@michaelbkearney, I can't even imagine growing up in such a large family. Although I grew up around a large number of cousins who were in and out at all times, I was actually an only child... positive in the sense that I probably got more attention, not so positive in the sense that I was 100% recipient of my mother's "child improvement projects."
Overall, time has helped see more clearly how pretty much all our relationships turn out to be a mixture of "good" and "bad;" I am far more able to look through the lens of passing time and appreciate the positives my mother left in my life... which pop up almost every time I try to cook something new or even slightly "fancy."
I hear ya. It's different looking back at it it later in life. There were times I felt my folks were in over their head, but they pressed on. They never quit, never gave up, and stayed focused on their goal.
It's remarkable when I compare it to a lot of modern day families. My father said he wouldn't even attempt it today. "I couldn't afford it!" He's still going at 94.
One of my brothers said if he talked to our parents like a lot of kids talk to theirs today, he wouldn't be here to say that. Our parents stayed in control by behaving like drill sergeants. I think they did well in the long run. The discipline and being strict was good. I was just one of those who liked coloring outside the lines. :-)