2 Years ago today my dad died. Things were not easy in my family, but he was my dad. I don't discuss family or personal matters much. STEEMIT EXCLUSIVE ONLY Content.

in #life7 years ago (edited)

I still appreciate all the good and proper things my folks did for me, or taught me.

All the hockey practices & games around Ontario and the USA, all the other sports I played which took a lot of time and money, the baseball - the Provincial level running and track, all the gear..... the shoes, LOL.


All those things...... it helps form part of who you are. The roots, the morals and lessons........

It all does.

He hauled cars for a living, was a farmer before that, which most of my family roots in Canada come from.


My friend went with me one of the days to the hospital since I was there a lot and actually fed my dad his last meal just before he passed away very early the next morning. He is the one who took these photos - most when I was not looking. He can be good that way.


My one brother was the executor and he is a terrible human being. I was left out of all the decisions he should have, and could have included me in but such is life in my family.

He was not the one left in town, looking after our dad the last days and checking on him all the time, since my house was a couple mins. away from the hospital and my dad's condo.

I was never invited to get any of my dad's things that I could keep for remembrance or things I had given/collected/bought for him over the years.

I discuss more of what I believe to be Family Values below.

It is just nice to finally get some of this off my chest and be real about it, I don't need to make anything up, the truth is stranger and worse than fiction in my family.

I have nearly 30 years in Real Estate and he of course opted not to list my dad's condo with me, and right as soon as he got into town, when my dad was admitted, he changed the locks on the condo, rendering the key I had carried with me for 35 years, useless and decided not to tell me.


He hated this mask, he was fiercely independent til his last days, which you are seeing here. I have never shared any of this stuff publicly and certainly not the photos.


Locally around town, and via my activism circles, I am known as Blue Collar Barry and that has carried over here to Steemit to some degree here and there.

I am a regular guy, who has had enough of the corrupt government systems and mindsets and police statism and said ENOUGH --- and fought back to help and wake people up - in this broken, awful system we are forced to deal with day after day.

Blue Collar roots amen.


I did not come from a good or loving / kind / understanding / encouraging family.

I know this, and I do not run from it. I do not bash them a lot. I do not run from the facts, or the lessons that abuse and general lack of goodness many people have in their families.

Rather, I look for it in others and try to keep those lessons close to my heart, so I can avoid paying that stuff back out to people and try and be the opposite.

It is what it is, I am a plainly spoken, truthful, matter of fact guy. I try to not pay out evil for the evil I have seen in my life.


Try and be nice and kind to people and family. Everyone can use kindness, understanding and encouragement in their lives, believe me.


-- My dad never understood my activism but he got a kick out of the fact I learned what I did, applied it publicly and ran for city council.

(:

He never ever said he was proud of me, but I know a few times, he was.


This is literally an old truck from the company he hauled cars for, for 27 yrs. -- It was in a local parade and is from the era my dad worked there. I was at the parade and was stunned to see this truck roll by.

I actually delivered papers to Frank McCallum who started this company, he was a good old dude.


I found the Lord in 2003 and travelled across the country likely 20,000 kms or so one year, visiting at, and ministering at bible colleges and seminaries along the way, which was me looking for bible colleges hands on. It turned into a lot more.

My dad hated anything spiritual and religious, I think something was forced on him in his early days on the farm as a kid --- this is me just being worn out and fatigued, but saying a little prayer.


Thanks for reading, have a nice day.








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You were there when it mattered. That's what counts. That's a keepsake no one can take away from you.

Condolences, bud.

This was a hard post to write for me and took a lot out of me, so I am just writing a basic message back today, to thank everyone that took time to comment on this or vote for it, I really appreciate it, I just don't have much more to say on the issue.

Thank you very much for the support.

Hugs, bud! Take a breath, be very proud of yourself, go have a nap...

and then raid the nearest pizza joint. You earned 'em.

(:

You are more a sister to me than the 2 blood ones I have.

These pictures choke me up a bit, reminding me of my grandfathers. Neither of them were fond of their masks either.

Be it watching a loved one in their final days, or dealing with members that ignore your best interests, family can be difficult. It sounds like you're making the most with what you're given though.

Thank you for sharing this personal moment.

This was a hard post to write for me and took a lot out of me, so I am just writing a basic message back today, to thank everyone that took time to comment on this or vote for it, I really appreciate it, I just don't have much more to say on the issue.

Thank you very much for the support.

To lose a loved one is the hardest thing we have to do on this earth. Your brother took worldly things from your Dad, but you got to have the most precious last times with him. That has value till eternity and is priceless. Cherish that and let go any hurtful feelings, forgive and have peace that will surpass all understanding. Shalom!

