I’ve been a wannabe online entrepreneur for as long as I can remember. So far, all of my projects either failed or didn’t get off the ground in the first place to where they could fail. It’s been my longtime dream to make a living online, but somehow it has never panned out for me.
This is a journal entry highlighting some (NOT ALL) of my failures.
If the descriptions of my projects and how they failed are boring to you, skip to section V where I offer some insights.
Photo source: pixabay.com
I.
It all started a few years ago (2007-ish) I got very knowledgeable in SEO while working at an SEO firm in Denver as a keyword researcher and article writer. I decided to apply all my newfound knowledge to an e-book and sell it online. By some luck, I got a response by online SEO legend “Grizzly Brears”, who had an insanely popular SEO blog at the time. He was on the first page of Google for the coveted keyword “SEO” and his blog had several hundred thousand visitors per month. He loved my book and agreed to become an affiliate and sell it on his blog. Life was good for a while; I was making around $4,000 per month just from the sales generated from Grizzly’s blog. Soon enough though, his blog got de-indexed after one of Google’s infamous algorithm updates. My own blogs fell right along with Grizzly’s after that update and all my e-book sales came to an abrupt halt. Google obviously didn’t like our SEO strategies. Fail!
II.
I’m quite the introvert and have suffered greatly at every job interview I’ve ever done. At the time, I was an Apple Certified Technician at an authorized retailer (not an Apple Store.) I tried my hand at creating an iPhone app that helped train people for job interviews. This was actually a project I completed and got into the App Store, but I failed miserably at the marketing part. I suppose I didn’t realize how many other apps were in the marketplace. None of them were quite like mine, but that didn’t save it from drowning in the search results. Not enough people downloaded the app and soon it became incompatible with the latest version of iOS. Then I was too slow at releasing a new compatible version. Another fail!
Photo source: pixabay.com
III.
I also tried my hand at product development creating an iPhone case that used a shock-proof material that is also used in NFL and NHL protective gear. I hired some sketchy guy named Zed to work up a CAD design and 3D printed prototype for $500. $500 was much cheaper than the $10,000+ I was quoted from legitimate prototype companies.
The plan was to launch a Kickstarter campaign to help me raise the $50,000 or so I’d need to produce my first batch of iPhone cases. Zed promised he’d have the prototype mailed out to me within a month.
I received it many months later (maybe 7?) and only after I hounded him every day about its progress. When I opened the package and removed the prototype from the bubble wrap, it broke into 2 pieces. I glued it back together and launched my Kickstarter campaign anyway. I hired a PR firm to help me out thinking that I’d leave the marketing to the professionals this time. My campaign made $25 and that was only because of a pledge from one of my friends. Yet another fail!
IV.
Next, I decided I needed a project that didn’t require any upfront investment and that wasn’t a physical product that would cost thousands of dollars to send to market. At the time, I was working in the IT department at an interpreting and translation agency and was learning their industry in depth. I decided customized scheduling software would be a clever niche software product to create, but since I wasn’t quite smart enough to pull it off completely on my own, I put up an ad for a CTO co-founder who would be willing to take equity as payment. Eventually, someone very qualified for the job responded to my ad and he seemed like a perfect fit. He immediately started working on the software after I explained the business logic and some other details to him. After a couple of months, he slowed down on his progress and came to a complete stop about a month later. He made some excuses about how he was busy and couldn’t complete the project. I couldn’t find another co-founder willing to accept equity. If at first you don’t succeed, fail, fail, fail again!
Glitch Girl, Photo source: pixabay.com
V.
Maybe I was young and naïve, but I never prepared for failure during any of my projects – and that, of course, was my downfall. You see, I wasn’t chasing a dream just for the money like most people; I chased a dream because I felt I could change the world with whatever product I was creating.
I’ve never been intrinsically motivated by money, so it can be a tricky endeavor motivating someone like me. I’m not the ideal employee and don’t respond well to financially-related bribes and goals. I get reprimanded quite frequently for making decisions that make sense morally rather than financially. Something inside me protests against the injustices of conventional employment and the exploitation of the common person by greedy businesses. Something inside me sees the immorality of wage slavery; I cry on the inside every time I go to work.
