Masseur or Masseuse. What's the difference?

Many times people call a massage therapist a masseuse just because they've heard or read the term and they assume all massage therapists fall under the same title.

Well for one thing the term masseuse and masseur relate to something way more specific then the way we tend to use it here in the USA but that's neither here nor there since here in the US it is now generally accepted to mean massage practitioner. But here's where Americans generally tend to mess it up.

Masseur is a male and masseuse is a female. If you feel challenged to actually remember that and you don't want to mess it up then you'll pretty much always be safe in using the terms body-worker or massage therapist since those terms are not gender specific.

Now in some American states the government has stepped in and made it illegal for a massage therapist to actually call themselves a massage therapist unless they pay the government for the right to use the term. Yup true story.

The Importance Of Massage.
Important Or Just Nice?

Many people think of massage as a nice, every once in a while, experience or even as just a gift idea.

While it's true that massage makes a nice gift, there is actually much more to it than that.

For example massage is very healthy emotionally and physically. Along with releasing endorphins (happy chemicals) into your system it can improve your health in many ways.

Many already know that massage is great for stress reduction, which can certainly improve your overall state of health and mind. Massage can also improve circulation as well as lower blood pressure. Honestly the list of reasons that massage can be beneficial is huge.

Quality of touch and male vs. female:

Now let us for a moment speak about quality of touch and male vs. female. Some folks prefer a female massage therapist and some prefer male.

What's the difference? Well some people feel that a female won't have the strength to do the deeper work. Let me clear that up immediately by saying that I have definitely met some female massage therapists that were actually very powerful. But having said that let me also say that not all massage therapist's are created equally.

I recommend shopping around and trying out different therapists and different styles. You are bound to find a few that you really like and also a few that just don't do it for you.

For example when I want a massage depending on my mood I may want Thai massage or Swedish or deep tissue, or perhaps try something completely new.

I may want a male therapist or I may want a female. I feel female energy is quite complimentary to my male physiology. But at the same time there are times when I prefer male energy.

Allow me to share my perspective on this. For example a male may go through his entire life and never know the gentle nonsexual loving touch of another male, and yes at the same time a woman may also go through her entire life and never know the gentle loving nonsexual touch of a male. Or visa versa, female therapist to female client, or female therapist to male client. The potential for healthy psychological impact in these cases can be huge. I mean they can be life changing.

Aversion To Massage:

Now admittedly not everyone is going to want a massage. For example there may be experience in a person's past that may prevent them from even being comfortable with the idea. They may not even know what happened to cause them to feel that way but basically the idea of experiencing massage just about makes them cringe.

Now how would I go about working on someone who is experiencing such an aversion to touch?

Very simple.

I wouldn't.

Each to their own. If he or she doesn't want to be on my table then I guarantee that I don't want them there even more. Dealing with the issues surrounding their aversion to touch would I believe, be better addressed by another type of therapy.

If however the client is just adverse to massage because of previously being worked on by a bad/sloppy/rough/insensitive etc., body-worker then yes I would gladly help them understand and appreciate body-work in a better light. But once again, only if they are open to it. Just showing up because your husband or wife pestered you into it, isn’t really the mindset that will help you have a better experience, unless of course you can possibly allow yourself to be open to the possibility of a better experience.

Or perhaps it’s a same sex issue? Well then just go with that and don’t force yourself to be worked on by a gender you’re not comfortable with, unless you’ve really thought it out and have decided to do it for reasons of personal growth, but certainly if that’s your choice then also put some good thought into your choice of practitioner.

I applaud your effort and bravery at self growth but don’t mess it up by choosing someone who isn’t sensitive to what you’re doing and why. In this instance I would recommend a pre-meeting to speak with the practitioner to evaluate his or her response when you share with them that you have issues that you are seeking to grow through using massage as a vehicle for healing. (DISCLAIMER: Of course if you are under some sort of professional mental illness counseling/care, then please speak to your mental health professional first.)

Now having said all that let me speak a bit more about deep tissue massage. I've run into this quite a bit and I'd like to take this opportunity to clear up a very common misconception.

Deep Tissue Massage Has To Be Painful, Right?

A lot of people think that deep tissue work has to be painful. It doesn't.

Now if the therapist moves into the work too quickly then yeah it's just plain gonna hurt. But if the therapist knows how to work slowly, gently and with patience then they are able to do that deeper work without inflicting an experience that resembles torture.

I started sharing this with my clients’ years ago because I realized that many of them were expecting pain, and when it did not occur then they would assume that the work was not being done.

So there it is. Deep tissue work does not have to be painful.

Is Clothing Optional?

When I work on people I usually use oil or lotion so from my perspective it’s easier for me to work if the client has disrobed completely. That way I don’t need to pay attention to not getting oil or lotion on their clothing and also I don’t have to work around clothing, which can mess a bit with the flow I’m seeking to produce when I’m working.

