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The secret to moving on is to always ask yourself this one simple question. In this post, you might be surprised by your own results. Humans live by routine and whats ‘normal’ to us. And quite often, what’s normal becomes something we think about and waste our time over. Especially if it is about a specific person or situation. Since the method to letting go in your personal life is so easy once you get the hang of it, this post will be short and to the point.
Sometimes our emotions get stuck on certain events or people. If your emotions have always felt that way, especially for long amounts of time, they will continue to feel that way. It becomes almost impossible to break out of the routine or normality of caring about someone or something in particular. So, here it is. The pain and simple key question to start caring less and chilling out more:
"Why do I still care?"
By asking yourself this simple question, you are effectively questioning your own psychology. And the strongest way to challenge or eradicate negative thought processes and emotions is to question them. Or further more, to question yourself and your personal identity. Often times, feeling a certain pain or missing a certain someone becomes a part of who we are. As years go by, it becomes natural to feel the same way because it hurts more to try and change it. You might be at the point in your life where it no longer makes sense logically to continue hurting. The time for mourning and loss has passed, but you are still stuck in that phase without even realising it.
Whenever that repetitive memory or pain keeps coming up, and your heart starts calling (especially with ex lovers) always ask yourself that question, and don’t quit until you get an answer. No matter how long it takes. Rather than thinking about what could be, start thinking about why you want it to be. Changing your thought process in this way gives you something real to think about, rather than a fantasy or hope. And if for whatever reason you never find the answer, you most likely don’t have a reason to let go and move on any more. But here’s the good news: This is a positive thing! If you don’t have a legitimate reason to care about someone or something any more, then you can re-train your mind to let go for a logical reason. Rather than to hold on for some fantasy purpose.Let me go over a couple of reasons which are not legit to continue caring about someone:
- Because I love him/her
- Because he/she loved me
- Or because I miss him/her
Neither of these are an excuse or reason to still care any more. Your heart still wants to care, but your mind most likely has a logical reason not to any more. It’s a choice of:
- Heart over mind
OR
- Mind over heart
And if Iv’e learnt anything from life or being in love - It’s that in those desperate times of pain, loss and nostalgia - you should always chose mind over heart. Asking myself this question every day has definitely changed my life and made me re-think my priorities. Try it out some time.