This was a hard post to write for me and took a lot out of me, so I am just writing a basic message back today, to thank everyone that took time to comment on this or vote for it, I really appreciate it, I just don't have much more to say on the issue.

Thank you very much for the support.

Incredibly touching. Those 3 pictures with your father are so priceless. Your words also touched me very dearly...

Thanks my man.....

This was a hard post to write for me and took a lot out of me, so I am just writing a basic message back today, to thank everyone that took time to comment on this or vote for it, I really appreciate it, I just don't have much more to say on the issue.

Thank you very much for the support.

I had the same thing happend to me, but you were there when it counted!!

This was a hard post to write for me and took a lot out of me, so I am just writing a basic message back today, to thank everyone that took time to comment on this or vote for it, I really appreciate it, I just don't have much more to say on the issue.

Thank you very much for the support.

We all family here brother, no judgement just love. Sorry about your father, hard to have a parent die.

This was a hard post to write for me and took a lot out of me, so I am just writing a basic message back today, to thank everyone that took time to comment on this or vote for it, I really appreciate it, I just don't have much more to say on the issue.

Thank you very much for the support.

I feel you my friend...I lost my dad too last year September...very painful indeed. However, at last our loved ones are in a better place -no more pain. Bless you

This was a hard post to write for me and took a lot out of me, so I am just writing a basic message back today, to thank everyone that took time to comment on this or vote for it, I really appreciate it, I just don't have much more to say on the issue.

Thank you very much for the support.

Same here too. Was hard for me to comment because I am in the same situation. Bless you

You have brought tears to my eyes.
That picture is lovely.
I'm glad that you have chosen not to dwell on the painful parts of your past, but look forward and make a good difference in the world.

Thanks Linda, honestly.

This was a hard post to write for me and took a lot out of me, so I am just writing a basic message back today, to thank everyone that took time to comment on this or vote for it, I really appreciate it, I just don't have much more to say on the issue.

Thank you very much for the support.

my condolences

This was a hard post to write for me and took a lot out of me, so I am just writing a basic message back today, to thank everyone that took time to comment on this or vote for it, I really appreciate it, I just don't have much more to say on the issue.

Thank you very much for the support.

My dad passed away in February and your pictures made me a bit sad. I am sorry for your loss and I hope that you find peace putting it all in writing.

This was a hard post to write for me and took a lot out of me, so I am just writing a basic message back today, to thank everyone that took time to comment on this or vote for it, I really appreciate it, I just don't have much more to say on the issue.

Thank you very much for the support.

la familia es lo mas importante

This was a hard post to write for me and took a lot out of me, so I am just writing a basic message back today, to thank everyone that took time to comment on this or vote for it, I really appreciate it, I just don't have much more to say on the issue.

Thank you very much for the support.

Sorry for your loss. I am sure you did all you could for your father.

This was a hard post to write for me and took a lot out of me, so I am just writing a basic message back today, to thank everyone that took time to comment on this or vote for it, I really appreciate it, I just don't have much more to say on the issue.

Thank you very much for the support.

Thanks for sharing such a personal situation with us. I lost my dad in 2009 it was tough. He passed away so young too, smh. Keep ya head up man and let his passing be an inspiration for you.

This was a hard post to write for me and took a lot out of me, so I am just writing a basic message back today, to thank everyone that took time to comment on this or vote for it, I really appreciate it, I just don't have much more to say on the issue.

Thank you very much for the support.

Making peace with the past is important. Thanks for sharing!

I know some of the journey you have been on and been sharing about also @clayboyn, so it was nice to hear from you on this.....

This was a hard post to write for me and took a lot out of me, so I am just writing a basic message back today, to thank everyone that took time to comment on this or vote for it, I really appreciate it, I just don't have much more to say on the issue.

Thank you very much for the support.

Any time King of the North, you know how to get in touch if you ever need to talk. :)

You are a beaut too, like @klye.

#BroHug

a bond between a man and his father is one of the greatest memories a man could have, my dad is my best friend and I can't even imagine losing him. I bet your dad is smiling down at you from above. You'll see him again one day.

This was a hard post to write for me and took a lot out of me, so I am just writing a basic message back today, to thank everyone that took time to comment on this or vote for it, I really appreciate it, I just don't have much more to say on the issue.

Thank you very much for the support.

I am sorry for your loss & respect your feelings about sharing your pain publicly. It is a very exposing feat. Only God knows how far reaching your influence shall be. ❤

This was a hard post to write for me and took a lot out of me, so I am just writing a basic message back today, to thank everyone that took time to comment on this or vote for it, I really appreciate it, I just don't have much more to say on the issue.

