Well! It's been a while, but the latest article in the Dapper Dad Gazette is up!
Imagine you finally have the chance to approach that special someone you have had your eye on, or that you are in an elevator with the head honcho of your work. What will the first lines out of your mouth be? It can be difficult to really try and come up with the perfect line to strike up a conversation.
And if that wasn't nerve-racking enough, how do you keep the conversation going? What if the person doesn't give me much to go on? This can certainly happen, but many times people take the small talk as something that is just filler because you can't often think of things to say.
While there can be some validity to that, I like to take a slightly different school of thought. I like to think that it is really more of us trying to find something to connect on. Sometimes people are just shy and can't think of ways to respond. This is where you help them come along.
How's about a story?...
Let me take you back to yesteryear when I was in my early twenties. I had just started a job where I was answering phone calls all day, isn't the story starting off wonderfully!
So here I am, with a ding in my ear 80-100 times a day, speaking to customers, I had the mantra - time is money. Let me get this customer off this phone call because I need to earn the keep of my pay. Boy was I wrong in that situation!
I was lucky enough to work for an employer who didn't seem to care about how long my phone call took, but rather how great of an experience could I provide for that customer. Shocking, I know! But I was later coached that I needed to have conversations and make it seem as though they weren't calling a normal customer service rep.
Fast forward several years, and while life is much happier not having the 100 dings in my ear every day, it was a great experience to help transform my conversational skills. I mean is there really ever a smaller conversation than calling a customer service rep?
Now that the story is over, how about we dive into a few tips & tricks that can help with keeping the conversation going. In other words, create the witty small talk to and fro!
- Start with a small gesture
- Move to something about an observation you have made
- Ask an open-ended question
- Listen and respond
- Look for the heater right down the middle
A simple "Hi, how are you?" or "Can you believe the weather lately?", is a great piece to get the conversation started.
If you live in an apartment building together, ask how long they've lived in the area or how they like it. Maybe consider asking something about a book or article they are carrying. This shows attention to detail and could lead to an entirely amazing story about a fine piece of jewelry or a new book for your library.
If you love adventure then ask about where their favorite place they have visited and why. Who knows, it could turn out to be yours too. Asking open-ended questions will force someone to provide details that can lead to more questions and more conversation.
Make sure you are actually paying attention to what you are asking or saying. Then respond to that. Nobody likes to have a conversation with themselves and certainly don't want to feel like they are wasting their time or breath.
I mean I have to get in a baseball analogy. For those not so baseball inclined, a heater right down the middle is a fastball that you are sure to hit a home run off of. In speaking terms, this is something that you are clearly able to connect with and add excitement back to the conversation.
Now see, small talk doesn't have to be all that bad. Next time you find yourself in a small talk spot, try a couple of these pointers to keep it going.
Thanks for tuning in today folks, and that's your Daily Dose of Dapperness!
Hi, my name is Blake. I'm a true fan of the 1950's style gentleman, a father, adventurer, and all around Curious George!
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Well said Dapper Dad!