YOU’LL NEVER BELIEVE WHERE I WAS BORN!!

People often tell me I should write a book, and I’ve wondered, but then thought, where do I start? What’s interesting about my life? What do I even write about? What’s more to say? My life is already public. I do have lots of strong opinions, and I do like to rant, but still, what would I even blog about? Do I just start at day one of my life?

One summer evening my 16 year old birthmom labored into the morning. I was born in a one bedroom apartment with no windows in a downtown Salt Lake City, Utah old-factory business building, that was known as the Dixon building to Order members back in 1988, but is now the big building attached to Squatters bar! BUT my birth certificate says I was born wayyy across town at my grandparents house in Kearns! #magic Why did my parents have to lie about that? Was the apartment not supposed to be a place of residence? I know I was born at the Dixon building (aka the old chocolate factory) because I was told my birth story multiple times by a few different people, and no one ever said I was born at my grandparents house, except my birth certificate…and I remember living there until I was 4 years-old!

Dixon Paper Company 1986, 159 W 300 S SLC, UT – J.G. McDonald’s Chocolate Co. 1924, 159 w 300 s SLC, UT – Both pics used by permission from the Utah State Historical Society.

WAIT –just a thought– was it because my birth mom was 16 years old and the man who impregnated her was over 30? Nah, there’s nothing wrong with that, right? #thesarcasmisthick No reason to even hide that fact or raise suspicion that a 16 year-old delivered a baby in the basement of the historic J. G. McDonald Chocolate factory… WAIT … the brain wheels are turning… I just had another epiphany … they were probably worried it’d look like a sex ring down there or a factory of human trafficking…. BUT don’t worry, it’s not that at all! These 15 and 16 year-olds are in love with their 30 year old spiritual husbands, and they would like everyone to bow out of their life so they can be “consenting adults” in their marriage as a plural wife…. at least that’s what I heard my birthmom and her entourage say in their video with senator Debakis (2017) #icantevengothere

One of Utah’s Historical Buildings 2017, 159 s 300 w Salt Lake City, Utah

Anyways back to day one for me in the basement of a building that was my 16 year old mom’s one bedroom apartment…. I was told I was 15 days late, which is ironic my sperm DNA came from Daniel who is #15 as a numbered man in the order … yes the numbers are a thing I’ll have to explain later…

Or now, because I don’t even know what I’m gonna focus this blog on anyways… I just keep getting so many people asking me to write a book so a blog seemed like a good compromise….

The Order is a magical place that God’s luckiest and most loved children get to be a part of on this earth, where they can build God’s kingdom in the most blessed place on earth, and then be the only people who return to the highest degree of glory in Heaven to live with God in eternal happiness !!! Yahoo… yes, we were part of God’s most chosen and loved… just so lucky to be born into the Order!!

Me as a baby with my teen mother Heidi – Picture courtesy of my photo album

Sorry you missed out, it’s probably hard for the millions of God’s other children on this earth to realize they were second class citizens in God’s eyes compared to us… but anyways, yes, I was so lucky to be born in this group and apparently somehow chosen in Heaven…. and in this group, the men have numbers kinda like a ranking with #1 being over #2 and so on… so my sperm DNA being from #15 is kind of a BIG deal !! It’s like God is 0 and my sperm DNA came from the 15th man from God … waaooohh #mindblown and my mom is tied into her “spiritual husband’s” number and her children tied in through her…. everyone who’s going back to Heaven needs a number and needs to be tied into a numbered man through their father, their husband, or yourself, if you’re one of God’s most loved men!! It’s like getting a number ticket in the DMV line and using that golden ticket to be ranked in the order of importance… oh, the brain wheels are spinning… so is that where the name THE ORDER came from, because we’re all in a numerical order??? Hmm, I don’t know, maybe that was part of the inspiration for the name… well, I know the name came from being the United Order … I’ll explain in another post…

John Daniel Kingston #15 – Picture courtesy of my sister Shanell

Oh another fun fact with numbers … and a little ironic slap in the face to #15 my sperm DNA Mr Daniel Kingston himself… I left the order when I was 15 #poetic … oooohh maybe I could be like an order member and assume it was some BIG plan of Gods that I was born to #15’s family, 15 days late, and left the order at 15 years old, only to turn around and point out how ridiculous they are while helping others leave the same BS… maybe it was God’s big plan and He decided to use their own nonsense logic against them! I will have to ask Him when I get to Heaven, OH WAIT… I almost forgot I’m “son of perdition” bound now, or daughter in my case, but destined to everlasting darkness that’s worse than Hell #darn… well, I’ll just send a letter to God then when I get to the other side… He should respond right? Cuz He still loves me right?