Thank you very much for the support.

You are welcome, and I'm sure it did take a lot out of you.

Awe..that's a really rotten thing to have happen at a time like that. I can see from the photos that you cared deeply for your dad. He may not have approved of all that you did as an adult, but somehow I am positive he was so proud of you on many, many occasions.

It's a shame that you weren't given a chance to gather any of the momentos that should have become cherished keepsakes. It's a shame that you weren't afforded the opportunity to help settle your dad's estate and finalize his life as should have been your right. Yes, these things are shameful, but not to be taken on your shoulders....that shame is not yours to bear.

You are building your own legacy, of which your dad is a part. Everything he's done from the day of your birth to this very day has felt his touch. You, alone have decided how to handle these feelings and I think you have done a fantastic job. I don't know you aside from speaking a few sentences here on Steemit, but I can tell you are a man of honor, integrity and caring.

I am so very sorry for your loss, but more than that, I am sorry for the way you were treated during that very stressful time. Big hugs for you, Barry.

This was a hard post to write for me and took a lot out of me, so I am just writing a basic message back today, to thank everyone that took time to comment on this or vote for it, I really appreciate it, I just don't have much more to say on the issue.

Thank you very much for the support.

So much respect to you, brother. I wish the best for you and your family

This was a hard post to write for me and took a lot out of me, so I am just writing a basic message back today, to thank everyone that took time to comment on this or vote for it, I really appreciate it, I just don't have much more to say on the issue.

Thank you very much for the support.

Excellent post and my condolences for your loss. I too feel it, I've now lived long enough to have lost both of my parents and one of my siblings and the feeling of emptiness is still there, though time in truth has dulled the pain somewhat. I still find myself speaking to my dad in passing....

You are a blessed person to have had a good father! Pass those lessons on.

This was a hard post to write for me and took a lot out of me, so I am just writing a basic message back today, to thank everyone that took time to comment on this or vote for it, I really appreciate it, I just don't have much more to say on the issue.

Thank you very much for the support.

Gentle hugs and love. Losing a family member is rough and often brings out the best and worst in the surviving family members.

Take the time you need. Best wishes as you work through the changes... Hugs and prayers.

Angel graphic from Pixabay

angel-2512756_1280.jpg

This was a hard post to write for me and took a lot out of me, so I am just writing a basic message back today, to thank everyone that took time to comment on this or vote for it, I really appreciate it, I just don't have much more to say on the issue.

Thank you very much for the support.

My condolences. I am blessed to still have my dad around. Take care.

This was a hard post to write for me and took a lot out of me, so I am just writing a basic message back today, to thank everyone that took time to comment on this or vote for it, I really appreciate it, I just don't have much more to say on the issue.

Thank you very much for the support.

My condolences

This was a hard post to write for me and took a lot out of me, so I am just writing a basic message back today, to thank everyone that took time to comment on this or vote for it, I really appreciate it, I just don't have much more to say on the issue.

Thank you very much for the support.

Anytime, mate :)

I am sorry, dear friend @barrydutton, for more that two years have passed, pain always persists, the emptiness left by a loved one can not be filled with anything in the world.
I wish you a happy rest

Thanks Jose.....

This was a hard post to write for me and took a lot out of me, so I am just writing a basic message back today, to thank everyone that took time to comment on this or vote for it, I really appreciate it, I just don't have much more to say on the issue.

Thank you very much for the support.

It took a lot of guts to share your heart in this post @barrydutton. I appreciate your trust in us on steemit.

The same hospital where both my parents passed and where I was mistreated and ignored after being run down by a car 18 mths ago.... and since you live near me, you know which one it is. And how terrible it is there, as residents know.

--

This was a hard post to write for me and took a lot out of me, so I am just writing a basic message back today, to thank everyone that took time to comment on this or vote for it, I really appreciate it, I just don't have much more to say on the issue.

Thank you very much for the support.

Thanks for sharing this personal story. Families can be difficult at least you got to spend the last precious moments with your Dad. My sister passed away 2 years ago too and I still think of her every day.

This was a hard post to write for me and took a lot out of me, so I am just writing a basic message back today, to thank everyone that took time to comment on this or vote for it, I really appreciate it, I just don't have much more to say on the issue.

Thank you very much for the support.

Your father appreciated what you did, and you can sleep well knowing you did the right thing.

STEEM On!!

This was a hard post to write for me and took a lot out of me, so I am just writing a basic message back today, to thank everyone that took time to comment on this or vote for it, I really appreciate it, I just don't have much more to say on the issue.

