kaylinart! I have quite a bit of experience selling on Shopify – I'm actually also setting up a new store to sell t-shirts this week. There are a few apps that can really help you: a countdown timer, a cart abandonment email, and Recently are all a few I'd consider.

I'd love to trade some more ideas if we decide to meet and chat. I've sent you a message on another platform ;-). Maybe we can find some time soon. Sorry to hear that you've felt "miserable" lately – hopefully it's just a quick phase, kind of ​like the upcoming lunar eclipse!

Thank you for your words, I live trapped not in an area of comfort but in a routine that suffocates me. What worries me is that I do not see salinity and my emotional and mental state are at a minimum. I have thought of easy salaries but I am afraid, I want to travel but I can not because of economic problems among other things.
I do not have a girlfriend, I'm not married and that makes me think badly about myself, my aura is negative and I do not know what to do.
I will try to break the routine, I hope soon things will change for me.

I quit my job about 4 years ago, and now a former friend of mine who does what I used to do, is getting married and asked if I could cover for him this month, I couldn't find a good excuse to say no, so I am working and I tell you once you are a bum which is what I have been for the last 4 years working is a very sad experience, all I want right now is for August to end.

I love my routine and often feels anxious if it gets disrupted. Routine makes me feel secure. I know it's an illusion but it does give me a sense of peace and in control of my life. But I do feel restless and bored sometimes and when it happens I would bug my husband to go for a short trip elsewhere.

I hope everything is well between you and your boyfriend :)

I totally agree that having something to look forward to adds excitement in our life. I can almost use the analogy of dating and marriage. When we are new into a relationship, we look forward to many things and then we get married and things start to feel old as the years roll by. Breaking the habit breaks boredom. It's true... we have to constantly do something different, learn something new so we can always feel refreshed about LIFE! Kudos to your post!

Inspiring and so true post!)

Hello my dear friend
I liked your account
I follow you
I'm happy to follow my account
Good luck
@haji

When I looked at the pic of your post, these song lines appeared in my head -
" I used to believe
we are running edge of something beautiful"
Hey sorry may be these are irrelavent to your post...

But, seriously, after reading all these, I highly doubt your boyfriend's commitment with you....

You are right... I don't think he is. It hurts.

But why you are still there? you have every right to step out of someone's life who doesn't deserve you!!!
You have all the right to have all the happiness in the world!!!!

Since a year now I start my day writing down 10 things that I am thankful. Then I workout for 30 min. Could be Yoga or some cardio.
Then when I have my breakfast I write down the goals of the day. Not a to do list...for me "to do"is a must. And a lot of times with a must I go the oppisite way.
And when I feel a bit lost at one moment then I check my Goals of the day-list.
Try to read the book ....he's just not that into you. When I was dating it was really an eyeopener for me.
And before I go to bed I write again 10 things that I am thankful for and send love to 3 people that I truly care about. It's an excersize from Bob Proctor.

And try to enjoy the little things in life. You will get there....I believe in you.

Something good gonna happen to you soon

aww Kaylin thanks for sharing! I totally get what you mean. When things get to comfy they can become boring and routine. Sometimes when I get down, I get on tedtalk.com and listen to motivational people speaking. It seems to help and it gets me inspired to keep working on my own projects.

As for boyfriends and relationships, those are complicated. If your ready for the next move, but he's not, I guess it's important to weigh how long you want to wait around. Time is a precious thing, and if he's not the one it's okay, but staying in limbo forever wouldn't be the best solution. Although, I feel we are both pretty young, and why no just enjoy life too! Love happens when it happens, no point in rushing it. :)

Amazing post. Sad a bit but amazing. I love the part - If you only do what is easy, You can't grow.
When you become too comfortable, You become miserable.
Do what you are avoiding!- Soooo true and i don't know how to get out from there. I wouldn't say my life is miserable but boring a bit for sure cause every day seems the same. Keep going girl. :)

It was so "on time"! At the moment I also feel something like you do. Thank you for this post, t really got me thinking in other way!

@kayliart - Heyyyy - I did not expect a radiant and energetic person like you to say There is nothing to look forward to. I do understand that you feel sad and heartbroken because you expected progressing your relationship to the next level. However, sometimes these things just take time. I can tell you through personal experience that even finding a person that is made for you takes a couple of tries. :) Please cheer up and apply yourself with zest as you usually do. I have heard great things about the Amazon store based business. If you already are into that then it is great. I am sure your T Shirt designs will be amazing. Expecting to see a blog about them soon.

Sorry I have not been able to respond earlier. I was traveling in a remote area with very spotty coverage. I could not see blogs and posting anything myself was a remote possibility. Only today I could post one of my blogs and then could start to catch up on seeing what I missed in blogs over last 3-4 days.

Do take care and feel free to chat with me if it helps. We, the Steemians always stick together through thick and thin.

Been going through a bit of the same myself and it's not an easy cycle to break out of. Instead of breaking out of it, I've been trying to appreciate and count the misery as part of the cycle that will eventually pass. I'm sure you're on the right track.

I must agree , after being forced for an arranged marriage I lost hope in life and everything , I hated my life I hated everyone . I began to give up , until I got pregnant , I told myself that this would be my chance to pick my life back up and do it for him or her , and it's working , he's coming next month and I'm sort of keeping hope . @kaylinart just hand in there , it won't rain forever

I can read between the lines that you are a bit frustrated at the moment, and I know the feeling, to well. I have had the big wedding, I have two growing kids, I had a divorce and when I was turning 40 I was like "whats up now?" "whats next?" And there was nothing. Well at least nothing "big" or exciting. And as you say, we should take every chance to try something new, to do scary things and live our lives fully, every day, and not just when some big event is coming up. Great written post, thanks for sharing!
My best tips today is to go outdoors, nature for me is calming and healing and it always works:-)

Wow you seriously brighten my day with your posts, almost as if you knew what was going on inside my head. Its so easy to get stuck in the habit loop as you said, and I often wish my life was as exciting as the ones I see on my instagram feed. But in the end, we are all fighting an inner battle, and the grass is not greener on the other side. I hope this will motivate me to step out of my comfort zone and take risks without looking back.

Thank you for being a guide. And I will make sure to check your shopify 💙

Awesome, totally agree with you, there's always a need to move out of one's comfort zone to achieve more in life

its a slump when the one you fall for so long isnt as committed as you are but someone else can for sure treasure you even more and youll have no regarts