A Dane in America: Reflections on 35 Years of Living in the USA as a Foreigner

After some 35+ years of living in the USA, I sometimes wonder why it is that I still don't feel entirely at home in this country. After all, this is my home now, and I have lived here longer than anywhere else in the world.

College: Hey, I'm Just VISITING!

I first came to the US in 1981 to attend university, in Austin, Texas. Originally, I was just going to stay for four years to complete my degree, and then return to my native Denmark. However, along the way I met an American woman and got married, and after I graduated college it somehow "happened" that I started building a life in the US, rather than Denmark.

One thing led to another, and in no time at all I found myself involved in a small import business, having a mortgage and following the American Dream of taking on lots and lots of consumer debt!

In spite of this, I never quite stopped thinking of myself as "Danish," and would head back for vacation and family visits in "the old country" about once a year or so.

The Very LONG Visit...

Don't get me wrong, I love my "adopted" country. I live here entirely by choice; nobody has forced me to be here.

Along the way, I have met many fellow immigrants from Denmark; from the rest of Europe, and beyond... and the one thing many of us seem to share is the fact that no matter how much we may love our new country and feel like Americans, there is always some small part of us that still feels like "foreigners," right down to the fact that we tend to refer to visits to our birth countries as "going home."  

It's a bit strange to think about, since the population of the US is-- ultimately-- made up almost entirely of people who have moved here from somewhere else.

So what gives? Why do immigrants so seldom feel completely settled?

It's the Little Things that Matter

I believe that no matter how favorable or adverse the circumstances surrounding your immigration may be, there will always be certain parts of your "old" life that were somehow better than your new life in the US. At the very least, there are things you'll end up feeling strangely nostalgic about.

There may be certain aspects of your childhood culture; maybe certain foods; maybe you miss certain nuances of your old language-- whatever it is, it does set immigrants up to harbor and assortment feelings of longing for small elements of another time and place in their lives; feelings you simply wouldn't know, if you were "native born" in the US.

For me, it's a strange mixture of stuff. The way butter tastes different. The incredibly long summer days. The way public spaces are sound insulated so they are relatively quiet, not a cacophany of noise. The fact that there are lots of clocks in public view, so you don't need to wear a watch. Public transportation that really works. The smoked fish. The beech forest in the spring. I miss the Danish bread, and the small bakeries found in almost every town and village, and the way we'd go buy fresh baked goods almost every morning as part of "normal life." There are others, but I'll stop now...

Dreams... and Reality

Even if our lives in the US are close to perfect, and we are living "The American Dream," these little longings frequently tug at the corners of our awareness.

Ironically, even though I make my living from "the capitalistic way," I sometimes miss the core of Danish culture that places less emphasis on every aspect of living as a "commercial opportunity." I miss the idea that it doesn't make you lazy if you're not thinking about work, every waking moment of your life... and it's not "wrong" to take seven weeks of vacation per year.

As I stated previously, I have met many fellow immigrants along the way, and the thing that seems to tie us is this occasional reflection on little things we "miss." Doesn't mean we want to leave, just that there are certain things we wish were different.

I know many of you who read these pages don't live in the country where you were born-- so I invite you to reflect on how you feel about your "new" home, and whether there are things you miss from before. Maybe there aren't, and that's certainly OK, too!

How about YOU? Are you currently living away from your country of birth? How long have you lived there? Are there things you miss, where you are now? What are they? Do you still think about your nativ country as "home?" Leave a comment-- share your experiences-- start the conversation!

(As usual, all text and images by the author, unless otherwise credited. This is original content, created expressly for Steemit)
Posted 20170628 22:46 PDT