Thank you very much for the support.

Thanks again Dave.

hey @barrydutton, just gave you a tip and a upvote .. keep up the great content. I'm sorry to hear about your father. It's always the worst when it's parents! @lank god bless you!

Not sure what you meant by a tip, I checked my wallet in case that is what you meant but there was nothing there about 18 hrs after your comment here.

This was a hard post to write for me and took a lot out of me, so I am just writing a basic message back today, to thank everyone that took time to comment on this or vote for it, I really appreciate it, I just don't have much more to say on the issue.

Thank you very much for the support.

Anniversary dates are hard. Lost my dad when I was 20 (49 years ago) and some dates are still difficult. Like you, I was blessed to become a follower of the Lord 27 years ago now and am always glad to hear other peoples stories. Continue on sharing and caring. Blessings

This was a hard post to write for me and took a lot out of me, so I am just writing a basic message back today, to thank everyone that took time to comment on this or vote for it, I really appreciate it, I just don't have much more to say on the issue.

Thank you very much for the support.

That is rough man. Thank you for opening up and sharing this with the community. I’m glad you have that kind of friend in your life to be there during some very dark times.

Family always seems to be a mix bag. Some you love others you hate. After all is said and done though its moments like this that remind you to always try and stay in touch with family even if the other party is not interested so much in doing so. With how cruel the world can be family should be something you can always count on.

I'm done with family, I gave a lot of them effort and solid time trying over the years. I will not tell you what some of them said or did but it is not good.

This was a hard post to write for me and took a lot out of me, so I am just writing a basic message back today, to thank everyone that took time to comment on this or vote for it, I really appreciate it, I just don't have much more to say on the issue.

Thank you very much for the support.

We are always here for you in Steemit land. I usually check on my Steemit.chat and however many Steemit discord channels I’m in at least once a day (enjar). I should really find you on fedbook and put the old fossils on my friends list on high alert once they see the world “cryptocurrency” come out of me lol.

I am going through that now and reading your experience has softened the sadness I feel.
Nothing is of emotionally powerful as an experience as when you are holding your own dad's hand as he is in deep rest.

I am sorry you are dealing with this but that you are --- always gives a connection to people as such who are relating in some way be it timing or something else....

This was a hard post to write for me and took a lot out of me, so I am just writing a basic message back today, to thank everyone that took time to comment on this or vote for it, I really appreciate it, I just don't have much more to say on the issue.

Thank you very much for the support.

Emotional! There's nothing God cannot do. He makes things perfect at its own time.

This was a hard post to write for me and took a lot out of me, so I am just writing a basic message back today, to thank everyone that took time to comment on this or vote for it, I really appreciate it, I just don't have much more to say on the issue.

Thank you very much for the support.

I am so sorry for your loss. You were there when it mattered. Try to forgive and move on. Karma never forgets.

This was a hard post to write for me and took a lot out of me, so I am just writing a basic message back today, to thank everyone that took time to comment on this or vote for it, I really appreciate it, I just don't have much more to say on the issue.

Thank you very much for the support.

Barry, you are in my prayers. Your dad appreciated what you did, I am sure. You are facing reality quite well, it seems. Keep your head up, and your brother will notice and maybe face reality as well. Goodspeed, my brother!

F.U.R.R. (I'm now a follower!)

PS: Take your time, we will all be here for you when you get things taken care of...

Not much hope for him as a brother, or any others but thanks. I have put in my effort and time with them all. I am done.

This was a hard post to write for me and took a lot out of me, so I am just writing a basic message back today, to thank everyone that took time to comment on this or vote for it, I really appreciate it, I just don't have much more to say on the issue.

Thank you very much for the support.

Thanks for keeping it real Barry. The picture of you praying for your Dad says a lot man. It's great to read you turned the negativity of your family life into a positive by learning from it. What a great post man.

Dude, I do love hearing from you anytime so on this one, means a lot to me also....

This was a hard post to write for me and took a lot out of me, so I am just writing a basic message back today, to thank everyone that took time to comment on this or vote for it, I really appreciate it, I just don't have much more to say on the issue.

Thank you very much for the support.

So sorry to hear about your dad! Glad you were there for him! And, prayed for him! This story is touching!

This was a hard post to write for me and took a lot out of me, so I am just writing a basic message back today, to thank everyone that took time to comment on this or vote for it, I really appreciate it, I just don't have much more to say on the issue.

Thank you very much for the support.

