I can totally relate to this post but in relation to Bulimia. I battled with it from the age off 11 through until about 19-20 before I really entered my recovery phase, and that took another 2-3 years before I was out the other end. People sometimes said things like 'why don't you just stop' or 'but it's your choice to do that'.
You're addicted to the addictive substances in the food which you're eating in crazy amounts, you're addicted to the high- sugar rush, adrenaline rush, addicted to the relief of feeling empty and addicted to numbing your emotions. Your subconscious brain and every cell in your body is wired into the substances, routines, cycles, as well as your conscious brain and own misconstrued perceptions.
Well done for breaking the generational cycle and sharing your experiences which will hopefully educate others. There are so many things people are now addicted to without having any idea.
There will be testing times ahead for you no doubt, your brain will default to it's most robust and ingrained defence mechanism in challenging times but each time you take a different action that ingrained reaction is slowly re-wired each time.
Great read and all the best :)
Thank you! I appreciate what you said :)
I'll be fine though, I've been sober for nearly 12 years now! :)
Ah that's awesome! Massive well done :D. I think it will be a while yet before the 'thoughts' totally filter from my brain. It's like the wired stress response. I don't mean normal every day stress but when life throws a shit storm at you I've really got to navigate my thoughts carefully that urge kicks right back in. But so far so good :)