The client is fully and appropriately draped at all times, only exposing whatever body part I need access to as the session continues.

But… Of course if being completely undressed will cause you emotional discomfort then we (massage therapists) don’t want that either, so we will work to the best of our ability with whatever clothing you feel you need to hold on to. For example I’ve found that quite a few men feel the need to keep their boxer shorts on, and on one occasion I actually met a fellow who wanted to keep his pants on too.

Interestingly enough I find that for the most part women seem to be more comfortable with their bodies and in completely disrobing for the massage. Definitely there are some who feel the need to keep their underwear in place, bra, etc., but certainly much less then the men and their boxers.

I understand that social/body taboos will be different in different countries, and I must admit that my experience in relation to robed or disrobed, has been only in the USA but that does extend from the east coast, to the west coast and includes having worked on clients from all over the world.

Clients That Absolutely Won’t Be Comfortable Disrobing

A nice massage chair is wonderful for folks who wouldn’t be comfortable disrobing and or for those new to receiving massage and are feeling shy about the whole idea.

Massage chair = Fully clothed!

Massage chair is a wonderful way to introduced people to massage. I of course prefer the table for reasons of easy access and positioning of the body, but the massage chair is definitely a great way to go and is easily setup in office or storefront or beach or whatever and the client is completely clothed!

Thai Massage: Another Great Fully Clothed Option

I absolutely adore Thai Massage. Thai Massage is very healthy/healing/balancing.
Thai Massage is performed with the client fully clothed and takes place on a mat on the floor. Since the client is clothed, no oil, or lotion is actually needed.

Thai Massage is especially wonderful in that it works with an energy system (Sen Lines) similar to the meridian system to restore health and balance to the clients physiology/psychology/energy field. In the right hands this is a very powerful type of body-work.

What is The Best Way To Experience Massage?

From the clients perspective what would I consider to be the best way to experience massage?

I say to get the most out of your massage, just allow yourself to let go.

Unless the therapist actually asks you to do something, then just let go and close your eyes. Don't attempt to help the therapist move your body parts. Sometimes this can be very difficult for some people to do.

But that's okay. Practice makes perfect. (Exception in Thai Massage. As Thai Massage tends to require more conscious participation from the client)

Don't attempt to engage the therapist in an active ongoing conversation.

If the therapist engages you then good luck with that.

On occasion I've visited a therapist for a massage and they spent most of the massage engaging me in conversation. OMG. Guess who never got a return visit. How can I drift off if you keep pulling me back to the surface with your chatter. Yikes. If your therapist is this type then good luck. You can attempt to tell them to let you relax but that can certainly be a bit awkward and with a real Chabot it may not even work.

Communicate when Important

Communicate any discomfort to your therapist. You know how you’re feeling. The therapist should be looking and feeling for clues as to your state but directly telling them if you are in discomfort from something they are doing, or if you feel their touch is too light or too deep, etc., will benefit everyone involved.

E.g. if you tell your therapist that you feel they’re going too deep, then they will have the opportunity to better tailor the session for you and or, if there is a very good reason for continuing that specific work they can explain to you why, and then you, having more information and understanding can decide if it’s something you want to pursue right now or not.

In most cases I would say that the massage practitioner really and truly wants to give you the very best session possible and so helping them understand what you’re feeling can be very beneficial to both you and them.

Passing Gas While On The Table

Yes just do it. You won’t be able to relax and thoroughly enjoy your time on the table or mat if you’re experiencing gas pains. Clients farting on the table is one of the little known, very little talked about, but widespread and encouraged to varying degrees aspects of the massage room.

Visiting The Rest Room

Same as above. You won’t be able to fully relax if you need to take care of a bodily function. If possible try to limit your liquid intake about an hour before your visit.

Drooling On The Massage Room Floor

If while face down on the table you find that you have accidentally drooled on the floor, don’t worry about it. Don’t be embarrassed.

From the viewpoint of the practitioner this is a compliment. I have on occasion stepped in puddles of drool on the floor under the “face cradle” and I am very pleased that I have been able to relax the client to a level of mindless drooling. :-)

Eating Before A Massage

I like to recommend that if at all possible that the client refrain from eating about 3 hours before the scheduled massage. If for some reason this is not possible then just eat very, very lightly.

The Massage Does Not End When You Leave The Table

Your massage therapist will probably give you a bottle of water when the massage is over and you have dressed. Drink it. Drink it even if you don’t feel thirsty. The clean water helps your body on many levels. Not the least of which is to help flush your system of the toxins that have been released during your time on the table.

…For the rest of the day drink more water than you usually do…

If you must eat, then just eat lightly for the rest of the day. This allows your body to spend its energy on continuing to process as effectively as possible the work that was just done. Continuing to clean house as it were. Healing, repairing, and regenerating.

