When my kids were growing up, I really struggled with feeling like I was a good mom because I just could not "play" with them. I realized at some point, that I do/did spend a LOT of time with them, talking, creating things, learning things and making things... but just playing wasn't my thing.

Hugs were often barely tolerable for me, but I tried. I am known as the 'non-hugs' person by pretty much everyone, but I must admit that I still feel guilty when my kids/pseudo kids want a real hug. I willingly give them hugs, but sometimes it feels like pure torture to me and I hope that I'm good enough at hiding it. :/

Parenting with these blocks is so hard sometimes. I really really appreciate you sharing your own journey. It helps. And, for what it's worth, my kids all still love hugs, love spending time with me and we've all just talked and respected each other enough to know which things are "our things" (Ie: My son takes me out for dinner or will even bring steaks over and cook for me, since he also knows that I don't like leaving the house often. But he loves movies, so he'll take his dad or his sisters out for a movie for 'their time' and will just come over to talk to me a few times a week so we can have some time together.

Each of them has found their own way to relate to me, to their dad and to their siblings. This living... raising kids and growing up is just a wonderful mess sometimes.

I think what your daughter did, wanting to wear the ears to be there for her friend was so byeond beautiful. You are raising a seriously compassionate little girl there and that brought tears to my eyes.

And your daughter with her own discord? That is so cool as well. You're obviously a wonderful, encouraging mama. I love all of this.

@byn ... leaving novel length comments because this post made me appreciate you and also remember so many things of my own!!!