I was reading many of the comments on my previous posts, and it seems like many people struggle with the word "no". In other words, they may recognize when someone is not honest or even toxic, but fail at taking distance from them.
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I understand why this is the case because I can remember a younger version of myself who did as well, but the truth is that learning to draw the line is very important for our personal growth and even health.
Looking of the obstacles to saying now, and asking questions I often find similar answers from people I've mentored. They idea is if you say no, the other person might not like you, or might speak badly of you, or something like that.
Those concerns are valid, but they lack a universal truth, and there is a saying that I like to remember people of often.
"Nobody knows the true key to success, but the key to failure is trying to please everybody" - Anonymous
It's really that simple, there is absolutely no way you can do it all, make everyone happy and we have to learn to me comfortable with that reality. If we can't, then we will be mediocre at many of the tasks we take on, and will probably not succeed anyways.
The message I'm trying to leave you here is this:
It's Ok for you to draw the line, you can do so with respect of course, because above all you must always respect yourself.
Hope everyone is having a pleasant day
Dear sir!
The wrong ways are always glowing and attracting, because of which we are unable to make distance from this. It is always difficult to walk on the path of truth. Walking on this path has to face many mental physical difficulties, that is why we always try to ignore it. Walking on the wrong path will give us quick benefits, but its end is very painful.
If we look at its positive side, then the path of truth always develops moral values and moves on the path of success.
Therefore, say not allowed those things that diminish our moral values lead us to failure.
Regards
Exact @certain, that's what I'm trying to do here. I have done my best to have people develop this mindset within them. Regards
Interesting choice of topic @chbartist
Indeed it may be hard to say "no", as much as it may be hard to avoid saying "no".
Just like you said: it's partly about drawing a line.
I also believe that we need to learn to ignore other people judgements. People tend to worry that if they say "no" then they will be judged.
But the reality is that we're all being judged either way. And it's important to realize what is our value and ignore those who do not recognize it and are judgemental.
obviously upvoted
Piotr
Thank you friend for your words!
regards @chbartist All men and women have to fight with the "NO", in terms of using the power of conviction towards others, it is elementary to keep the "NO" in every decision to seek the truth.
All the spirits unleash between what is convenient in this life or not. What can we understand, when we present the affirmative syllable? We would live in a desert and we would never know our fulfillment in what we undertake.
I can not remember in a single moment in any discussion or approach where there is no "NO". Would we remain silent, quiet because we did not pronounce disagreement with something, for the simple act of pleasing others? And your criteria where it is ?.
Discovering your success to others rests on a "NO", showing your reason, even if you do not like others. Now let us understand that nobody could escape the negative acceptance "NO", it is a war between the right and the wrong; no one can escape because through it the personal growth of man is complemented
Excellent words! Regards
This article is a wake up call for all of us....
It's difficult to say No to people we are close with or to people who we can get benefit to due to the mentality of We might in the future, will need their help and we are afraid that because of saying no they will turn us down....or... Because of "INDULGENCE "....
In my country "indulgence " is the common reason why we can't say no.... People gave help and in return these people expects that we will repay them back through not saying no to any favor they ask, and we are obliged to do it .
In some case people, wanted to be recognized or wanted to be accepted in the circle they wanted to be part with. By not saying no we put ourselves to the situation just to please them in order to be accepted...
I fully understand what you mean and agree! I wish you the best
It is not an easy thing to say 'no' to someone. However, a time comes when one gets fed up with the growing demands of others. Every person has a limit of his/her patience. After, that point one is forced to say 'no' but many times it worsens the matters as the other person feels it very offensive and unacceptable.
So, it is not a wise thing to say 'no' when one don't have any other choice left. One should not give in before someone if his/her demands are irrational and unjust. One should be firm right from the beginning, otherwise, it deteriorates the situation and when ultimately one says 'no', it creates so many problems. So, one should not spoil other's habits by accepting his/her every wish.
Excellent @akdx! Good see you again!
Yes , I agree! You should draft a line, where enough is enough. You can't go on and please others all the time. Sometimes you really need to stand your ground and learn to say no to people who deserves it.
