I decided to write something about being a parent. I have been a mum for over a year and I wanted to share a tiny bit of my experience with you wonderful steemians.
This is a transcript from one of the letters I wrote to my son:
"I remember sitting on my mother's lap, on one of the very few moments of affection we shared. She told me she loved me more than I could understand, and even though I didn't quite know what she meant, I believed her. My mum was never too affectionate, and sweet words or cuddles were hard to come by; but I never doubted her love. A love that, just like she said, I didn't understand until you were placed in my arms.
The love of a mother for her child is so raw and powerful, it defies anything you thought you knew about anything. It makes you want to change yourself and the whole world. So you should know now that whatever happens to me, to you or to the world; and whatever you do, whoever you become - I will love you more than you can imagine. Always."
Most of us have been blessed with loving parents. They made mistakes, failed sometimes, but they loved us!
Many people, me included, blame their parents for a lot of their issues. My mum was a sole parent, and there are so many things I wished she would have done differently, so many words I wished she would have said, or not said!
But now that I'm a mother, I am terrified that my son will think the same one day; that some things I do now, unwillingly, will affect his personality in a negative way.
None of us know how to be the perfect parent. There is no school for it, no steps to follow. And yet we have the power to shape the mind of another human being; and we're doing it in the dark. The advice we get, the books we read, are all contradictory. One may tell you to do one think and another, completely the opposite! Everyday I worry whether my son has everything he needs to thrive, whether I do enough to help him grow into a strong, happy human!
The truth is, we all just do what we think it's best. Many of us succeed and raise our kids well, and they grow into healthy, strong people capable to succeed in life. Sometimes we go wrong and hurt our children, and the guilt of knowing you've done that can be unbearable.
Give your parents a call, visit them, take them out to lunch! If they hurt you, or not raised you they way they should have, try to forgive them! Maybe they were too tired, stressed, overworked; maybe they followed the wrong advice. Whatever the case, they loved, and they LOVE you!
So go hug your parents! :)
Thank you for reading and I hope you found this post useful.
Until next time, Steem on!
Corina
If you ask me who is the strongest human, asked my mother; she raised me despite of hardship we've been through with my 4 sisters, she raised us single handedly, without my father; since my father is an alcohol, and smoke abuser, but he died during my elementary, my mother is so strong that she even hides her problems just to make us not worried.
Seems like we really don't know what we're capable of until we are presented the situation. Demonstration of the strong human spirit!
We always underestimate ourselves and overestimate others and that's what diminishes the self-confidence within, thus not letting us take on bigger challenges in life. Human is the most magnificent creature of God and realising one's potential is a great deal. We come across a new version of ourselves during these hard times which make us a stronger person.
Your mother sounds like a super-human, you must be very proud! Thank you so much for reading.
I second that
Your mom is really a superwoman I would say. Same goes for my father. My grandfather died when he was in grade 6th and since then he has taken care of his family by giving tuitions to other kids. He used to study under the street lights because he didn't have electricity that time and managing everything on his own was a real challenge. But he grew from that situation and has given a great life to his family. I feel really lucky to have a father like him.
Beautiful .. true love Really, that's amazing
Great post from you
Thanks for sharing
I so relate to your post! Our parents are just humans themselves and aren't perfect although growing up to about the age of 10 or 11, we think they are. Best thing to do is be a great role model to them. Working on yourself and continuing to improve and learn is so important as it shows your child that life is an ongoing process of growing.
I remember when I was around 10 and I realized that my mum makes mistakes and she doesn't know everything! I was mind-blown lol! I think the most important thing is to be close and genuine with your kids, talk to them as much as possible, be honest and apologise when you're wrong. Be their friend! Thank you for taking the time to read my post.
No matter what you do, children will always judge their parents. In this case, what is left to do is easy. Prepare your child for the life and for the world the best you can 😀. How are you doing this? I am not in a position to advise anyone, as I have my own difficult moments 😅.
As long as it grows in a strong person, it will get to the point to understand why.
Trying to explain to our children, why we do everything we do now, is a mistake. They will not get it, and we may destroy that innocence they need 😉.
Speaking about parenting, it seems that your mom did a pretty good job 😀.
Thank you for your comment Laurentiu. I guess you're right., children will blame you no matter what. I guess the most important thing is to know that you did your best.
I'm a parent, my wife is the other one, for two kids. What I've learned in 5 + years of parenting: don't get attached to outcomes. Just do the next indicated step. There is also a really good book out there that I think should be made available everywhere: "Raising Human Beings", by Dr. Ross W. Greene. He has written by far, the best books I have ever found on parenting.
