wise words, steph! i agree that marriage is a destroyer of relationships. it makes people complacent and lazy. in my relationship, i actually asked him to be my boyfriend (!) -- not forever, just for the summer... and at the end of the summer, we reevaluated and recommitted. now we do that at the end of every season, but without assuming the answer will be yes! it keeps us on our toes, and keeps us in an constant state of courtship! we've done this every season for 8+ years so far, and i must say, it seems far more fun to be his girlfriend than a "wife." i really value that we both want to be with each other forever, and yet don't feel the need to externally validate it with a marriage license. it's so freeing...