WOW! What a beautiful post so far. Incredibly touching. You have a kind soul and heart. Heartfelt condolence to your father. RIP

This was a hard post to write for me and took a lot out of me, so I am just writing a basic message back today, to thank everyone that took time to comment on this or vote for it, I really appreciate it, I just don't have much more to say on the issue.

Thank you very much for the support.

This was obviously a hard post to write, but very moving and a testimony to your decency.

Thanks you.

This was a hard post to write for me and took a lot out of me, so I am just writing a basic message back today, to thank everyone that took time to comment on this or vote for it, I really appreciate it, I just don't have much more to say on the issue.

Thank you very much for the support.

This post make me think a lot. I can´t tell you I´m sorry because my dad is still alive and I don´t know how it´s to get lost a closer family, but I can tell you love is the most important gift all of us can receive from others. So, remember all the good moments and life your life with joy and happines.

Nice too meet you @barrydutton, my best wishes for you.

This was a hard post to write for me and took a lot out of me, so I am just writing a basic message back today, to thank everyone that took time to comment on this or vote for it, I really appreciate it, I just don't have much more to say on the issue.

Thank you very much for the support.

In life , there is time for everything. Time to be born and time to die. Sorry man. Death is a reality of life

This is deep on so many levels. Sorry for your lost my brother and I pray that you continue to regain your strength back. Just know he is no longer suffering with the worries of the world and that he is free. Continue following your dreams and know that your father is watching you from above and that he is very proud of not only you but what/who you became as well.

Thanks for that, I really do appreciate everyone, like you, who took time to comment on this.

He is now in a better place waiting for you my friend.

Bro.

Thanks my man, much love.

Wow, my respect grows for you all the more after reading this Barry. Family can be tough, but you seem to have handled the situations well.

Thank you for this sweet memoir to your father. I smiled when I read about the times he was proud of you - I'm sure he'd be smiling reading your thoughts.

Hey Lydon, thanks for taking time to comment today. I appreciate it a lot.

This was a hard post to write for me and took a lot out of me, so I am just writing a basic message back today, to thank everyone that took time to comment on this or vote for it, I really appreciate it, I just don't have much more to say on the issue.

Thank you very much for the support.

I completely understand Barry, it's ok. Thank you for being honest.

You are a good egg, Lydon. I really appreciate you.

Wow, this is a very personal story indeed. Doesn't get to much more vulnerable than this....It really is amazing how family (who ideally are the ones who trust and get along with the most) are often the most difficult or painful.
Its great to see that you have found so much love and peace with such a painful situation.
I feel for you. Its difficult to deal with family issues as it goes to the core of who we are. Its also very difficult to loose family because even if we were not that close they have always in some way been a part of our life.....Its almost like a part of our self dies.....
I think its a healthy sign that you are able to write this. A healthy sign of your character and also for the hopes of healing and improvement with life.
Respect Brother~*~

Thanks Quinn.

I do hope to meet you. This I know. Have a good week doing what you do my man.

Indeed~
May it be so~
Blessings~*~

Las pérdidas siempre son dolorosas,pero debes tener la satisfacción de haberlo asistido hasta último momento.

"Try and be nice and kind to people and family. Everyone can use kindness, understanding and encouragement in their lives, believe me." This right here got me. It is hard to be kind when you have experienced alot of pain from people who should love you. You are exceptional!

That's really sad to know. I hope things turn out better for you

Thanks my friend. I appreciate hearing from you, that is nice of you.

@barrydutton, I felt a tinge of sadness when I read your blog. When we know people on a social media like steemit or FB, we create an image of the person in our mind based on how he projects himself and /or based on the posts they make. This is social media and everyone puts in their best face and the best show. The impression created is that everyone is just bustling with prosperity in abundance and joy and peace in their life is given.

But then when one bares his life and heart, the pain and suffering undergone in life becomes so glaring that it shakes up every person to the hilt. I am sorry for your pain and suffering. I know it cannot be undone. Life has to go on. But I am glad that you are strengthened by your experience to make a difference in the life of people who you come across in your life.
I have been through very painful experience since my childhood too and still at pain. But as you said, I guess we should move on in life and make it a better world out there.

Thanks for sharing Barry, it's changed my perception about you (not that I was anything critical anyway, you have been a great guy here and I took it that life must have been a bed of roses for you ).

Please do not feel let down by your brother. You have more well wishing brothers here than you could imagine. I shall pray for your well-being and peace. Be happy. God bless.

Your story reminds me of my dad too but unlike you, i was not there to give care.i left mum to do that while i sent money.how bad i felt when i heard he died.
My condolence please, God says they will rise in the resurrection

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