As to my parents, I'd hug them if they were in town. But they're about 700 miles away at the moment. :)
Thanks for sharing.
I will check that book out, thank you for sharing! Sorry your parents are so far away, maybe send them a virtual hug :)
... and go hug your children, too!
That is even more important! Thank you!
A beautiful post @corina
Thanks for sharing it.
I'm with you when It comes to analysing my own issues and blaming it on my parents. It's not all their fault, as you have rightly pointed out, and sometimes stuff happens!
My daughter is 15 next week (where has the time gone) and I have learned so much from her and from bringing her up. It's a challenge every day but a brilliant one with so many rewards.
It's times like these when we can look back and see the good things that our parent/s did for us. They probably sacrificed more than we will ever know.
Cheers, Gaz.
I agree with you. We can blame our parents, but shoulda, coulda, woulda. Looking back is always hindsight 20/20. If things didn't turn out the way it did, we wouldn't be here right now. Gotta remind myself of that daily.
So true @victoriacalloway
For every negative we remember there is probably a ton of positive memories and we don't.
Gaz
That's true.. we often focus on mistakes, and forget to be thankful for the good things we got from our parents. Thank you for your kind words and happy birthday to you daughter next week!
Thanks. I will pass the birthday wishes on. She'll be chuffed! :)
Thank you @corina for this beautiful post. I agree with you 100%. Our parent raised us they knew how and we all have scares and when we are adults its time to take our destiny in our hands and start living and be responsible humans and not forever blame our parents for what they did or did not do. They did the best they knew how. Love them and forgive them for their mistakes. Enjoy what is left and don't dwell, blame for should haves and could haves. You are an adult and you can choose to live or to blame and hide.
This us the best post on steem @cornia.Our life is better than parents.Mother is the main fighter in family.I love it.Thank you so much for your reading.
parents is a greatest gift
I will further add hug your grandparent too you will see the true feeling of love
nice and amazing post dear
I responded to this post in my article: https://steemit.com/life/@joejoesky/everybody-loves-their-mum-except-me You can read my view in that post.
This is so beautiful, inspiring, and educative. I know now that I don't make my parents feel loved enough.
Yes, we often forget to do so then regret...
regret when we realize that we would never have one more chance to say that we love them so much
Fill your swelling with swelling, your life in the color of the rainbow, and the color of your color. Let the misery be lost in the country of unknown unknown. Your life floats in the sea of happiness. I wish I was close to the widower.
I resteem your excellent post
Thanks for your very useful post and good advice, hope people will be realised to read your post what they should do and the love of parents, thanks again.
I do, thank you for writing about but my mom is not near me, I am 6 hour driving away from her. I miss my mom.
A mother is everything. Therefore do not ever waste the affection and attention of a mother who has given birth, raising and educating us to become a great person. And all that he never asked us to return.
Greetings mother.
@farizalm
Thank you for your beautiful comment.
It is said, almighty likes the people who care for their parents, love them, and who are kind to them.. and same way dislikes who speak harsh with parents..... nice post Corina.
Dear people, fortunate you got an opportunity to serve your parents...some are unfortunate.. and pray for them.
single mom of two. It is hard and frustrating, but at the same time is the best job i have had in my live.Every little thing is my reward. Is a love that you can really see in their eyes. loving it
That must be so hard. My mum raised us on her own, and working very long hours too and I'm very thankful to her. Enjoy the time with your kids, it goes so fast! Thank you for your comment.
I love my parents and now even more.
I recently gave birth to a son and since then I know what it means to love someone so much. I am grateful how my parents raised me. You are right parenting is hard work, we should appreciate and remember that our parents want our good and we should thank them for the work and dedication they put into our upbringing.
That's so true! We forget to be grateful to our parents. Thank you for your nice words
Nice Post and great advice
Hi
Dear,
I have resteem it post.
Pls follow me and hit me some upvotes
When I was a kid I never really hugged with my parents, but then agian they didn't really hug much either.
They always wanted to kiss me though and that kind of felt strange to me.
It was only since I met some friends when I was 18 that I started to not be awkward to hug people. Now it's the most natural thing to do with al the acroyoga in my life.
Whenever I meet my parents I give them a super big hug :)
In my chinese culture, we are not the touchy-feely type. So it's so hard for me to hug people today. Although I'm trying to change this, I still get uncomfortable at times hugging people!
My parents aren’t huggers either so I force-hug my mum when I see her lol! Thank you for your comment
I found that when I grow up, rarely have a chance to hug my dad, because i am a girl and i always try to show that I grown up and independent, but I am wrong?