I could barely function for quite some time after the fact. To be honest, it has taken me a long time to start thinking straight again after all those failures, and some days I still don’t feel like a fully functional person. It took 4 embarrassing failures for me to finally hang my head in defeat, but that feeling of defeat has been longstanding, a feeling I can’t seem to shake.
Photo source: pixabay.com
I have lost the will to create for a very long time now and have become anxious and depressed. I have lived in a constant state of despair because I don’t know how to identify with anything else other than my projects. I became one with my projects. If I don’t have my projects, who am I? Obviously I skipped a lot of details in my descriptions above for the sake of brevity, but trust me, I tried my hardest to make every single project succeed.
I have taken my failures personally, regardless of whether it makes sense to have done so or not. It is what it is.
I feel useless. Not true, you're thinking, but really, tell me how I've been useful?
How many times can one person get knocked down and get back up before they simply can’t do it anymore?
I want to start another project, but I just can’t find the strength to risk another failure. Is it pride or...?
Failures are a part of life and I realize that. It's just that I seem to attract failure more than others.
Acknowledging and expressing these feelings in writing is a step in the right direction I suppose. This is actually the first time I've ever done so without judging myself or giving myself an obnoxious dose of unwarranted positivity.
Wow, change a few details and you are talking about me. I have failed several times and have only had one successful project. I too have a soul sucking job and I am ready for a new project. This time I want a team and fully dedicated individuals. Don't give up, lick your wounds and then go kick some ass!
There are a lot of us in soul sucking jobs, I know... Give us time and the right circumstances -- and we'll all be kicking ass.
Damn straight. "I'm here to kick ass and chew bubble gum, and I'm all out of bubble gum."
Yes!! :D
When we have tried and then what we did is failures project, there is one word i share with you @cali-girl.. The word is "* Patient *"
You and me and others fell the same.. 😊
Activity does not mean success. Success is like an iceberg and there is much more underneath. Likewise, activity is not the only aspect, the person matters a lot.
This issue is an issue of personal development. If you only have 3 or 4 failures that is not enough. Try failing a thousand times.
Like these successful people in sports and other areas your success is determined by the amount of failure @cali-girl
Passion - are you passionate? Is other things more passionate for you? What are your values? What do you value more?
I want to relate to you a story of a women. She was given a seed and she planted it hoping this seed would grow to become a fruit tree but it did not grow.
Now get 100 seeds and some of them will sprout. Success is like this, you have more failures than success.
Get on the phone cold calling and you soon see why more people leave than succeed. Success is a lot of work.
Some people are not cut out for the head honcho position - it takes 10 times more than you think. When you haven't got money, and in dire straits this is the worst time to even attempt because it comes out in your actions.
My recommendation is to consider your values. You may do great in a startup and succeed with others. You may find you prefer working for someone. Or you might just need a good amount of personal development - that hidden element @cali-girl that makes success.
If you plant a tree, the next day you don't have fruit. It takes years and years of development first in the person and then in the project. Same as parents and children. Children don't give birth. They first develop, grow and become into men and women and then they are ready to give birth.
Same with ideas, unless the person is right, things are not right and if you are in dire straits, you can't bring any good to the table. People matter more than ideas.
Please be sure to check through my articles. I hope you find the right way on your journey and all things are beneficial in your learning and experience. You did not walk the first time you tried.
Create a great day,
@kozan
Thank you, @ kozan. You are absolutely right. That was just what I needed to read right about now. :)
I see your post and I be like WHOA!!!
You are so silly. <3
You make me smile, without fail, every time.
You're braver then most my friend. When I start to have negative thought this song always comes on the radio....
God be greater than the worries in my life
God be louder than the weakness in my mind
God let your glory glorify and be magnified in my life
God is with me, for sure.
How you are feeling better!
