How to Show Appreciation - MARRIAGE

WHAT YOU SHOULD KNOW

Expressions of appreciation can offset marital stress. When a husband and wife make an effort to notice and acknowledge each other’s good qualities, their relationship typically improves. Even severe tension can be alleviated when spouses feel appreciated by each other.

For wives. “Many women tend to overlook the incredible pressure there is on men to provide for their families,” says the aforementioned book, Emotional Infidelity. In some societies, that pressure may even exist in dual-income families.

For husbands. Men often underestimate a wife’s efforts to support the household, whether through working, raising children, or homemaking. Fiona,* who has been married for about three years, says: “We all make mistakes, and when I do, I feel bad about myself. So when my husband tells me I’ve done well at something around the house—for example, with chores—I realize that he still loves me despite my flaws. I also feel supported and happier about myself!”

In contrast, when a spouse feels taken for granted, it can threaten the very integrity of a marriage. “When you don’t feel appreciated by your spouse,” says a wife named Valerie, “it’s easy to be drawn to someone who does make you feel appreciated.”