Did you go on a posting hiatus so you can craft this marvelous masterpiece? I feel you didn't need to, but I'm just glad that you came back with this one. 'Hilarious' doesn't even do this post justice. If I follow your advice to a tee, but end up with a differing result, could I get my 99.95 STEEM back? I did touch my chest during presentations a few times before, sliding it down sensually for good measure. Let's just say I was met with looks of disgust.

Something as simple as mispelling words in a Steemit article can humanize you and get you an avalanche of upvotes

I used to do this but ended up with contrasting results. While I wanted people to feel like I am human instead of being a literary god, I feel like they misinterpreted it as 'me no talk english good.' I shake my head as the sound of crickets echo in the background. Not even a tiny violinist showed up for that.