I used to be a 10 Percenter

It seems many single men who are actively dating, at one time or another, at some point in their lives, played the percentages and maybe many still do. That was me many years ago; I was a ten percenter. I’m not really sure how or where I got the term from, but it wasn’t until recently that I was able to grasp the scope of what being a ten percenter really meant and how I have evolved from it. As single men in search of meeting eligible women there are many approaches and strategies one can choose. Some of these might be in a micro scale, such as pick-up lines, places to troll, or attention gimmicks. Others are of a macro scope and they are a bit more subconscious in nature. The larger picture ones are a general philosophy in one’s approach and a ten percenter is probably the most common of all.

The concept of a ten percenter is really quite simple. As men head out on their quest to meet new women they are basically playing the odds and percentages. A ten percenter is banking on the statistics that if he hits on 10 women in a night, one will be a score. So as simple math has it 1 out of 10 is 10% (hence the name 10 percenter). Now, we are really not dealing with perfect numbers, so some nights you might be in a 5% mode or maybe roll a fat donut after hitting on about 20 women on Taco Tuesday, but in the end it averages out to about 10 percent. The percent can also vary from individual to individual. Some athletic stud, charming Casanova, or funny entertaining Merlin might actually be pulling a much higher percentage but in the end it is still a non-focused, non-scientific shotgun approach, and a percenter is a percenter.

I don’t have to tell you all the flaws and the cheese rating with such a strategy, but I’ll point out some of the obvious weaknesses. One of the difficulties with being a 10 percenter (let’s just call him a “10p” for short) is that it really is counter productive if finding quality is your end goal. As the 10p man walks into an establishment he usually has his head on a swivel scoping out all potential targets from best to worst. Then after a brief assessment, if any at all, he moves in for attempt number one. The problem is that for the most part he doesn’t go for target number 1. He usually picks target number 3 to 5 first. It could be as a warm-up or just waiting for the liquid courage to kick in. As the night goes on and a few feeble attempts have come and gone, now maybe the time for an attempt at target number 1 has come. Yet, any chance at number 1 has probably already gone the way of the Dodo. See, any girl who has their stuff together and is confident and secure, even if she might have been interested would have sent you back to the minors at this time. Why? Because no available clear headed girl is going to watch some player hit on and strike out with 2 to 3 others before he sloppily makes his way over to her. Maybe she might have missed it or didn’t see it, but for the most part, if she was interested she would have been observing.

Another shortcoming is that any self-loathing woman that would succumb to some scruple-less neophyte trolling blindly, is probably packed with more issues than National Geographic and needs some Dr. Finklestien time. The 10p strategy is nothing but a sift that tends to leave you holding all the whackies as the quality women pass right by.

Now, if just scoring is your end goal then one should just incorporate the “go ugly early” or “cougar hunt” strategy and be done with it, but I imagine that by the time you are in your late 20s, sport scoring isn’t too appealing anymore. But I guess we men walk that line at some point in our single tenure. And sadly that is how it was for me as well. I was a 10 percenter, and now looking back I was not proud of it. Because almost 90 percent of the velveta burros chicos out there trying to score a chica are 10 percenters and that is neither unique nor inspiring.

Then something happened to me…I realized something. It wasn’t sudden but rather more of a transitional evolution. Allow me to paint you a picture that most of us can relate to. It is like when a women walks into Bloomingdale’s or Saks there are dozens of departments and counters, yet a woman consciously knows what department she wants to hit. For the analogy’s sake let’s say it is ladies casuals. In that department there are mannequins, clothing racks, shelves, and counter-tops displaying the latest greatest gear making an attempt to catch your attention - as if to say “Pick me! Pick me!” However, all the chatter from the stacks and racks of clothes flashing in front of you it is relatively inconsequential. Because do you ever notice that your eyes quickly scan the whole environment but then all of a sudden, boom, it finds something that catches your eye? Maybe a couple of pieces amongst the hundreds in it’s midst. The rest is just noise and clutter that your mind doesn’t care or have the time for. You know what you want and gets your attention. For men it is much the same – we walk in some where and our attention fixates on or is drawn to what we like. It isn’t usually fooled or distracted.

With that analogy in mind, it was simple. I’m able to walk into a social or public environment and boom, my eyes spot what I like within minutes. And I am willing to bet the house on it that for women it’s just the same and maybe a little more apparent. See women are not as obvious in their prowling as us men, so when they do spot some stud across the bar their eye lock tends to carry a bit more gravitas. Therefore it became easier to increase the odds in your favor and maybe add some integrity to the single life instead of looking like some salivating ADHD dog showing the lipstick.

Now a day it is just easier to go out either alone or with friends without any pressure or expectations. I simply enjoy the moment and my time out without having my head and eyes spinning like a top to see who is around. I just make myself aware and casually peruse the surroundings from time to time. I’m very cognizant of what I like and if I see it, I make sure that I keep in tune to what kind of vibe she is throwing. If her posture and body begin to point my way it is a positive, if I catch her glancing more than once as I gently glimpse back then it is score, and if eye contact is made and a smile is exchanged then it is most certainly on! However, there are few things to note. Peeping a hottie from across the room is good and acceptable. Gawking and beginning to stalk some chick that graciously accepted your first round of drinks and refuses to do a body shot with you is crossing the line. Once the congruency in body language is established and the time comes to make a move there is a very critical detail that can not be overlooked or ignored and if the situation is not right then a shot should not be taken. That is, the approach must be genuine, sincere and as unforced or awkward as possible. Maybe find some common ground, a silly spur of the moment observation or if nothing else comes to mind asking her name and introducing yourself should suffice. But if the window does not open and your only option is to D-line swim technique through her over-protective girls’ night out lackeys, then it is probably better to retire your ship than to push a bad position. Go ahead, call it a night and live to fight another day, while you save face and bounce out with dignity and pride intact. Who knows, if she is feeling your vibe and likes what you are tossing then she just might create the opportunity for you.

So now that I am no longer a 10 percenter, it doesn’t mean that I am 100 percenter or even a 90 percenter. It just means that I know what shots I want to take and the ones that aren’t quite right. Because even a highly trained military sniper will wait motionless for hours and days anticipating the arrival of their target from hundreds of yards away; and even then, if the conditions aren’t favorable for the perfect shot, they will not pull the trigger. Yet even when they do decide to take the shot, it doesn’t guarantee a kill. They just know that enough of the variables were congruent to allow the greatest chance for success.

For those who made it to the end...I wrote this in 2008 and figured I'd break the ice with it here!