Growth comes from trial and error. True, failures are definitely a part of life but they don't have to DEFINE your life. There is power in effort and there is always a reason to get moving again. I have been through my shares of hard times and finally took the step to do things for myself. It does take a village but you have to be sure you take care of you. I love your message and it is a good lesson. You may not see the value in the lessons right away. You may feel like you aren't useful but you don't know everything and you don't know how you look from another perspective. Who have you inspired? Who have you influenced? How many people have those people influenced? These aren't answers you may be able to get, but with faith you can know that your purpose is clear... to someone. Hang in there and keep moving forward. I have faith and I don't even know you! I have faith because I read your words and they moved me. That is something indeed.
I'm so excited at the possibility that I can influence people with my energy and words. Thank you for reminding me.
This was great. I have upvoted and resteemed..... I share some of your qualities, as I started about 4 companies. All of them I lost interest in, after 6 months. The good news is that you have found Steemit, and quite early too. I am looking for people who are interested in getting stuff created, in a new way! I think the YUNK idea, is quite powerful......and people can relate. This could go far actually....
Steemit is a much better solution, so we should brainstorm....Contact me in chat to discuss at length!
I think your life is going to improve.....Steemit is better for society and our finances than the centralized company structures.
@stellabelle I am so grateful to have found Steemit! It's becoming more to me than I ever thought possible of a social media site.
I'd love to brainstorm with you. Contact you in Steemit chat, correct? Not Discord?
I whole-heartedly agree. I feel like people wanting to ride a new wave of entrepreneurship, whatever service or product they have to offer, reflect a big shift in the way the world works. People are feeling frustrated with antiquated systems of thought, production, labor, business, education... we're seeing the real life effects of inefficiency and immorality in a way right now that is increasingly impossible to ignore. People like you @cali-girl and @stellabelle are pioneers. You are gamechangers. I see myself in the same light. Of course it will be difficult for us to do our thing when it has never been done before. But I dream of the day I can give my daughters (who don't exist yet) advice based on my trials and tribulations.
It is so important that we share, honestly, with each other in these times. Even without solutions, the feeling of the journey is valuable. So thank you for your honesty and transparency. This kind of full disclosure will take you further than you think.
You'll see the way.
The series of comments on this post alone have given me so much to be thankful for... and to think about as well.
You are right. There is certainly change in the air and it's something I'm grateful that I have the opportunity to be a part of. I just have to figure out what it means for me exactly.
Really important topic @cali-girl. I feel I could spend 30 mins typing about the ways that I agree with you. So much is predicated on circumstance, blood line, where & when we're born etc. rather than the effort we put in.
Life is filled with examples of people who stumble from success to silver platter success when others of arguably greater need or who deserve it more fall upon constant failure.
I got that impression from reading "Total Recall", Arnie's autobiography. Boy if ever there was a life built upon a "right place right time" architecture it's his!
Your failures may or may not be related to you or your efforts. It could quite likely be environment or timing. Knowing that eases the reality of failures when they happen.
So much too now is saturated. New ideas are no longer new. Almost any business idea has been done before, better & for cheaper. We are at peak globalisation, peak everything!
I'm not being pessimistic, just realistic.
Anyway I really enjoyed your topic and thank you for taking the time to write it up. 😊
We are alike in a lot of ways, so I knew this would resonate with you. I feel a breakthrough comng in our near future. ;)
Sounds promising!
Upvoted & RESTEEMED :]
That's really good... you have some really splendid insights- especially about expressing yourself through writing. I plan on doing a post tomorrow about why I write.
Be sure to share it with me.
Here you go... I hope you enjoy...
https://steemit.com/writing/@richq11/why-i-write
Thank you, @cryptologyx! You are very sweet and a true friend indeed.
Thank you for saying so @cali-girl.
It's feedback like this that keeps me hang'n on here. <3
I really feel and hear you! I could write about my life experiences and all the projects I started or ended, I barely can count them. Some were failures, some successful but at the end most of the income vanished somewhere, interesting moments of the whole progress in my mind. Am I a failure because my bank accounts don't show a few millions? Oh no! "Der Weg ist das Ziel! "
At the end it doesn't matter what we take with us. Your memories of trying and your passion will last forever....
