I have a friend who tells me he wants to shave all of his hair off. Now, this is not a one-off thing, the same topic of conversation has persisted for over six months, and I'm sure several months if not years passed with him with this idea in his mind, this itch. Every time he asks I tell him the same thing, "DO IT". He says he wants to feel the freedom no hair would allow him to have, he wants to try something new, but he keeps saying he's waiting to reinvent himself. Maybe after university, when he moves to another country he will do it. I asked why would it have to take that much for him to make this simple change to his appearance, and his answer was that he wasn't comfortable with the comments of his other friends, what would they think, they'd probably mock him and what not.
This person I know since we're 4 years old, and it honestly saddens me that he feels like he owes something as personal as his appearance to the world, or those around him. To be honest, if you're reading, I'm going to say it again DO IT. The world couldn't care less if you got a bald head or not, your friends are going to love you no matter what, even if at first all they do is mock you. Those who persist the mockery either aren't really your friends or they have some deeper self-esteem issues they have to deal with by themselves.
I also know that just like my friend there are millions with a similar issue. I want them to know that their duty is to put their happiness first, I want them to know that nothing this society tells you, that makes you feel less, matters. All that does matter is that you're healthy and strive to be a better person every day.
He tells me that he likes talking to me about certain topics because of how open-minded I am, because I now live abroad and he craves something different than what his environment is providing him with. I have to say that moving abroad after growing up in a small town changed the way I look at life, but I always had this itch of moving to another country, always had this dream of being by myself in a world to discover. But I was a lot like him you could say, I did care what others thought was cool, but as I grew older it mattered less and less. I was called a weirdo because I went to the cinema by myself to watch a movie nobody else wanted to see. I was called a weirdo because I made green smoothies before it was the hip thing to drink...I didn't really care, I knew both things were good for me and made me happy. The "You do you" phrase, wherever it came from, is so true. You can't keep doing whatever makes others happy before you do what makes you happy. Once you realize you're more than good enough for yourself, you're free, choose this path, choose yourself over everything else, you get to be selfish when it comes to your own wellness and peace of mind.
This is a picture of me getting my first tattoo, an idea I had in the back of my mind for a while, until I finally did it! P.S. I have no idea why that deo bar is in there...
I do know that everything isn't black and white, there's a place for all of us in the grey area, that's why I encourage getting to know yourself first, listen to your subconscious because most of the time its screaming at you words of wisdom that you may be choosing to ignore, or its so buried down that you don't even know how to listen.
It is more important to stay true to yourself than the friends you may lose.
For more on how to listen to your Subconscious click here. A little something I put together with a helpful guide for a simple and short meditation to tap into that wisdom you already got.
Love,
Hauff xx