Gosh, I started off in one of His most loved families on earth, in His one and only “true” kingdom of God here on earth… so I’ve gotta be worth something still, right? Oh crap I forgot, my birth mother/childhood mother Heidi told me that I lose my birthright if I chose to leave the Order #bummer I guess I’m no longer loved by God, lost that birthright when I decided to leave the abuse I received in my kingdom of God family!! #wellthatsharsh In hindsight I don’t know what’s better: to be so blessed to be born into the Order, where I was abused, so I left, and now I’m doomed to sons [daughters] of perdition; or be unblessed and born to some random family of the world where I could stay or leave, whatever, and still at least get to earn my way to the bottom degree of glory in the Telestial Kingdom in my after life #caniexchangemylife #kingstonpolygamyproblems #didireallysignupforthis

Speaking of polygamy problems … my birth certificate had some random made-up name. #fraud Now how would I have some random last name of Foster when nobody I know had the name Foster? And where did they come up with my made up father named Micheal Foster that they put on my birth certificate? #morefraud I always hoped it wasn’t made up and some day my “real” father would show up and rescue us all … but no it was all FAKE to mislead the fact we were Kingston polygamist kids of Daniel Kingston !! #lies #itsoktolietoprotecttheorder

So for 15 years of my life I lived in polygamy as Stephanie Foster, I’ll have to explain in another post why I changed my name to Jessica at the age of 18… Fifteen years may not seem like much, BUT it was my whole childhood… in fact, all my childhood memories are in polygamy, and being raised in the Kingston Order group was far from a healthy childhood!! #againdidireallysignupforthis

The top two are entries from my mother Heidi into my baby book about the day and place I was born! The Bottom is a copy of my Birth Certificate (after I changed my name to Jessica), and I will forever have a fraudulent address as my place of birth.

When I left at 15 years old, I had no sense of self, and even lost my name when the judge ordered my fake last name be changed to my sperm DNA’s last name of Kingston… so I became Stephanie Kingston. It was horrible to be a teenager and targeted as a polygamist with my case all over the news in 2004-2005! So I requested to take my mom’s maiden name instead, and became Stephanie Mattingly! I changed schools and no one knew me from the news anymore! I was able to fit in and be a normal teenager… except the fact I had like no social skills, was known as a foster kid — not cuz my fake last name– but because I was in foster care, and anytime I dreamed about a boy or touched a boy at school, I’d start to panic that it meant I was supposed to marry them #thankspolygamy

Yes, the dreams are a thing in the Order polyg culture… it’s like your dreams are magical crystal balls, where God is telling you your future …. most specifically, who you have direction on (some ex-members insert “erection” here because it fits, as you’ll see). Direction is typically in the form of a dream, God telling you who is your “number one choice for marriage”! So basically, you dream about the person, it is ‘direction’, and then you talk to your father about if you’re supposed to marry them!

Dad says yay or nay… and well, it’s a process … so I pretty much had direction on every guy and girl I’d hang out with each day … it was all very confusing … WAIT .. brain wheels… so our ancestors had this same confusion and resolved it by deciding to just marry them all, and call it plural marriage … #itsallmakingsensenow hmm well that would sure resolve the man’s dilemma of multiple directions [erections]!

Are you still with me? As you can see, polygamist life in the Order is very confusing, and so is my life! I really haven’t a clue where to start a book, what is important or interesting to include, and even what exactly to focus this blog on….. so I’m just gonna let my mind wander while I find my niche, and probably share some very random ramblings of my brain, my childhood, opinions, and life experiences!