Very true, @mammasitta! We all have failures and successes etched in our minds and eventually it's only the memories that matter. Thank you!
Trust me! The good, even the bad and also the worse memories matter 😜 I would not want to miss those failures because they challenged me to move on to the next excitements, got even more hidden talents out of me. Our lives are like a river .....if you can't swim you must float 🐬
https://steemit.com/lessons/@mammasitta/our-life-is-like-a-river-if-you-can-t-swim-you-must-float-2017731t02740712z
I know you probably don't want to hear this but it's a fact: most people who have ever lived and died on this planet did so in complete obscurity and insignificance! This is not a failure but rather reality.......But, we are driven by two primary drives: eros and Thanatos.....Fcuking and killing! Hollywood in two words.........There could be a hint in there! lol Okay, kidding......
Hahaha! You have quite a way of teaching me about philosophy! :)
Steemit has been a saviour for me. I've grown my Magazine into roughly 30,000 views a month, but, there has been little incoming. Very little. But, I've always known it will take me years to properly establish myself. People get sidetracked by earning their fortune in 10 days and when it doesn't happen they go back to employment. It's tough, fucking tough, but if you stick at it and get back up when you're knocked down, you'll get there eventually.
I can totally relate @cali-girl no judgment from here. I could come up with a jillion pep talks and platitudes, but the bottom line is that it sucks. And it hurts.
I have been self-employed in various capacities since 1985, and not a single thing I have undertaken has ever succeeded for more than maybe six months to a year before it was either (1) undercut by outsourcing (2) taken down by bankruptcies of primary clients (3) copied by someone with lots of resources or no need to actually make a profit (4) stopped as a result of 3rd party providers failing.
But this isn't my story, it's yours.
That, right there. I have been told by people who claim to "know" about these things that I lack the "cutthroat gene" required to generate success... and since money "doesn't motivate me" I also have no right to whine about not having financial success. That hurts, as well. Unfortunately, we have to pay rent, and Karma Koins don't work at the grocery.
But at the bottom of all this? You... and many others... at the core of everything, we are still GOOD PEOPLE. A wise person once reminded me that failure is "an event, not a personality trait." So YOU are not a failure... something you tried failed.
It's amazing to me that you have had the tenacity and courage to continue on your chosen path for so long. You are very special, @denmarkguy and I thank you for reminding me that I am, too. We are good people; I know you and many others here are...I can feel it.
I've always wanted some opportunity that doesn't force me to sell my soul to make a living. It's rough out there. :(
@cali-girl Hope things pick up! Best wishes on future projects.
Following!
Your post is well written and you will do well in here. Now time to see all the good coming your way as life is like a pendulum. :) @cali-girl
Thank you for your encouragement. I will continue to plug away here on Steemit and in my life in general.
Failure is a negative word for a learning process, imagine all the growth and the skills you have aquired through all this? Trust me, you have really done a great job; don't loose heart!
I'm holding on... :))
great to hear about your attempts to be entreprenurial - i have also tried and failed at a few and never made it big -then i got the depression and anxiety too -- life is much better now as i am pursuing simplicity and have a trade that makes good money for not much work --music is a healer for me too and i practise my music around 30 mins per day - i wish you to find happiness and health and will connect with you by following now -David
I am fulfilled in many ways by simplicity, too. Life can get too complicated and we tend to forget to appreciate what we have.
Good post,and an engaging read.You are talented and it will find its destiny.I can sense the beginnings by becoming associated with stellabelle. Mixing with success rubs off. I tried and failed a few times to begin with,then found success by accident. Que sera sera.
Change is on the horizon... I can feel it. :)
I can totally relate. I have tried creating a blog, article marketing, kindle books and other ideas. I have spent money with internet marketing gurus. Steemit is the only thing that has been successful.
IM gurus are mostly shills. ;)
Ok, here is what you need.
http://www.jackspirko.com/
Go there and listen to all of those podcasts.
He has the half that you are missing.
