My Angel on Earth.

Finally, some well-deserved break...

Time to read and reply back to text messages from my mom who has been continuously bickering because she does not enough money for medications, needs and other stuff for her and my dad. Sometimes, if you don't really know her, you'd be annoyed. It's an endless tale of "woe is me." I have to admit, I have had to bite my tongue most times lest I say something that could hurt her, which I of course wouldn't want to happen. Too many scars already since I was young , and I don't want to add any more. Not now, not ever.

So, I just make some funny comment like, "Well, me too. Ref's empty and we live off on chicken noodles and sardines this week." And she goes, "You don't have the right to say you don't have money because you're always working." I make my own litany of bills I have to pay, tuition fees, rent, gas. She sends another text message that says, "Well, that's how life is. The only thing that we all have to go through life is patience and hard work." And she is right. Now, this could have gotten the other way if I insisted on my own devilish thought just to annoy her, but I didn't.

It got me thinking though about the future. Someday, I would be the one texting or calling or hologram calling one of my children. What would I say? What would I complain about? What would I be bickering about?

Many people my age still feel invincible. A lot of us think that there is nothing in this world that can harm us, but the reality is, things happen -- we grow old, we become slow, we all will become fragile. So, how can I prepare for that? Much of it really is mindset. As they say, age is just a number. (That's just me convincing myself). But what of the physical manifestations of aging that slowly creep in -- the aching knees and wrists, the graying hair, the laugh lines, crow's feet or whatever you call wrinkles.

I can only breathe in and breathe out and then smile. That message I got from my mom is something that made me smile and realize that yes, I am doing something good here. Regardless of failures, regardless of hurts, someone believes in me that I can do anything, that I can be part of something and be meaningful.

I am grateful for my mom (and of course my dad). I would not be where I am today had it not been for her constant nagging and pushing. I realize these are the things that make me feel young, it's because I have my mom still constantly pushing and nagging me to be the best that I can be, not only for myself but for my children too.

I love you, ma.