I want to share the knowledge from the book i read and write my reflection of every topic. I want to understand the people around me; to help them as long as I can. From this, by sharing my little little knowledge I also want to share and make your own opinion.
In the experience of repeated failure, there is a conflict, fear, frustration, pain and ultimately some of self-hatred. So, as human being we try to escape for the reality and the pain and never do the same mistake again.
This chapter we will talk about the — How Person Adjust The Painful Reality. All of us— we faced the different sides of the painful reality. We find a ways how to get through form the situation, and try our best to avoid pain.
We extremely resourceful in adjusting to various situation, as a human organism. It is a way to us to compensation for losses and attempting to recover.
The following below, this is the different way to adjust the painful of reality.
###Exaggerating Or Bragging
A self-flattery with the intended purpose of achieving recognition and sense of worth, both in one’s own eyes and the eyes of others. They are trying to present their credentials as the price of admission, because they believe that love and recognition are the conditional to be accepting in the community.
A Critical Attitude
They are the person who does not love themselves, they adapt to their condition by becoming a critic of others, always finding and pointing out their faiults. But really, when they accuse they are just having self-accusations.
Rationalisation
They are the one who live without love of self and has no sense of personal worth and their only assumed worth rests on their ability to perform. When they’re admitting their mistake, it will mean so much pain and ego.
Perfectionism
They are the person who attempts with meticulous perfection. Their treadmill is to measure up to the expectations of those who can give them recognition.
Shyness
They fear criticism, they are evaluating of their own self, and their fears of rejection in the end. To avoid the pain, they make a wall of their self to protect by veiling of shyness.
Self-Depreciation
They paint to their self that they will not expect too much from the others, it refrain from the criticism, and maybe even extended sympathy.
Anger
They are the one who hate themselves from inadequacy and futility because of the sense of personal worthlessness. The angered of themselves will form into a depression and despondency.
Defensive Docility
It is another adjustment to absence the painful reality is to become a submissive observer of every regulation, law, and the rule with mechanical precision. They attempt to be completely good and obedient person.
Becoming A Loner
They are imposing all the same old, tiring conditions for recognition and love. They want to avoid exhausting of the people around them, for it is safer— to go on alone.
Over-Achieving
They are attempting to achievement of “great deeds” to own big and magnificent things, in the hopes that these will get attention and recognition from the people.
Mask, Roles, Facades
They been hurt and wants to risk no further vulnerability. For themselves they already received and knows the conditional love can not tolerate too much criticism of his action, opinions, or person.
Introjection
They are dissatisfying of themselves, they felt worthless and tend to identify with someone else.
Absolute Agreeability
They are the one who cannot love themselves— so they play being a nice person all the time. It’s not a genuine feelings, it is sad and compromising.
Cynicism, suspicion
They believe and trust no one. Extends and projects his own self-distrust in the blind belief that everyone is like him. They are the person who have no value of themselves— no trust within themselves.
Timidity
It refers to reluctance to venture, to undertake new projects. They are the one who afraid to love and also afraid to be loved back, because they are afraid of the danger of ultimate failure and rejection.
Everyone of us we had uniqueness and unconditional value, but sometimes we reflect ourselves in the eyes of other people. So we spend the rest of our lives trying to escape through one of the devices described above.
Lot of people are having depression and sadness right now, lack of self-loving and criticism by the judgement of other person. One to hide the reality and wish they are not born.
But you know what is the solution of that? Just pray to Him and take the first step to your journey— by accepting of who you are, what you are. Don’t mind the opinions of others and live your life because of yourself and no one. Love yourself and live to the fullest.
You can also read my other post it’s about Self- Loving.
https://steemit.com/life/@jcleff/the-start-of-satisfying-yourself-is-to-true-and-deep-love-of-self
Book Sources
“The Secret of Staying in Love by John Joseph Powell”
Yours Truly,
@jcleff