@Santosha wow. In some ways you are a great deal more abundant than me. Your situation is tenuous, yet you have this gratitude inside yourself for what you do have, which is riches all by itself. I would have a great deal of work to do on myself to be in the space you hold. Your words are raw and honest and real and you can imagine the Wow emoticon if you like.
I have walked some very dark paths to come to where I am and I know you must have also been through some dark nights of the soul. I just want to encourage you to keep taking whatever positive action you can to move towards what you desire in life. This has been my path. Many small steps, day by day, sometimes feeling very lost. But I shaped myself inside with persistent determination because that was where the real problem was, totally inside me was the poverty.
And then, as they say, when the student is ready the teacher arrives ... and an opportunity appeared ... and now I am in a huge transformation because of my mentor, who is helping me build a flow-based business around what I am here to do, which I was not able to market in the ordinary way. The failure was heartbreaking but I understand its value now.
If you would like to follow the journey I do share a lot about abundance, not about money, but about real abundance, and how money and the other more tangible things are a natural side effect of living your truth and finding way to give great service to the world in that space.
Maybe you've already seen my daily videos but if you haven't, just flick through my feed and you'll see, I think you'll find more inspiration there. If you do Facebook I'd be happy to connect with you there, that's where everything is happening and I can connect you with my mentor's free group which has been life changing for me.
The information and advice I get is top-notch, incredibly generous, and utterly unexpected and real and practical and completely no bullshit. Here's a sample, about How to make it happen when you feel overwhelmed or have no idea how to proceed
My best wishes to you Santosha.