I grew up together with my brother in a very turbulent yet apparently rewarding environment. The children of a retired air force computer tech with a masters degree in alcoholism. Daddy has a type A personality with violent outbursts and sociopathic tendencies. He could never keep a job, our family had to always live with my grandparents because my parents repeatedly got evicted. Memories include everything from cleaning up his urine off the front door to telling us he'd slit our mother fu**ing throats little c**k suckers if we spilled our milk. Also with his lack of work we would get out of school and meet dad at the bar. He'd get wasted, we'd make sure he didn't get run over on the way home. In elementry school we weren't allowed to use the stove so we would dissolve bullion cubes in warm sink water when he forgot to feed us since we weren't allowed to use the stove.
Thus being said the two of us can handle ourselves. We are two completely different people my brother and I, but we are both hard workers who will do whatever it takes to figure out a problem or situation. We are doers. We are workers. We play hard (he's a little more hard core than me lol) but we never are without or in a position to need from others. We respect our elders and help others. I believe we are good people. We are survivors. We are both very sociable and enjoy other people. I'm the brains and he's the brawn. I have technical jobs and he works with his hands.
My father made us both get jobs at 14 and pay rent. From there the rent increased every year to include food and cable tv. We bought our own school clothes and paid for our own field trips.
I once lived in my car for over a year when my father kicked me out. I worked 70 hours a week. Drove to the wooded area where several of my friends camped with me. We had to steal food from time to time to survive. We didn't have any tents but it was a private area where we could have a fire. I'd get home around 1am pass out, get up jump in the pond to wash up and head back to work. Eventually I earned enough to get a small apartment.
Once when I was out of work with double carpel tunnel surgeries we went an entire year without a stove. With me not working my husband's paycheck just wasn't able to stretch to fill the propane tank. So I bought an electric toaster oven in a yard sale. I cut my muffin tins in half. I found a pie pan fit perfectly in there also. I made full delicious meals in that for a little over a year. Even casseroles and custards. Survival.
Now we come to my baby sister. She is 10 years younger than me and 8 years younger than my brother. My father was incarcerated on a cocaine charge just a few short months after she was born. When he came home he backed way off of the bar scene, still no job (he's only 64 but he hasn't worked since 89)He would sit around and watch tv, sometimes he'd play dice with the neighbors. I of course was the second mom, at 10 years old who had to feed, change and watch the baby on top of all my other chores and schoolwork.
Ok, so she is the epitomy of "the baby of the family" and spoiled in every way. The things she said to my father as a teen blew my mind that she got away with. My brother and I would have gotten hit with the 2x4. She was a terrible student, pot smoker and kleptomaniac. She was arrested a couple times for stealing, my parents rescued and defended her. Her boyfriends were allowed at the house and in her room. She had no chores. My parents constantly gave her money and drove her around.
She has an almost non existent work history. So 7 years ago she has a kid. The father's a druggy psyco with a no contact order. She has the baby c-section and they give her percocets for pain (which I thought was weird) anyway she starts snorting them like her friend said to kill the pain. After a couple months she has complications with her bowels and scar tissue and is in and out of the hospital for a couple months leaving her with a well developed opiate addiction.
She robbed my parents and anyone else she could to feed her addiction because she didn't work. She was a stripper at parties sometimes for people she'd never met in sometimes very dangerous areas. Several times I had to bring her pants after she dedicated in them because she couldn't get her fix. She crashed her car once but luckily wasn't hurt. She signed her daughter over to me several times as she wrestled partying and being a mom. After 4 trips to rehab and the threat of jail, she's now 29 years old and 4 years clean.
Now here's the deal. Mom works a 40+ hr week. Dad hasn't worked since the 80's and doesn't qualify for social security. They also have custody of my nephew but that's a story for a different day. My sister has her own 2 bedroom 1 bath apartment upstairs from my parents. She doesn't work. She doesn't help around the house, and my dad is becoming demented, has had several heart attacks is insulin dependent diabetic and quite often can't feel his legs. She gets food stamps but doesn't share with the household, she has her own personal stock pile upstairs. They pay for her car insurance and repairs, they pay for her phone card and cigarette cartridges. They pay for everything my niece needs for school or anything else.
When she does get child support she's allowed to spend it however she wants because it's hers. She Bought a PS4 and games since she's a hermit and sent my niece with a pilot up in a Cessna at our local airport because she wanted to go in a plane. Mind you her car is a piece of crap she inherited from my dad. It's one of the many reasons she says she can't get a job. Although she lives in the middle of a suburban city with an unlimited number of low entry level places to work.
I am noticing these same trends with my daughter and nephew. My daughter is an honor roll student with goals for the future. My nephew is not book smart but he's working on a cooking degree for his future. However they are the laziest, bitchiest complainers! Like my sister there's no drive, no fire, no ambition. Where's the inherent cave man fight to survive? If they want something they ask, if they are turned down they'll give up! They have no ambition to negotiate terms or do things to get what they want. They just give up and bitch about it for the next week. I'm trying to give my kid a solid foundation and make sure she can take care of herself, however she's not attached to anything and she would really take a nap on the floor if you took everything away and gave her an ultimatum. I think we are definitely a spoiled country but I hope these kids ideals and ethics change with age.
Thanx for listening and Blessed BE
I like your post.
I upvoted you.