Sadly, I think in time most of us grow into battered and guarded people. I don't think it's a bad thing. I think it is survival. We have to separate ourselves from those who negatively impact us, and selectively choose the ones who are for us.
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I think you're right. I think that's all part of the growing cycle. It's up to our parents to give us coping mechanisms :)
Hopefully, but unfortunately some people do not learn healthy coping mechanisms from their parents.