Anyway, being thrown into this insta-family at only 23 years old was kind of like being thrown into a pool to learn to swim.
Maybe it's because I'm a total outsider looking in, but the analogy I would use is you are a frog who slipped into the water and the temperature was slowly raised until boiling and you were trapped and it was too late to jump ship. You didn't feel deceived at all? Or wonder if there were other things being kept from you?
Fortunately your instincts were right and you could trust him as you are still together today, but I'm not sure I would be able to trust someone while in the position you were in and every so often discovering a new secret.
The secrets were all just at first, and only regarded his age and the number of kids he had....oh, and his real name. :) But, after everything was revealed, he was remarkably forthright in telling me everything I needed to know to make an informed decision going into the relationship....even some things that were pretty unpleasant and might have scared off someone who wasn't already madly in love and pretty committed to the relationship. In spite of being reluctant to reveal some things early on, until he knew he could trust me, he values honesty quite highly. I'd prefer to be lied to sometimes, but he always wants and tells the truth, no matter how unpleasant.
Oh, and at the beginning of the relationship, I was really young and naive. It was the first time I'd ever felt so passionately about anyone, and I kind of let that cloud my better judgement on some things. As young people do. :)
Maybe the dating world has changed, but today all 3 of those things would constitute deal breakers for girls I was seeing. Having one hidden kid would be enough of a deception to end some relationships, let alone 4 kids, being nearly 10 years older than thought to be, and having a hidden name. Would you have stayed with him if it happened to an older and wiser steph McKenzie (I assume that's your name :))
I don't know if I would stay with him now, if I was doing it all over again with my current level of wisdom. But, it wouldn't be because he hid having kids, or his age. After the initial surprise and being slightly stunned regarding those things, I was actually okay with them. It would be other things about him that would probably send me looking elsewhere now....personality things, mental health things, background things....he wouldn't pass a background check with me now. :) But, I'd still be okay with the reveal of the kids and his real age and name, interestingly. I know other women would probably feel differently. I'm remarkably laid back about most things. When I was a teacher, my students once told me I was the only teacher who never yelled at them. It's got to be something more drastic than hidden kids and not revealing your true age to upset me. :)