This post was very inspiring to me because of the honesty and true expression of yourself. I never had "body dysmorphia" like you but I have had a similar experience with girls in my teens.

I was shy, quiet, and very awkward. With my friends group that I hung out with would have a mix between girls and guys. The girls found me "creepy" cause when I felt attracted to them and saw them I would just stare in a way that made them feel weird. While everyone else in the group was "hooking up" I was alone. It was very hard for me for a long time.

At one point I realized that I had a guilt complex about being a dominant man towards women. I realized this was created when I was young by my all women family (my grandma, 3 aunts, all 3 girl cousins). They were constantly complaining about men and very unsatisfied with there relationships. I would talk/listen among them about men being womanizer, lazy and all they want is sex(etc.). I internalized this and shaped myself in a way that was opposite towards a strong dominant man. I have literally caught myself, when im not thinking, clenching, compressing and pulling my abdomen backwards into myself.

As I have realized this I've started accepting myself more as a man. As I go through this process I find women being attracted to me more and more over time. I still stare and smile at women I find attractive but now they respond with attraction the majority of time. The difference is that now I confidently push my chest out, stretch out my abdomen and I walk/stand tall whenever I can; When catch my self with my old habit and pulling my body inward, I just push it back out again. With this new comparability I have I do some of the exact same things as before, except with positive results. If you have any other questions or want more tips on what helped me with the change I would be happy to help. Keep up the strong expressive feelings within your post, cheers!