Hey Mav, it truly saddens me to read this. I think I know you a little by now, and can tell you for sure that you have loads of people caring about you and loving you, me included. All you have to do is to read all these comments here to realize that you are someone who's very much appreciated. I'm so sorry that you feel lost, useless and helpless.
I do have some tougher words for you, however, and I'm sorry but you need to hear them. My best friend lost her little brother to suicide, and her and her family's life has never been the same ever since. Suicide destroys families, forever. Parents blame each other for it, and everyone ends up psychologically scarred.
I know you have a sister too and I'm sure you wouldn't want to put her or your family through this, so please seek the professional help that you need, be it therapy or medication if you have depression, but you need to look for help outside of friends and family circles. I wish you strength and courage my dear friend and if you need someone to talk to, I'm here!
Oh Eve seeing all the wonderful messages left here make me indeed see that a lot of people do care.
It is me that is the problem. The one that feels so helpless and worthless. I can't see who I am at this point.
I have been talking to my therapist for some months now but feel we are in an impasse. Nothing is working. words or drugs. Even prayers feel that it is not working Eve.
I am so lost on what to with my life right now and all I want to do is hide away.
if you could be anyone or anything, without limitations (of course still within reason), what would it be? What makes you forget your life just for an instant? Kickboxing? Gaming? You need to find something that you love doing and that gives you purpose. Everyone has something, I know you do too!
I would say I want to open a restaurant again. I was really happy in managing and buying ingredients when I was in the restaurant business.
ok perfect =) I'm glad you quit your job because it made you miserable =) This new project seems like a much better fit for you! and please make sure it has at least one vegan option ahahahah
One vegan option, but the other 99% all meat!
vegan or vegetarian offers better profit margins, because meat/fish is expensive and needs to be cared for properly not to make you sick (frozen, or properly refrigerated etc). Veggie restaurants make more money because they sell their dishes at the same price, just without the hassle =)