The fact that you used the word trigger a lot in this post is a good sign to me, the shame that you are referring to has become habitualised in your mind and being and is being triggered by extrnal events. Feelings start off with one trigger and grow from there with new triggers being added as time goes by through your perception of what is happening so if you percieve that you are not doing enough to spend time with your daughter or if you are not getting enough work done as being shameful, then the associated habitual feeling of shame is experienced. Their are two problems here, the habitual feeling which could have built up over years or longer and the deluded beliefs (perceptions) that are triggering them. You need to first detach from the feeling when it is triggered and allow it to flow naturally through you and this in turn would allow you to see through the deluded nature of the beliefs causing it. This is a process that will take time and like any other form of detox can get worse before it gets better through the allowing of the feelings to arise in their highest intensity.