I've kind of lost...
touch with myself these past months. Yes, I've grown in many ways, but this stopping point and transition I have been in is showing me that I have buried things away. It is ok. Many of us do this.
Coming back to my parents home who passed away a few years ago has triggered a lot of things in me. I am starting to see things I have known, but kind of put aside. Anger, darkness, blame and a touch of chaos have surfaced in recent days. Maybe I have unjustly attacked my family. I don't necessarily need to revisit old patterns, but I am feeling to get back into my compassion, forgiveness, my humanity. Right now I am in the process of releasing attachments to my birth family. I've been over and over this with them and it is coming time to let it all go. It doesn't serve me to stay locked in this. I guess this is part of how I have grown. I can see this clearly from a more conscious place now. I don't need to spend more years dwelling on any of this. It is feeling like a completion of perhaps a cycle is coming to it's conclusion as I move into a better version of myself.
This is part of it. It is time for me to go to a place where I can renew myself, release, communicate with a deeper love and let the people I grew up with, my siblings, go and be as they are without carrying this anger towards them.
It is not for me to judge or try to correct anything. I am at a pivotal point in my life and I can feel this true peace that is seeking me. In the coming months I will be moving more into my heart and letting the silence guide me on what I want to do and create in this world. Anger serves a purpose, but as a friend and I were discussing when we move too far into the deep end of it, it becomes reckless and controls us rather than to be used as a positive motivator.
Just wanted to share a little. Thank you and much love❤
Well written.
Take care of yourself!
@janikmoody Thank you❤
You‘re welcome
Chosing to release that which no longer servers our higher good is difficult. Whether it's relationships, foods, or habits. Deciding to make choices based on what is best for me rather than trying to make choices based on what society tells me is right.
I know anger can undermine progress, it is essentially an attachment to an event. I find myself happyist when my mind is clearly focused on a positive future.
True. I find in small, conscious doses it can be a fantastic motivator. Not as a consistent source of motivation, but as needed. The trick is being able to put it away and move on, to not stay stuck in it.
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