I like how you emphasized, "Stand your ground"... I also agree with you @nevillehastings that a person should really know what's right and stand firm. Because we live in a world full of mediocre and if we don't know how to make a stand then we will always live trying to please other people. Stand for what is RIGHT!
Saying "No" is also saying that He/She has to learn to stand on their own. A lot of people I know, they always follow what this world dictates and that is, Trying to PLEASE everyone! Even if they know that the person has got nothing to do good but they just follow. So sad!
Agree! People-pleaser is not really my thing! We really can't be happy if that would be our main goal in life. I pity those people!!!
@drakedowney I totally agree about people trying to live by the book just to please the world. Personally, I admire people who live according to their dreams, to what makes them truly happy. Also, "NO" is not always a bad thing, sometimes it's the healthiest way to motivate people to stand on their own feet.
Very well said @nevillehastings. Couldn't agree more with you.
Thanks @drakedowney! :)
Sometimes we need to say no to even those who do not deserve it. Sometimes people also need to understand the other side too. Regards
Sir, that was very good. You said right, I also feel like I am struggling with the word "no".But I am doing my best.
This is the more important @cruis. Like you said ."But I am doing my best" Success
Hi, that is my personal opinion when we say no to someone then he goes against us and starts to prove us wrong. By the way it is a better advice to stay away from dishonest people.
You always spoke great words my friend. I like it. Have a good day from @coolguy222
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Thank again my friend for your words!
I'd say even if you don't feel like saying no to someone, because that is a very personal "no", you have the option to just continue without them. There will ever exist people that take part in our lifes. Not for long, but for a quiet good time. When this time ends we can just go on and be glad for the shared moments we had. There is nothing wrong in saying: "Hey, meeting you was nice. I see you will pull out to the left and I decided to pull out to the right one. Maybe we meet again. Have a good time."
Exactly!
This is truly a great lesson in the corporate world these days as Organizations look to do more with less and stretch their resources past the limits of quality work. I have been privileged to manage great talent in my career and many times the feedback I have needed to provide is to prioritize time and effort and not necessarily always saying yes to superiors in sacrifice to colleagues or team members. Saying no is truly an important factor in determining the efficiencies of teams!
Thx for your comment friend!
It is very difficult because it seems as if one became the bad guy in the movie as soon as one says no to someone.
The point is that there is always going to be someone who is not satisfied with what we do. So why work hard to please others?
Exactly!
Life is complex equation. You need to balance it with happiness, griefs, effort, comfort, inspiration and then success and failures.
Agree! Thank you for your comment! Success
One cannot make all the people happy at one time but one can make all of them happy for some time. So saying no & drawing the line is very important. Thank You for a good lesson!
Thank you for read and comment! Good see you!
Totally agree with you! Just by saying NO to someone we are also creating a better version of ourselves by not being drawn to what the world dictates---Pleasing other people always even if it means that they are WRONG!
Yeah! helping and not tolerating them. Sometimes you have to sacrifice a little in order to gain much!
Couldn't agree more! There's a difference between helping and tolerating. Helping someone means you are letting that person grow to become better while tolerating them will only result to dependence.
Dependence or abuse. Yeah, I agree with you. It's just that some people don't have the will or courage to refuse.
Both actually! Maybe they are just afraid because if they say "No", people will not accept them.
That's exactly what I had in mind! Some people think that saying no would entail that they will excluded in the inner circle of the group. That's a twisted way of thinking.
You're 100% right, it's impossible to make every one happy, even God can't make happy every one. please don't be upset, carry on what you want to do, we are with you. regards.
Thank you @rafique1953
This is a ability that everyone want but they are not able to express them openly.
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Exactly!
There are certain instances where we should say no to someone. Some people tend to take advantage the goodness of others. If you don't know how to say no to them, then, it would be a never ending cycle of you saying yes and them abusing you. In my case, I've learned my lessons well to never give in to these kind of people.
Great!
It is said that nothing is changed by a desire, A little varies from a decision,But a certain everything can change...
