There was shit everywhere. I had to shower in the sink. Then when I was using the hand blower to dry my nuts, the janitor walked in. I had to beat him off with a mop. I thought he was dead. I had one leg off and while I was busy flushing it down the toilet, he snuck up behind me and tried putting me out with a Clorox wipe. Luckily the police arrived to take a shit. They saw the whole thing. He got hauled away for trying to kill me. I had to fill out paperwork. Then they offered me a donut. I went for the one with chocolate frosting stuff. I wasn't supposed to the touch that one though. Some dude they called Big Bruce RKO'd me outta nowhere and through a table. I had to get stiches.
Psst! How long is this supposed to last? Can I take a lunch break?
You want to take a lunch break, during the middle of our extremely long and awkward lunch date?
May I at least go take a shit before I, accident?
Yes, accident-prevention shits are allowed. As long as you promise to come back.
Sorry I took so long. You would not believe what happened...
That's fine, thanks for coming back, and I don't care what happened so long as it wasn't related to (4) All of the above somehow
There was shit everywhere. I had to shower in the sink. Then when I was using the hand blower to dry my nuts, the janitor walked in. I had to beat him off with a mop. I thought he was dead. I had one leg off and while I was busy flushing it down the toilet, he snuck up behind me and tried putting me out with a Clorox wipe. Luckily the police arrived to take a shit. They saw the whole thing. He got hauled away for trying to kill me. I had to fill out paperwork. Then they offered me a donut. I went for the one with chocolate frosting stuff. I wasn't supposed to the touch that one though. Some dude they called Big Bruce RKO'd me outta nowhere and through a table. I had to get stiches.