Treat Others as You Want to Feel
I try and instill to my son that he needs to go along with himself, not the group. At 40, I can definitely say that the up and coming generations do not act or behave in ways I did coming up in this world. I see so much disdain for their peers, how they can BFF with a kid then a day later gang up on them and make that person feel an inch tall...why? Why do this to another human? What good comes about? I never quite understood and probably never will. I tell my son that before he does anything (he is 12 so his brain doesn't exactly think the way it should), "If you think I would be upset with you, don't do it". I try to tell him this on a constant basis when I get wind of things at school being sketchy or I catch something in the news about bullying. I make it a point to basically drill into him that if he doesn't like being the brunt of all jokes and picking, then why is it ok to do that to another classmate, teammate, friend or family?
Be the Stronger Man
My 2 year old daughter is FASCINATED by the "Mooo" movie, better known as Barnyard. Cute movie; lots of color, movement and animals doing crazy things...all things a 2 year old would get. One part of the movie sticks out to me when the main character, Ottis, his father, Ben, tells him:
A strong man stands up for themselves...
A stronger man stands up for others!
I use that to tell my oldest that I understand it's hard to not to follow the crowd. That your friends, especially over the next few years of your life, will challenge you to do things, some things you shouldn't and you'll feel pressure to do it. But just because everyone else is doing it, that doesn't make it right for you. If you see someone doing something wrong or someone being picked on or bullied, stand up for them. Do something as a leader and not a follower for once, it'll go a long way. At one point he explained he seen some kids knock books and other objects out of another kid's hand...a kid he didn't really know. He stopped and helped pick up the books and checked on him. This was actually verified by a teacher who wrote me an email to personally tell me she had seen this and said she wished that she would see more of that and less of the other nonsense. I was actually amazed! Has everything I been preaching for years FINALLY sink into his head? I hope, God I hope!
I hope to look back and see that this generation finally grows up and moves forward with their lives. That they understand that the "friends" that push them to do stupid shit today, will most likely NOT be at their wedding one day. That school chums come and go and that it's ok to be yourself but above all else, be good to yourself and equally, be good and just love those that you come across in your life...you just never know what the cause and effect will exactly be.