Now, your first business was an accidental success. It was not a failure. It was just a short lived product.
The app needed much more marketing and upkeep by you. You probably needed to have a small blog that was SEO to get people in, get them information and sell them on your app.
The phone case... You were in over your head and didn't have the money, resources or know how to make the thing. And you didn't have much in how to market the thing. Also, to crowd source something you already have to have enough people ready to go to get it started. Basically, when you get to indigogo it should be a sure thing. Start with a blog.
All your failures are textbook. You jumped in head first without an entire plan. Robert Kiyosaki (a good author to read as primer for this field) describes constructing a business. And in his chart, the product is like the teeny tip of the pyramid, almost irrelevant. The rest of the business to support the manufacturing, distribution and cash flow is what is necessary to actually have a business.
So, unfortunately, you have to pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and try again. www.richdad.com is currently on a bit about creating on-line businesses for/by young people.
I'll check out the podcasts. Thank you!! :)
Take that utter disappear grunt wrenching feeling of failures and empower yourself with it. Take your past failures and use that to help create a new successful you in entrepreneurship. Failure is the true sign of marching successes. How? Without those failures, you would never understand what it is to be successful. Sure people like that think they understand. Then one day out of the blue they get the wind kick out of them. Everything falls apart. They never had to deal with a large setback and face failure down.
Don’t let fear get the best of you. Go out again and fail! Fail! Fail! Till something sticks. I often find failures in life far more interesting in the successes.
I would strongly recommend doing more research. Educate yourself better. No one wants to think about the accounting, public relations, advertisement, contacts, and so many other things. However, these things will kill a company before it even gets outside if they are not taken into considerations. Far too many companies fail because of bad accounting and the lack of contracts to enforce agreements among other things.
Do some market research in your local area. What is missing in your town? Can you solve this? What could make your life or someone’s else life better? Brainstorm. Research. Fail. Take note what could be done better next time. Repeat.
I live in Los Angeles, so there really isn't much missing here unless I create a new niche or a new spin on something old. That's why I need to put some extra creative thought into my future, which like you said, is accomplished by brainstorming, researching, and failing.
BTW, glad to see you over here on my post! I missed @barrydutton's camp fire post this weekend...
I can completely relate. It's a great risk starting anything. It is an insane rollercoaster just getting one idea to flourish to its maximum capacity. I always remind myself and others of a key point.
"A master at any craft has failed more times than a student at the craft has even tried. "
The journey is long but you have a place filled with like-minded people so discuss, refill that motivator and get right back up. Your in a place where creators from all over have gathered. Keep at it. Your day of victory draws closer every time you try and even when you fail!
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I try to avoid thinking of failure as anything other than a lesson. The fact that you are able to reflect on perceived failures and you are still going makes you a success in my mind. It's all about re-framing our definitions and perceptions of success and failure. Perhaps you've just been learning what does and doesn't work for you and you're building towards your greatest success in the process. The only failure is not trying in the first place. Clearly you have talent at writing! Don't lose faith and never judge yourself! If no one else thinks so, I believe you're amazing! We all have different talents, minds, fears, and paths. Life isn't a competition, just do what makes you happy!
I'm glad you at least tried. Most people don't even get to that point. I disagree with you about wage labor being immoral, but that's not really the point of this post. It's an enormous challenge to face the feelings of loss and despair whenever we invest in something and find it come up short, so I'm proud of you for doing that here. It's a good thing, and something I strive to do myself. :) Keep up the good work.
Thank you for your kind words. :)
You are creating here and now. Heck this post made over $30 so far. That is something anyways and not a failure!
Yes! Baby steps for me...
You aren't alone! Everyone goes through these things, some just hide it better than others.
Thanks for the article. Is there any way to partner with others so you focus on your strength. Being an entrepreneur carries with it many hats. It sounds as if you are more interested in the creative angle. If you can find the relationship / financial person then maybe the two of you could accomplish big things.
Option 2: Your business is outsourcing your creative self. Selling is a tough skill and near impossible if you are not financially motivated. However, that is part of the process to help the most people if you have a good product.