I think hugging people, especially your parents, is a very nice thing to do. It doesn't show you are dependent and hanging on to them, it's just a little act of love.
If you meet your father and you hug him with confidence and love, it will absolutely show that you have grown up.
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Awesome thoughts @corina, I fully agree with you!!!
Our parents deserve at least our hug!!!
This post has received a 9.58 % upvote from @booster thanks to: @corina.
The most precious thing in the world is the family. We need to know their values..
What deep thoughts. Our parents give us all they can (or even more) and in the way they can. I am so grateful to them for all that I have, for my happy childhood, for every advice. Unfortunately, now 11000 km separate us, but it´s just a physical distance. Emotionally we are still together.
Thanks for reading! I'm sorry your parents are so far. How often do you get to see them?
Well, I gave a hug in the airport to my parents last July. This 1st of July I will give them another hug.
Thank you for your interesting publications! It´s a great pleasure to read them. They bring calmness and insipre.
The love of a mother is unconditional, excelent post, @corina,
I've never accused my parents of doing something wrong. But with my children, I try to avoid such mistakes that my children remember their childhood with joy. Time goes by quickly and nothing comes back. If I understand that I made a mistake, I can admit it and apologize to my children. I think it's important. Children should learn to admit their mistakes and be able to ask forgiveness.
Being genuine with our kids is crucial. Apologizing when we're wrong shows them that they are respected, and important. Thank you for reading
Be right in everything you pose, plus the fact that we do not recognize our parents and especially mom and wholesale in one. My experience as a mother, one year and two months exactly without counting the pregnancy, has been unique and without comparison. Your words describe it very well, the love that comes from the deepest is incalculable and unconditional.
Thanks to the Eternal my son is a very healthy child, however I must comment on an experience that had to happen with us two months old; his belly swells because of a retractable testicle but that was not what told us that the first pediatrician who examined him, the one who had cancer and the operation, when he got home, my biggest wish was to change with him and ask him to Being Supreme that can change me with him, and I be the one who suffers what I have to suffer but not my baby.
At that moment there is an account that can come to think, make and change for a child. Our parents dedicated many things, sacrificing the time and effort to give us everything they wanted, they won a lot to raise us and train us. What were wrong? Yes, and who does not? As a mother you learn by teaching, every day there is something new to enjoy, a smile to look at to tell us the same things ...
IT IS THE BEST THAT HAS BEEN FOR ME!!!
Thank you for this great post!
A simple hug can mean much but sometimes it's hard to do that. Idk why.
A hug can means everything about love
This is a wonderful post in all essence.
As a mom of a 19-month-old, I can definitely relate to it. Everyday is a challenge, and we receive blame from all sides, our own parents, our in-laws, spouses, and yes, at some point from our own children. Even now that I am an adult, I still blame my own parents when I'm in a bad mood; but ever since I have become a mom, I understand that, there is no perfect parenting method, that we can only try our best and hope that one day, our little ones will understand :) A thank you to all the moms our there :)
However we decide to raise our kids, there will always be someone who doesn't agree. You get blamed for being too strict, or too soft, for giving them too much food or too little. There is literally no part of parenting that isn't scrutinized and judged. In the end we just have to focus on what we're doing and disregard the 'comments'. Thank you for your nice words.
I can say I was blessed for having a loving parents... And I'm thankful for all they have done for us.
This is so inspiring and educative..Hopefully children realize the worth of their parents.Hope you write more inspiring article..
Life is beautiful if live your parents..you can share your smile and crying moments with your parents..thanks for sharing content..
It might not be now but I will :)
best moment of Father & son... wow thats amazing
No more important things in this world besides our parents, thanks for sharing. keep spread the love things
my parents died two years ago...and i would like to thread half of my fortune just to see my parents again.....go tell them now you love them...tomorrow may be late
This made me utterly emotional. My mother had to drop everything just so she can give me a good life and support my father's education, in hopes that he can land a good job for the family. But instead, she got cheated on and left with a child to raise on her own.
She's made mistakes and she's given me the best she can. Now that she's got no more job, I've finished Uni and have gone off to work, but the life of an adult is chaotic and hard and I'm mostly left a confused mess. Even up until now, no matter how much problems she can have, she'd still have me break down in her arms and comfort me and tell me everything is going to be okay. I'm truly, TRULY lucky and blessed to have such an amazing mother.
You definitely are! She sounds wonderful.. I am sorry she has had to go through all that pain after sacrificing herself for her family, that is really heartbreaking.
Thank you for posting this great content.
Very nice. I am parent myself, and I can not wait for my sons to come to their senses and start hugging me (again).