Great to see you writing about this. I always think that I think like you. This is a reason why I always agree with you and you are almost raising great topic that it is impossible to say no to them.
Thank you @sumit1998
Saying No to support your values is a great strength of character. It helps to model good character. Just say No
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Exactly!
Exactly, the more i say no to things i dont want from people, the less clustered my life becomes because they no longer add me to their agenda
Yes! Success friend!
Thanks for this wisdom.Yes Man is ...the No man for integrity and honesty.
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great thoughts.. appreciate it.. @chbartist
A very valid point
Yiu cannot please everybody in this world. We have to say no at times.
Yes!
Es necesario decir No cuando decir Sí compromete tu tiempo, tu autoestima, tus compromisos o tus anhelos. Por eso hay que estar muy claro en que ser bondadoso es totalmente diferente a ser sumiso.
Saludos mi apreciado @chbartist
Si. Gracias!
Yes bro... I am agree with you..
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This is really impressive... I got in love with these
Great article! Thank you for it!!
I agree with you sir, If you don’t want to do something, it is easy to say no. Just think about what will happen if you do say yes. The best way to keep yourself from doing bad things is to think of the worst things that could happen, basically to almost scare you out of doing it. If your “friends” are telling you to do something you don’t want to do and they keep persisting, then they aren’t true friends.
Yes it's true!!! Instead of just being blunt, try to reschedule the activity with your friends for a day when you both have nothing to do. You cannot be afraid to say no because let’s face it, one wrong choice about doing an assignment can ruin your grade.
Yes i agree! Make sure you let your friends know you actually mean “no”, and you are not going to change your mind. Stand your ground and don’t be a push over. Don’t let people walk over you. You have to get work done first before you can go have fun.
it's hard to say no to people at times especially when they are close to you. Thank you for this article, this makes me realize the importance of drawing the line.
I like what I've read there
Hi @chbartist!
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Hello my friend and everyone reading this post. I apologise that my comments wont be about the post but I just want to ask @chbartist and you all to consider registering on whaleshares.io
I just registered there two nights ago, it is a platform just like steemit and there are alot of steemians there and still many more who are not on steemit. It is also a great platform but it is without the restrictions HF20 has brought to this platform.
Please, @chbartist. There are alot of people there who will need these motivations and advices we are getting here. I would've done copy and paste of your motivations there but that would be stealing on my part as the reward would go to my whales wallet. so, please, sir, i beg you to register there and affect positively the lives of many many many more people that are there.
Note: the above post was meant to be posted on your previous post of Wednesday 17th of October at 10:00 am GMT, but bcos of HF 20 restrictions, it was not allowed. So, sorry for getting it late. More reasons why we need to experiment whaleshares.
I'll analyze my friend! I promise...
It is not easy to reject someone but if ever you will be getting hurt in that process or situation then try to say no often
Para algunas personas le resulta difícil decir "no" y mientras se deciden en decir "no" pasan por mas sufrimiento y cada vez que viene esos sufrimientos o problemas en la vida es realmente cuando se sienten con la fuerza necesaria para decir "no", aunque con rapidez vuelven a seguir sin decidirse por el "no", sabiendo que en muchos casos es lo mejor no sólo para quién lo dice sino también para la otra persona. Sólo con un "no" a veces hay un futuro mejor para las dos personas.
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NOOOOO !!!
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very well said. always respect yourself.
Absolutely. We all should learn to grow some thick skin. If you spread yourself thin because you want to be a martyr and say yes to everything, you won't be able to help yourself or anybody else in the end.
It's really not an easy one saying no to anybody. But it is also really true that we cannot yes and please everybody. Everybody have their own mind and perception.
when you think positive, good things happen :)
This is a great post, and something that a lot of people seem to struggle with. I’ve always been paranoid about people not liking me, which made me a people pleaser but its only in recent years that I’ve realised just how much resentment and upset this has caused me. I’m a lot better now – not perfect – but like you I’m more aware of my values and what’s important to me, which acts like a guiding light.