Ask Myself: What Kind Of Freedom I Am Looking For?

One day morning, I got out of our bed and told him something I wanted to let him know long time ago when I was wearing dressing gown, 'it's time to be free! I need freedom.' I had a weird dream the night before yet it gave me energy to speak it out and be a different person to start a brand new day.He was shocked and couldn't even speak one word. I looked at him. He looked so tired as he was back home late after work.

He grasped my arm tightly and let me sit next to him on our vintage leather couch. He hurt me so much when holding my arm with his big palm. He looked into my eyes with intenseness, 'What kind of freedom you are looking for? Why suddenly you become a person I can't recognise anymore?'

He owns four international companies, and also is a good-looking guy that girls probably will fall in love with him easily. He spoiled me like nobody else could do. More than that, we didn't have to worry about our future as he was the right one who could take care of my whole life for sure. Such an ideal man you might think.

What were in his mind though? Retire before 40 and he is only 28; Have properties around the world; build up his own business kingdom. He was really working on it and seemed everything go very well. The story sounds like our life would be so secure with tons of money. But I never saw his smile since we were together. He didn't feel secure at all actually. He kept thinking that people approached him because of his money. He has depression since a little kid.He also doubted our love always... He couldn't see those shadows but I could feel them. Anyway, he still believed that money could bring us 'freedom'.

No matter how I explained, he definitely couldn't understand. Money is important, but actually the freedom I need is freedom from fear, insecurity, control, and the pain that I bring from my past....

_{Picture was from Google.}