Take the rest of the day off. Unplug from everything. Take it easy.

If at all possible schedule your massage for a time when you can just do something relaxing afterwards. Go home and have a nice soak in your tub. Read a book. Avoid stressful situations. Sunbathe. Visit nature. A peaceful walk in the woods or the beach.

Picking Your Therapist...

Intention:

Many of you are no doubt aware that modern science has now long ago discovered that the observer influences the outcome of the experiment merely by the act of observation.

What's the intention of your therapist? Is your therapist working for a spa or company that has them under pressure to process as many bodies as possible?

Are they smiling on the outside but stressing on the inside because of the pressure they’re working under?

Are you just a body on a conveyor belt or is their intention one of care and compassion?

How is their personal story affecting your psychology and the cells in your body...? Do you feel good when you leave their office or do you feel drained or somehow stressed?

After the massage when you're in the process of leaving, is the therapist leaning on you to make your next appointment? Even if I enjoyed the massage I don't want the therapist to pressure me into signing up again. Let me relax. I'll call if I want to see you again.

For example. I had a massage. It was okay. Not great but just okay. I might have even visited again in the future since her office was close to where I live. But as I was leaving I felt pressure emanating from her for me to sign up for another appointment.

No. And I won't be back. Here I am relaxed and vulnerable and you're gonna start stressing me about making a new appointment? Yikes. I don't think so.

Yes not all therapists are created equally. But massage can be immeasurably beneficial, so if you don't like your experience with one then just try another and another and hopefully over time you can find a few that you know will give you what you need according to your mood or desires.

Prenatal massage. What's that about?

Are you wondering about gift ideas for your expecting friend? One of the best gifts that I can think of is the gift of Love.

Pregnancy can be a very stressful time for the female body as well as the emotions. On a physical level massage can help to relieve and relax the body during this time, and of course on an emotional level massage can help the recipient feel comforted and loved, during one of the most challenging times of her existence.

What about the baby? Research has shown that the baby while still inside the womb, is experiencing, the emotions of the mother and so if the mother is feeling loved and comforted, then yes the baby is feeling it too. Prenatal massage is a bit different from other styles in that we use specific positioning and techniques in relation to the client.

For example I am aware of and avoid certain meridian points that can be used to stimulate the birth process. I feel fairly confident that slightly stimulating these areas through the normal course of the massage would be fine since it would usually take dedicated attention and focus on these points to have an effect, but I and many other massage therapist’s that have studied the different aspects of prenatal massage tend to lean towards the “safe side” in relation to stimulating or not stimulating these areas.

I feel attention to detail is always important in any form of massage. Noticing the clients breathing, body tension etc is very important in that it allows the therapist to have a greater feel and understanding of the session unfolding in the moment.

Which brings us to the use of scents or scented products…

Scents or non-scents

Not everyone enjoys the same types of scents. I stopped wearing any type of fragrance many years ago because I like to remove any potential challenges to the client having the very best session possible. When working in prenatal massage this is potentially even more crucial since the recipient may have nausea or stress producing reactions to different fragrances and this includes fragrances that were previously enjoyed.

Geriatric Massage

I still remember the first time I worked on a senior citizen. I was working for a spa at the time and I really didn’t know the difference between working on the elderly as opposed to an average young, or middle aged body.

I began by attempting to go through my regular Swedish routine and I very quickly realized that it just wasn’t gonna get me anywhere near what the client was hoping for… I improvised in the moment as best I could, realizing and taking note as I went about the large differences in body type from what I was used to…

I left that session determined to understand how to better address the elderly physiology through massage work in the future.

Just like in a good prenatal massage there are things to be aware of in relation working with a special physiology. Some positions are better than others and some techniques are not going to be utilized.

Of course this all depends upon what condition your client is in. I have met elderly subjects where just about anything goes, because they’re in such great shape physically and of course others where I was exceptionally glad that I took the time to study the differences so I would better understand which tools for which job. Seriously.

This brings up another point that I will quickly mention before I close this talk on massage, in case you may find it interesting…

One day at a spa where I was employed, the owner saw me reading a book on massage and she said, “What are you doing? I thought you already knew massage?” I of course explained that I view the art of massage as a lifetime study and that there is always more to learn…

Study…

To me massage is not about just taking a class or two and then you’re done. I mean as a massage practitioner you can of course just take a class and go from there. You will of course continue learning as you grow in the work over the years and I’m certain that some practitioners have become quite good in such a way.

But for me it’s always been hands on, class on, study on and on and on… To me the practice of body-work is an art form and I am continuously seeking to better utilize and understand the tools and concepts, energy and colors of the shared dance that we call massage… Of the shared dance we call Life… Massage is for life…

My friends I will bring this sharing about massage to a close for now. There is of course much more to the massage experience then I would attempt to share here in this moment but it is my sincere hope that you have found this article to be interesting and enjoyable.

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