To start this story, let's just say I'm a complete overachiever. When someone tells me to jump, I ask how high, and then I work hard to go above that. Every. Single. Time.
About three years ago, we had a special product we created called HIPAAgps that helps small companies manage their HIPAA compliance. If you don't know what that is, it's a health care thing in the US. On top of being one of the main creators, they asked me to sell the product. It didn't bring in a lot of revenue, but I don't have to do a lot of work to maintain it.
Things changed at my company a few years back. I was put in sales full time rather than conducting risk assessments, which I love to do. I like working with customers and helping them out, guiding them. Now I spend my time trying to sell services such as penetration testing and vulnerability scanning to companies.
It's a constant struggle because I'm not a sales person. My management tells me that I'm good at it, but I never make quota. Of course, other sales people don't either, so maybe I'm not doing too bad. I just can't figure out how to bring in more sales.
I hit a point a while back that I went and got medication for my anxiety on this, because it was too much. I would end up crying at the drop of a hat. I wouldn't sleep well at night, making it much worse. Life was truly unbearable. It's been a struggle to find the right medication, but I've been doing pretty well lately.
Yesterday, I received an email from the CEO of our company saying that he is pulling me off of HIPAAgps to bring in more sales. HIPAAgps is my baby. I love getting to write the content for the blog each week. I love answering HIPAA compliance questions ( I never thought I would say that.)
So today my heart is hurting and I'm finding it hard to even do the minimum necessary. All I want to do is go to bed and cry.
Have any of you experienced anything like this? Something that you love dearly being taken away from you?
I'm sorry, maybe room is being made for something better!
Thank you.