"I suffer from anxiety": 8 truths that only anxious can understand

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For people suffering from panic and anxiety disorders, everyday life can be more difficult to live than one imagines. They face the chilling fear of specific events, the creeping thoughts of a panic attack and persistent physical symptoms ... and it can be all the more difficult to live with. impression that no one else understands how it feels.

According to Todd Farchione, a clinical psychologist at the Center for Anxiety and Related Disorders at Boston University, there are some stigmas that society has created for anxiety victims, but also more opportunities to overcome them. . From sentences sensitive to intense fears, here are eight things that anxious people are familiar with (and what we can all do to help them).

How "calm down" thinking is unbearable

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The thought that is the least likely to calm an anxious person is to tell him to calm down. In fact, it can even make the situation worse. According to Todd Farchione, research shows that trying to calm down in the midst of an anxiety attack may actually increase the original emotional response at the moment. In the end, by trying not to be afraid, the person concerned may be subject to a more intense reaction to what frightens them.

Rather than encourage a person with anxiety to calm down, Todd Farchione suggests offering his support to show that we understand what the person is going through. "To tell someone to 'calm down' is the worst of ideas - especially because it does not give them any solution to achieve it," he says. "If they could calm down, they would - that's a far too simplistic vision of emotions. A better strategy would be to ask questions like, 'What makes you react like this?' By formulating it and thinking about it, in a general way, they can cope with it more effectively. "

Panic attacks are never timely.

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It's a day like any other. You are about to step out of the door when suddenly your chest contracts. You are quickly overgrown with fear - it's almost unbearable. And you can not do anything about it.

Some panic attacks come from nowhere, without any warning sign, while others are caused by fear, formed by the confrontation of a situation capable of creating anxiety. No matter when it happens (or how the experience affects you personally ), it's never pleasant - and it's rarely timely. "When you're touched by this kind of disorder, it's absolutely debilitating," says Todd Farchione. "Partly because we are aware that what we are experiencing is purely irrational, but we have learned to deal with these situations in a certain way. Confusion is therefore a natural answer to these experiences. And it can be scary. "

Physical symptoms may unexpectedly occur.

Anxiety is not just a gangrener of the mind: physical symptoms can also come from anxiety disorders. A 2007 New Zealand study of participants with inflammation of the digestive system suggests a link between anxiety disorders and the development of irritable bowel syndrome . The high level of stress commonly associated with anxiety can also cause symptoms ranging from hives and rash to vertigo and dryness of the mucous membranes .

Fear has another meaning.

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When faced with anxiety, all fears are magnified to an extreme level - and it is not always possible to get rid of them. Flying or entering a room full of strangers can be insurmountable, and there is no quick fix.

As Child Psychiatrist Allison Baker says, we are all uncomfortable with uncertainty . However, people with anxiety disorders experience a deeper fear. "We all experience anxiety on a certain level, It helps us prepare to speak in public and motivates us to repeat and do our scales; everyone knows what this experience looks like. Anxiety disorder is when these little hassles become a daily chronicle experience. "

To help a victim overcome what terrifies them, many people try to avoid the triggers of this anxiety. Nevertheless, according to Todd Farchione this empathy can also reinforce the mechanisms of fear. "It's a complex situation - you want to understand your harm, but it can get your family and friends to make arrangements, which can be a bad thing," he says. Relatives may be sensitive to the fear of the person concerned, for example by getting rid of any germs or avoiding frightening situations so as not to cause anxiety. "It does not help - in fact, it fuels fear," says Todd Farchione. "[By this attitude], we show that fear is valid and rational,

Being anxious is not just about being stressed.

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When you tell someone that you have anxiety disorders, their first reaction is to try to understand what you are experiencing (even though stress and anxiety may be different depending on each person ). This expression of empathy is a natural reaction, but as people with anxiety disorders know, it is not always of the greatest use.

Studies have shown that stress is a contagious emotion . Attempting to absorb someone's suffering - even if it's with positive intentions - according to Keith Humphreys, professor of psychiatry at Stanford University, is doing more harm than good. "It's important not to weigh on each other," said Keith Humphreys at the American HuffPost . "If both people are anxious, they can make each other feel worse. If the person is struggling to control his anxiety, try not to take his trouble for yourself even if you think it could help him. "

How tiring it can be to think too much (but you can not do anything about it).

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It's a vicious circle: your thoughts become your fears and your fears become your thoughts. But being obsessed can have its consequences, according to a study published in the journal PLOS One. Researchers have discovered that mulling negative thoughts is one of the biggest triggers of depression and anxiety, and the psychological response to an event is even more important than the event itself.

Todd Farchione suggests seeking help if the person concerned is too lost in the negative. "These emotions [that are felt by people with anxiety] are real," he explains. "They were not created in their heads."

Your phobia can be a subject of amusement.

As Todd Farchione reminds us, many of us take pleasure in teasing people with phobias, for example by showing a spider image to an individual with arachnophobia. Whether one has the intention or not to be cruel, Todd Farchione recommends exploring his empathetic side before making a joke. "Think about the fact that these fears, however irrational and difficult to understand, are very real for the person concerned," he says. "It is better to consider it with courtesy and respect."

The feeling of discomfort that can accompany a bottle of pills

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A stigma may be related to the treatment of emotional and mental disorders by medications - and those who go through medications to overcome their anxiety probably experience this feeling of discomfort that accompanies the absorption of pills. As Tom Wootton, a speaker and expert on mental health, Tom Wootton writes in his Psychology Today blog, stigma is another sign of fear of uncertainty. "You can be scared of a lot of things, but the worst fears are about what you do not know," he wrote.. "The combination of fear and ignorance is so powerful that many people think that fear is just another word for ignorance ... But when we understand the fear and the role that it plays in our case, we can make it a tool rather than let it destroy us. "

Todd Farchione wants to point out that there is always a way to overcome anxiety, whether through medications, therapy or both. There are different methods of treatment - it's just about finding what works best for you. "It's possible to find help and there is more than one option at hand," he says. "We can escape. There is no reason for anyone to suffer so much.